[Grace Toll Hall, Scripps College, Claremont]
To-day is my birthday, which is not a good excuse for writing a letter, but is the only way of celebrating that event that I have, as I have so far succeeded in concealing it from my friends. Justtravels, trips and plansTSE's 1932–3 year in America;a7TSE reflects on;b4 a year ago this evening I arrived at Ada’s and began my eventful visit to America. I wondered then where I should be a year hence, and I find myself wondering the same thing to-day. Another fine autumn day, as fine as that a year ago. I cannot say that I am proud of the progress I have made in the time. IChristianitysins, vices, faults;d5TSE's self-appraisal;a7 wonder if other people see themselves always as a monotonous repetition of the same faults, as I do. The same restlessness and weariness, inability to concentrate on what there is at hand to do, the same constant evasions in one’s thoughts and minor occupations, the same discontents with other people and expecting more of them than one has any right to do, the same dryness of spirit; everything returns, or surprises one with the reminder that it has been there all the time.1 I pray that when all early [?earthly] desires leave me there will not be left merely a vacuum, a torpor. Of course this condition is not continuous, but most of the time, and I dare say nervous fatigue, and the reaction from the constant occupation and distraction of America, play their part. I comfort myself with the reflexion: il y a toujours quelque chose à faire, in spiritual improvement, in making the most of myself, and in usefulness. Whilede Foucauld, Charlesinspires TSE by his example;a1 at Kelham I read a biography of the Vicomte Charles de Foucauld, the Trappist monk who became a missionary to the Moroccan tribesmen and was killed by some of them during the war – some of my French friends had met him: such steadfastness, self-abnegation and devotion make me very much ashamed of myself.2 A man with such immense stores of spiritual energy, and gifts of grace, so utterly concentrated on the good and on God, makes me feel a very poor thing to be always so tired, tired, so lacking in enthusiasm for the things I can do, sogames, diversionscrossword puzzles;a3 constantlygames, diversionslight reading;a5 turning to light reading or crossword puzzles.
You see, again, that other people have reason to be dissatisfied with themselves besides you – and a great deal more so. I wish that I might have a long letter telling me of your present life. You have seemed very far away the last few days – and having no claim upon you I am more easily inclined to believe that you have lost, or will lose, interest in me. Even if I were convinced of that, however, I should be just as anxious about you, and as anxious to have every scrap of news that I can.
Tomorrow I go up to town for the day. I have not very much to do there, as Ernest Bird is away for a few days; but on Wednesdays there is a late evening train back, and FrankMorley, Frank Vigormusic-hall evening with;c1 has suggested that we should spend the evening in town, as I have not been in London for a single evening since my return; soFlint, Frank Stuart ('F. S.')accompanies TSE to music hall;a7 we shall meet Frank Flint and perhaps one or two other men, and dine and probably go to a music hall.
TheEliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood)separation from;f1VHE in denial over;b7 present situation is that V. merely refuses to recognise the situation or admit that I am not coming back, which means that no settlement can be made, and that she is keeping up an establishment beyond what I can eventually afford. I had a talk with her doctor last week, and he has written to her; andHutchinson, Maryenlisted to prevail on VHE;a7 I wrote to Mary Hutchinson.3 Mary replied that she would see V. and try to influence her to accept the inevitable, but that V. had not seemed to want to see her lately; ‘I have noticed’, she says, ‘that since I told her I knew the truth and compared it with her stories she has not wanted to see me – and I believe she only likes to see people who will accept that unreal world of hers.’ TheJames, Alfredineffectual over separation;a3 trouble is partly that the family lawyer is old and unfitted anyway to cope with this kind of business, and therefore exerts no influence, but confines himself to conveying useless proposals from her and from her mother. The bringing of greater pressure to bear – such as reducing or witholding [sic] funds – will be unpleasant if it becomes necessary.
OnePike's FarmTSE's stay with the Eameses extended;a8 of the nuisances is that I do not feel that I can make any plans for taking up an abode in London until some settlement is come to. And I can’t stay here all winter. I expect to stay here to the end of October however. IEnglandYorkshire;k8;a1 amTemple, William, Archbishop of York (later of Canterbury)invites TSE to unemployment conference;a3 going up to Yorkshire for a couple of days on the tenth – the Archbishop has asked me there to join in a conference on the subject of unemployment; andDobrée, Bonamy;a8 if I can get a connexion I shall spend a night with the Dobrées in Norfolk on my way back. When I think I can afford it, I want to get over to Paris for a week, if possible before Marguerite goes back to Rome in the middle of November.
I want to know what work you now have to do, whether you are already involved with Padua Hills, how you occupy your leisure if any, how many hours sleep you get, how your hands are (I must go to the dentist myself, but one postpones it when it means a journey to town every time) how much you get out in your car, and so on; and then I can offer you any amount of good advice which you will not take. HasFirst New Deal;a2 your salary been cut again, in response to Roosevelt’s appeal?4 Chère Emilie, je t’embrasse les mains avec ferveur.
1.‘See, they return, and bring us with them’ (Little Gidding).
2.Renéreading (TSE's)René Bazin's Charles de Foucauld;d5 Bazin, Charles de Foucauld [1921], trans. Peter Keelan (La Vie de Charles de Foucauld explorateur en Maroc, eremite du Sahara). Charlesde Foucauld, Charles de Foucauld (1858–1916), explorer, monk and priest, a wealthy aristocrat who served in the early part of his life as an army officer in Algeria. In 1882 he resigned from the army and joined a perilous exploration to the Sahara, travelling in disguise through Algeria and Morocco; he also journeyed into South Algeria and Tunisia; and he would later visit the Holy Land. He subsequently took holy orders and chose to lead a life of penury and hardship: having been ordained a priest in 1901, he proceeded to live for the next fifteen years as a hermit missionary in the central Sahara near Morocco, ultimately in a Touareg village at Tamanghasset in southern Algeria. He was shot and killed by passing Muslim insurgents of the Senussi order.
3.See TSE to Mary Hutchinson, 20 Sept. 1933, Letters 6, 640–1.
4.In July 1933, President Roosevelt – using broadcasting facilities to speak to the nation only for the third time – launched his campaign ‘to bring about an immediate rise in wages and contraction in working hours throughout the country’. The plan was to put at least 6,000,000 of the 12,000,000 unemployed back to work by the beginning of Sept. It was proposed, too, that a large number of those currently in employment should receive a raise in the minimum wage. Thus the plan as a whole aimed ‘at increasing purchasing power by some $108,000,000 a week’. See ‘The American Plan: A Prosperity “Drive”: Mr Roosevelt’s Broadcast: Appeal to the Nation’, The Times, 25 July 1933, 14. Ironically, it would seem that an unintended consequence of this stupendously difficult plan, involving as it did a ‘contraction in working hours’, meant that EH found herself earning somewhat less than she had formerly been paid.
2.Renéreading (TSE's)René Bazin's Charles de Foucauld;d5 Bazin, Charles de Foucauld [1921], trans. Peter Keelan (La Vie de Charles de Foucauld explorateur en Maroc, eremite du Sahara). Charlesde Foucauld, Charles de Foucauld (1858–1916), explorer, monk and priest, a wealthy aristocrat who served in the early part of his life as an army officer in Algeria. In 1882 he resigned from the army and joined a perilous exploration to the Sahara, travelling in disguise through Algeria and Morocco; he also journeyed into South Algeria and Tunisia; and he would later visit the Holy Land. He subsequently took holy orders and chose to lead a life of penury and hardship: having been ordained a priest in 1901, he proceeded to live for the next fifteen years as a hermit missionary in the central Sahara near Morocco, ultimately in a Touareg village at Tamanghasset in southern Algeria. He was shot and killed by passing Muslim insurgents of the Senussi order.
3.Bonamy DobréeDobrée, Bonamy (1891–1974), scholar and editor: see Biographical Register.
2.F. S. FlintFlint, Frank Stuart ('F. S.') (1885–1960), English poet and translator: see Biographical Register.
3.MaryHutchinson, Mary Hutchinson (1889–1977), literary hostess and author: see Biographical Register.
4.FrankMorley, Frank Vigor Vigor Morley (1899–1980), American publisher and author; a founding editor of F&F, 1929–39: see Biographical Register.
10.WilliamTemple, William, Archbishop of York (later of Canterbury) Temple (1881–1944), Anglican clergyman, Archbishop of York and later of Canterbury: see Biographical Register.