[No surviving envelope]
T. S.Eliot
EmilyHale
TS
Faber & Faber Ltd
30 November 1947
Dearest Emily,
I do not know how long or how full this letter will be: fortravels, trips and plansTSE's scheduled December 1947 visit to Marseilles and Rome;g2dreaded;a7 at the moment my mind is distracted from much more important matters (and this is the most important matter of all) by this so long dreaded visit to France and Rome – with the strain of frequent public speaking, meeting innumerable people, being polite and diplomatic, and having to talk French (and lecture in French too); and at the moment, the strain of not even knowing whether the trains will be running. Were it an ordinary lecture engagement, I should have put it off for better times and a more clement season; but I feel that an invitation to take an honorary degree (however little one wants it!) should not be missed except under force majeure. IBritish Council;b5 cannot help hoping that by Wednesday morning it will be impossible to leave – though even then, I should probably fulfil the Rome part of the tour, by getting the British Council to send me by aeroplane. I don’t think I should go to Marseilles, if I had to go alone, because of being allowed so very little pocket money; butFluchère, Henri;a7 if there should be any delay en route, Henri Fluchère ought to be able to take care of that.
IHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9since TSE discounted marriage;g5 have undergone many torments of mind in these last five months – to have reported to you each state of mind as it occurred would have given you no clue, but merely imposed a more constant strain upon both of us – and each state of mind had to be interpreted to myself in terms of the next. I only want you to understand that this ‘problem’ (for the word ‘problem’ itself is absurd, as it suggests that it was merely a matter of thinking out, instead of living out) has been the main theme in relation to which every thought, every occupation, every incident however trivial has been considered, for any possible light it might reveal. There have been periods of greater agony, periods of comparative, but conscious numbness, and periods in which I seemed to view everything with detachment – each ‘period’ varying from hours to days. I don’t think that either these experiences, or the decisions to which they lead, can be rationally accounted for: or rather, for everything there are at least two, and perhaps more, equally tenable explanations. I may be right for myself, I may be right for both of us, I may be merely egotistic, or I may be merely stupid and timid. It will appear to be any one of these; and any conclusion, from which one analyses the past, will make something in that past appear to be misguided and culpable. At no moment have I been without the feeling that I was losing, or throwing away, something most valuable; at no moment have I been sure that the loss was not on a deeper level than that. But the further one tries to get to the bottom of these matters, the further one gets from the world in which feelings can be put into words; and when one reverts to a verbal formulation, the words express a matter of fact, utilitarian formulation which is a travesty of the truth. PuttingHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE's reasons against marrying;c5 it on that, superficial level, I can say that I believe that the rest of my life can now only be a kind of completion (at best) of the kind of life I have lived; that I am aware that I am incapable of the kind of adaptation and pliancy necessary in order to live with another human being; that I feel that two human beings can only belong together by growing together; that growing together must begin while they are both capable of an indefinite degree of change of direction. I don’t think that either you or I are now capable of such change: and if we cannot change, we should be likely, instead of adapting ourselves to each other naturally and involuntarily, merely to accommodate by suppressing that in ourselves which was alien to the other. IfHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9had TSE behaved differently in 1914;g6 things had happened differently (and if either of us had been more mature, or perhaps had help, or if I for my part had been then more unified in what I wanted, or if I had not happened to be the queer kind of person with the misfortune of a kind of destiny or doom quite separate from my will) thirty-three years ago, we should both be very different people now from what we are. But it would be a very superficial (and not only superficial but erroneous) view which would put it in terms of your not being the person whom I could completely share my life with. It is always you or nobody: and I see that if I can’t live with you I can’t live with anybody – though the question never arose in my mind – all that I could give to anybody so clearly belongs to you, that no alternatives have ever been possible. No alternative either permanent or casual. Whatever else may be said (either by others or by myself) to my discredit, I don’t think that anyone has ever been more monogamous than I – and on so deep a level that there is no question of any moral merit in being so, for it has been much deeper than the will.
ThereHale, EmilyTSE's love for;x2as expressed in 1914 on Chestnut Hill;f2 is one allusion in your letter which I do not understand – that to my first declaration of love in Chestnut Hill in 1914. If I said no more than I did, it was because (1) of humility in believing that nothing was less likely than that I could expect love in return (2) the practical conscience which told me that I had no right to ask any woman to pledge herself to marry me, until I was sure of a position in which I could support myself and a wife.
Your friends are probably right: I doubt whether I could make any woman happy now – apart from the fact that I am sure I should be more unhappy with anyone else than with yourself. I have a probably superstitious, and possibly self-pityingly lachrymose, feeling that I have not many years, that there is something important I ought to do with them, and that I probably shall have postponed doing it ‘leaving disordered papers in a dusty room’1 which is exactly the state my room is in at present.
As for writing, and the intervals: anyway, I shall probably write again after I get back, before Christmas. AndPerkinses, the;m4 the Perkins’s are always on my mind. IBrocklebank, Charlotte Carissima ('Cara');a8 heard from Mrs. Brocklebank the other day; and she will I hope be writing them.2
Your
Tom.
1.‘Animula’, l. 30.
2.TSE responded to Cara Brocklebank on 28 Nov. 1947: ‘I am afraid that the Carroll Perkins’ have been having a difficult time. Dr. Perkins is now pretty feeble and can go out but very little. And Mrs. Perkins during the last year has become very nearly blind. She also cannot go out of doors without a companion, and of course is quite unable to read. I know that their health has been a source of great anxiety to Miss Hale who is living in the village of Concord not far from Boston and of course she is constantly with them.’
British Council, and TSE's mission to Sweden, honours TSE with Edinburgh reception, and TSE's abortive mission to Italy, and TSE's abortive North Africa mission, despaired of, wartime trip to Paris, think TSE's lecture too French, TSE opens exhibition for, trip to Paris,
Brocklebank, Charlotte Carissima ('Cara'), Cheetham introduces to TSE, invites TSE to Nativity play, son killed in action, shares ancestors with TSE, suffers further family heartbreak, visited in Stratford-upon-Avon, news of her death, her death and inquest, provides inspiration for 'Celia',
see also Brocklebanks, the
2.CharlotteBrocklebank, Charlotte Carissima ('Cara') Carissima (‘Cara’) Brocklebank (1885–1948), only surviving daughter of Gen. Sir Bindon and Lady Blood, married in 1910 Lt.-Col. Richard Hugh Royds Brocklebank, DSO (1881–1965). They lived at 18 Hyde Park Square, London W.2, and at Alveston House, Stratford-on-Avon, Warwickshire: see Biographical Register.
Fluchère, Henri, mourns The Criterion, his translation of Murder, TSE takes to, translating Aix lecture, lectures on Apollinaire, as TSE's companion in Aix, TSE's debt to, promised foreword by TSE, on Cocktail Party in Paris, hosts TSE in France, Shakespeare,
Hale, Emily, visits the Eliots for tea, returns to Boston, likened to TSE's mother, TSE identifies with her 'reserve', encouraged to write for periodicals, visits West Rindge, summers in Seattle, presents herself as cossetted, blames herself for an unfulfilled life, returns to Boston, consulted over TSE's Norton Professorship, holidays in Castine, vacations in New Bedford, TSE fears accident befalling, travels to stay in Seattle, Frank Morley on Ada on, arrives in California, brought to tears by music, goes horse-riding, baited over how to boil an egg, TSE passes old school of, takes motoring holiday via San Francisco, summers in Seattle, TSE composes squib for, takes TSE's hand in dream, returned to California, TSE sends Harvard Vocarium record, holidays in West Rindge, returns to Boston before embarking for England, arrives in England, to travel to Paris, returns to London, feels inferior to 'brilliant society', invited to Sweeney Agonistes rehearsal, attends Richard II with TSE, attends Sweeney Agonistes, takes TSE to Gielgud's Hamlet, taken to see Stravinsky conducting, leaves for Italy, takes tea at OM's before leaving, mistaken for TSE's sister, returns to Florence, sails for the Riviera, returns from France, returns to Chipping Campden, to Guernsey with Jeanie McPherrin, taken to Henry IV on return, shares open taxi with TSE through Parks and Whitehall, and TSE attend The Gondoliers, visit to the Russian ballet, invited to Murder in Canterbury, and TSE attend 1066 And All That, taken to Tovaritch, and Morleys set for ballet, which she excuses herself from, criticised for flower-arranging, and TSE walk in the Cotswolds, feels inferior to Margaret Thorp, and TSE theatre-going with Thorps, taken to Timon of Athens, taken to Peer Gynt, visited at Campden for TSE's birthday, takes lodgings in Oxford, lodges at 19 Rosary Gardens, watches TSE read to Student Christian Movement, and TSE visit Kenwood House, dines with the Maritains, describes tea with the Woolfs, returns to America, visits Ada on Boston homecoming, possible career-move into politics, pays winter visit to Rindge, and Eleanor Hinkley attend New York Murder, moves to 154 Riverway with Perkinses, considers volunteering for charity, living at 5 Clement Circle, holidays in Cataumet, returns abruptly to Cambridge, recuperates in New Hampshire, moves to 240 Crescent St., Northampton, Mass., lectures at Concord, returns to Brimmer Street, returns to Boston during vacation, sails for England, in residence at Chipping Campden, travels to Yorkshire, returned to Chipping Campden, returns and moves to 22 Paradise Road, Northampton, Mass., spends Thanksgiving in Boston, stays at Hotel Lincolnshire with the Perkinses, vacations at New Bedford, visits New York, holidays in Charleston, as patron of school, returns to Northampton, sails for England, day at Windsor with TSE, fortnight at Campden with TSE, at Campden with TSE again, returns to America with 'Boerre', ordered to stay in America in case of war, given Family Reunion draft with her comments, encouraged to write drama criticism, vacations in New Bedford, advises TSE against Tewkesbury choruses, holidays with the Havenses, sails for England, at Chipping Campden, stays with the Adam Smiths in Scotland, returns to America with Perkinses, safely returned, sent copy of TSE's daily prayers, sent first CNL, sends TSE selected American plays, holidays in New Bedford, spends Easter in Harwichport, holiday destinations, holidays in Cape Cod, returns to the Perkinses at 90 Commonwealth Avenue, stays with Elsmiths in Woods Hole, holidays on Grand Manan, visits Perkinses in Boston, returns to 90 Commonwealth Avenue, holidays in Madison, Wisc., travels on to Maine, holidays on Grand Manan, holidays in Bangor, Maine, as president of S. P. C. A., spends Christmas holiday in New Bedford, holidays in Woods Hole, loans out her Eliotana, removes from Smith to the Perkinses, spends time in Maine, repairs to New Bedford, spends time in Tryon, N. C., returned to Boston, spends three days in New York, shares details of will, holidays on Grand Manan, leaves TSE portrait in event of predeceasing him, late summer in New Brunswick, vacations in New Bedford, repairs to New Bedford, resident in Millbrook, takes short holiday at 'Bleak House', holidays on Grand Manan, visits Woods Hole, visits New Bedford, holidays in New Bedford, spends holiday at Sylvia Knowles's, holidays in Dorset, Vt., holidays briefly in Farmington, holidaying on Grand Manan, TSE seeks Trojan Women translation for, moves to 9 Lexington Road, gives Christmas readings, congratulates TSE on OM, urges TSE not to despair at honours, spends Easter in Boston, race-relations and the WPA, sings Bach's B Minor Mass, removes from Concord to Andover, on life in Grand Manan, congratulates TSE on Nobel Prize, resident at 35 School Street, Andover, summers between Boston, Woods Hole, New Bedford and Grand Manan, recounts journey to Grand Manan, takes The Cocktail Party personally, then repents of doing so, post-Christmas stay in New Bedford, reports on Cocktail Party's opening, summers between Chocorua and Campobello, tours westward to California during summer holiday, attends British Drama League summer school, holidays in Grand Manan, asks TSE for occasional poem, week in the Virgin Islands, summers between Mount Desert and California, spends holidays in New Bedford, recuperates in New Bedford, returns, briefly to Chipping Campden, Eleanor Hinkley reports on, writes to EVE, sends EVE photograph of TSE, makes tour of Scandinavia, approaches TSE on Smith's behalf, which approach TSE declines, writes to TSE on GCF's death, moves back to Concord, pays visit to Seattle, reacts to TSE's death, writes to EVE, meets EVE, dies, appearance and characteristics, her shapely neck, TSE's memory for certain of her old dresses, particularly four dresses, which TSE then describes, TSE begs EH to describe her clothing, in silk, autumn 1930, costumed in a 'Titian wig', EH encouraged to gain weight, EH encouraged to tan, her Jantzen suit, TSE begs a slip of hair from, her gold-and-green tea gown, her Praxitelean nose, EH congratulated on 'perm', EH refuses TSE lock of hair, her voice, Guardsman dress, as a Botticelli Madonna, her hands, recommended skin-cream, 'new goldy dress', TSE inquires after, in TSE's dreams, 'new and nuder' swimsuit demanded, her black dress/red jacket outfit, dressed in blue, in charming black dress, her sense of humour, her New England conscience, the famous apricot dress, her hair, various dresses, EH's idea of new dresses, EH hair cut in the new style, blue dress worn following masque, as actor, as Olivia in Twelfth Night, in the Cambridge Dramatic club, as Roxane in Cyrano in 1915/16, as Judith Bliss in Hay Fever, EH considers giving up for teaching, in the 'stunt show' with TSE, as Beatrice, TSE hopes, in The Footlight Club, in Berkeley Square, in The Yellow Jacket, EH praised over Ruth Draper, under Ellen van Volkenburg, cast as an octogenarian, in The Old Lady Shows Her Medals, TSE speculates as to her future in, and teaching, as Lady Bracknell, TSE begs to write part for, in The Footlight Club, potentially in summer theatre company, as the Duchess of Devonshire, potentially in The Family Reunion, Cambridge Dramatic club reunion, The Wingless Victory, in masque with TSE, in a Van Druten play, as Lodovico Sforza, in play by Laurence Housman, as Madame Arcati in Blithe Spirit, with Paul Stephenson, in Kind Lady, joins the Dorset Players, as director ('producer'), La Locandiera, Lady Gregory's The Dragon, Dust of the Road, Comus, possibly temporarily at St. Catherine's, Va., chorus work at Smith, Electra, Quality Street, The Merchant of Venice, Dear Brutus, Christmas play, Richard II, Hay Fever, Christmas pantomime, The Dorset Players, a reading of Outward Bound, Molnár's The Swan, Dulcy, The School for Scandal, Fanny and the Servant Problem, Dear Brutus again, Twelfth Night, Prunella, Christmas play, Antigone, The Merry Wives of Windsor, As You Like It, The Admirable Crichton, Holy Night, The Tempest, as teacher, EH lectures on 'Modern British Verse', as a career, at Milwaukee-Downer College, Mich., at Simmons College, Boston, EH considers post at Scripps, which she accepts, arrives at Scripps, establishes drama workshop at Scripps, EH lectures on TSE, EH's advice that TSE lecture less slowly, as described by Scripps student, and being admired by students, TSE sees her teaching as a kind of acting, requests year's leave from Scripps, resigns position at Scripps, declares intention to teach again, possibly, temporarily, at St. Catherine's, Va., possibly at Smith, post at St. Catherine's rejected, appointed to position at Smith, is installed at Smith, reappointed with pay-rise, reappointed again for two years, her work at Smith, unsettled at Smith, in time of war, insecure over job at Smith, from which EH takes 'sabbatical', let go by Smith, takes job at Concord Academy, appointed to post at Bennett Junior College, Millbrook, appointment to permanent Concord position, EH thinks of giving up, lectures on Family Reunion, her work at Concord Academy, resignation from Concord Academy, takes permanent position at Abbot, EH admits to being sheltered by, retirement from Abbot, according to Abbot Academy tribute, birthdays, presents and love-tokens, EH's birthday compared to TSE's, TSE sends Terry–Shaw correspondence for EH's birthday, EH sends TSE pomme purée, present from EH, flowers for EH's birthday arrive too soon, EH wearing TSE's ring, two rings bought for EH, EH bought typewriter, TSE 'cables' EH roses, TSE consults EH over potential present, TSE's second 'sapphire' ring for, EH refits new rings from TSE, TSE receives flowers for Christmas, EH given 'powder box' for Christmas, EH's present to TSE goes amiss, missing present (calendar) explained, EH left cigarettes by TSE, EH gives TSE cigarette case, TSE necklace-hunting for EH, pearls suggested for EH, EH bought sapphire bracelet, EH gives TSE a signet ring, EH bought blue-gray scarf, EH gives TSE silk handkerchiefs, TSE has signet ring engraved, further ring sought for EH, EH with TSE on his birthday, EH gives TSE initialled leather portfolio, TSE given ashtrays and matchbox, furs sought for EH, EH gives TSE stool, roses sent to EH on birthday, TSE given diary and hairbrush box, TSE given rosary and print, EH buys TSE towel rails, TSE receives diary for Christmas, 1810 ring bought for EH, EH buys TSE various ties, war means no flowers, EH's lapis lazuli ring, TSE neglects to cable EH, EH knits socks for TSE, which turn out large, EH sends TSE 'snowflake' socks, EH remembers TSE's birthday with reference to Shakespeare, TSE sent marmalade and liver-paste, EH writes poem for TSE's birthday, EH sends TSE provisions, EH loses sapphire from ring, diamond circlet given to EH in 1939, EH gives TSE socks for Christmas, TSE gives EH 'evening bag', EH unthanked for Christmas present, correspondence with TSE, TSE petitions EH to bestow on the Bodleian, TSE exalts as authoritative, TSE envisions as reading-group, the only writing TSE enjoys, TSE as Cyrano to EH's Roxane, TSE's dependence on, TSE's nights spent planning, TSE rereads with pleasure, the strain of interruption, switches to Air Mail, TSE on his decision to renew, TSE marks first anniversary of, keeps TSE sane, TSE hopes to telephone, TSE wishes to maintain when in America, EH would withhold from the Bodleian bequest, from which TSE tries to dissuade her, TSE violently dependent on, TSE begs EH that it be preserved, less exciting to EH than at first, TSE's horror of sounding sermonic, if such a correspondence were profitable, and TSE's respectful reticence, EH suggests entrusting to Willard Thorp, but subsequently explains she meant Margaret Thorp, EH's to do with as pleases, and the prospect of TSE writing every night, TSE still rereads with pleasure, excites TSE too much to write smoothly, compared with talking, phone call finally arranged, which finally takes place, EH importuned to write more, TSE promises three letters a week, EH refuses more than one, a solitude within a solitude, EH switches to typewriter, which TSE offers to buy, observed weekly by EH's students, flatters TSE most when EH writes undutifully, TSE's dread of EH rationing, TSE's efforts to moderate himself within, TSE imagines the unsealing of, TSE offers to cease, a place to vent one's feelings, TSE rebuked for 'intolerance' within, EH learns to type, hinders TSE from work, TSE on life before, third anniversary marked, thwarted by TSE's self-loathing, TSE doubts having pursued, restraints on TSE's ardour lifted, more constrained by day, TSE worries about burdening EH with, worth TSE getting home early for, by day, by night, TSE specially treasures recent 'love letters', more delightful since EH's reciprocation, and TSE's diminished ardour, switches to transatlantic airmail, constrained by war, opened by censor, and Shamley Green post-office, TSE apologises for, EH free to dispose of, within limits, particularly constrained by EH's letter of 1939, and the experience of delay, TSE equivocates on preserving, varied with airgraph, again, EH's to do with as she pleases, still intended for Bodleian, TSE chastened for short cables, TSE's letters 'undemonstrative and impersonal', post-war frequency, being and not being loving by letter, EH asks TSE to reduce, TSE criticised for following monthly injunction, TSE rebuked for impersonality, EH formally bequeaths to Princeton, TSE unfussed as to repository, TSE reiterates 50-year prohibition, TSE's worries as to future appearances, EH promises Princeton her statement on, promises letters with ten-year seal, attempts to shorten TSE's moratorium, which TSE refuses, which forces EH to relent, TSE encouraged to return EH's letters, EH deposits further material with Princeton, EH makes 'recording' for Princeton, EH renews plea to shorten moratorium, and is again refused, TSE destroys EH's letters, TSE repents of severe letter, which EH never receives, EH suspects TSE of destroying her letters, EH instructs Princeton to discard 'recording', EH ultimately respects TSE's wishes, EH on TSE's destruction of her letters, family, her father, her childhood compared to TSE's, TSE desires family history of, EH encouraged to keep younger company, EH's unity with parents, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH photographed with parents, and EH's obligations to, finances, health, physical and mental, admits to breakdown, TSE compares 'nightmares' with, TSE's desire to nurse, suffers neuritis, then neuralgia, recommended suncream, suffers arthritis, suffers with sinuses, her teeth, experiences insomnia, suffers 'hives', suffers crisis body and soul, feels depressed over Christmas, suffers neuralgia, suffers intestinal flu, has shingles, admitted to hospital, convalesces on Grand Manan, recuperates in Washington, Conn., photographs of, as a child, Edith Sitwellesque photograph, in 18th-century costume, in 18th-century French costume, in broad-brimmed 'picture' hat, TSE buys Kodak, in deck-chair, eating sandwich, in a car, 'the Beautiful one', which TSE has enlarged for his dressing-table, painful, because taken in the 'interim', in bacchanalian pose, 'Semitic', among young people, set 'Elizabeth' giggling, Diana Mannersesque, are mnemonic aids to TSE, kneeling beside can of flowers, TSE's favourite, with ordinarily sized hands, smoking in chair, as child with big ears, taken on TSE's arrival in Claremont, in Jane Austen fashion, in unfamiliar jacket, taken in autumn, with mother and father, as a child, in TSE's note-case throughout Blitz, in Wingless Victory, as child, in gold frame, in familiar jacket, taken with Boerre, surround TSE at Shamley, with baby, in a group, of EH's portrait, in sailor suit, all inadequate, carrying lamp, with Rag Doll, at Campobello, reading, Henry James, Letters from Baron Friedrich von Hügel to a Niece, All Passion Spent, Bubu de Montparnasse, F&F thriller, Eyeless in Gaza, Dante, Hopkins and Roosevelt, Henry Irving: The Actor and His World, relationship with TSE, TSE's first acquaintance with, its abnormality, runs to admiration from EH, and TSE's habitual reserve, its morality under examination, defended by TSE, its susceptibilities envisaged by TSE, EH admits estrangement within, and TSE's desire for intimacies, provokes sorrow and fury in TSE, confided to the Perkinses, Miss Ware and Father Underhill, TSE's chance to be frivolous, and the prospect of TSE's Harvard year, TSE dates first meeting to 1905, whereas EH dates to 1915, TSE's terror of renewing in California, teaches TSE true companionship, runs to a 'kiss', as perpetual progress and revelation, EH offered manumission from, if TSE were not married, seems more real for TSE's American year, TSE's reasons against marrying, TSE fears having misled over, EH again offered manumission from, EH writes to Ada concerning, EH blames TSE for his ardour, then apologises for blaming TSE, leads to unhappiness in EH, possible drain on EH's health, its perceived inequalities, pity and gratitude would corrupt, TSE conditionally promises marriage, TSE sees as an imposition on EH, potentially richer for meeting TSE's friends, EH 'kisses' TSE, EH rests head on TSE's shoulder, EH strokes TSE's face, as consubstantial union, TSE's love finally reciprocated, mutual embraces, EH kissed on the right foot, TSE favoured with birthday kiss, exhausting, should proceed without hope of marriage, TSE again regrets misleading EH, as one of mutual dependence, its unsatisfactions, its seasonal rhythm, but for VHE would be marriage, EH seeks post-war clarity on, and the prospect of VHE's death, following VHE's death, TSE reflects on the deterioration of, TSE reflects generally on, and men and women generally, according to Theresa Eliot, EH reflects on, since TSE discounted marriage, had TSE behaved differently in 1914, its new dispensation, source of mutual anguish, apropos of TSE's second marriage, EH's marriage regret, EH recoils from publicising, TSE re-evaluates, EH writes to EVE about, religious beliefs and practices, claims experience of 'vision', admits suffering spiritual crisis, goes on retreat, and TSE's definition of sainthood, compared to TSE's, professes to resent the Church, makes retreat to Senexet, the issue of communion, the possibility of confirmation, source of worry to EH, confronts TSE on religious differences, TSE on her 'Christian spirit', fears TSE considers her damned, TSE pointedly refrains from criticising, unclear to TSE, TSE's love for, and their conversation in Eccleston Square, declared, in 1915, and TSE's desire to be EH's spiritual possession, source of serenity to TSE, the strangeness of not broadcasting, first felt in 1913, recognised by TSE the night of Tristan und Isolde, TSE's reasons for not declaring in 1913, what TSE said instead of declaring, a pain of sorts, unconfided to friends, not immune to jealousy of EH's male friends, its passion tempered by religion, and the torment of resignation, defiled by possessiveness and anger, and a particular journey back from Pasadena, in light of California stay, increases his desire to quarrel with EH, TSE doubts decision to declare, eternally unconditional, shows TSE true meaning of tenderness, defined by TSE, violent, clarified and strengthened by Chipping Campden reunion, disquiets EH, obstructive to EH loving another, TSE initially relieved to find unrequited, queered by inexperience, TSE repents of over-prizing, startles TSE, like 'a burglar', strengthened and deepened, irrespective of physical beauty, finally reciprocated, ideal when unreciprocated, relieved only by poetry, as against love's travesties, as expressed in Burnt Norton, over time, apparently undimmed but dwarfed by war, and the first time TSE spoke EH's name, thwarted by question of divorce, EH questions, now better adjusted to reality, argument over communion challenges, would run to jealously but not marriage, as expressed in 1914 on Chestnut Hill, TSE's names, nicknames and terms of endearment for, 'Lady', 'Dove', 'My saint', 'Bienaimée', TSE's reason for calling her 'Dove', 'Isolde', 'My Lady', 'Emilie', 'Princess', 'Lady bird', 'Birdie', 'riperaspberrymouth', 'Emily of Fire & Violence', 'Bouche-de-Fraise', 'Bouch-de-Framboise', 'Raspberrymouth', not 'Wendy', 'Nightingale', 'Mocking Bird', 'Love', 'My true love', 'my Self', 'Emilia' and Shelley's Epipsychidion, 'my Own', 'Girl', 'Western Star', 'Darling', 'My Life', 'My Lamb', 'Beloved my Female', 'My own Woman', writings, an article on 'Weimar', letter to The Times about King's jubilee, account of communion at Beaulieu, EH asks to write about TSE, review of La Machine infernale, review of Dangerous Corner, a note for S. P. C. A., an 'epigram', 'Actors at Alnwick', 'An Etching', 'The Giocanda Smile', 'The Personal Equation in Spoken English', 'A Play from Both Sides of the Footlights', 'Summer Sunshine: A Memory of Miss Minna Hall', 'They flash upon the inward eye',
Perkinses, the, likely to be interested in An Adventure, compared to Mary Ware, enjoyable dinner at the Ludlow with, take to TSE, TSE desires parental intimacy with, their dinner-guests dismissed by TSE, who repents of seeming ingratitude, TSE confides separation plans to, too polite, questioned as companions for EH, offered English introductions, entertained on arrival in London, seek residence in Chichester, given introduction to G. C. Coulton, take house at Chipping Camden, as Chipping Campden hosts, given introduction to Bishop Bell, TSE entertains at Oxford and Cambridge Club, TSE's private opinion on, TSE encourages EH's independence from, their repressive influence on EH, buy TSE gloves for Christmas, sent Lapsang Souchong on arrival in England, invite TSE to Campden, move apartment, anticipate 1938 English summer, descend on EH in Northampton, and EH's wartime return to America, temporarily homeless, enfeebled, EH forwards TSE teenage letter to, their health, which is a burden, approve EH's permanent Abbot position,
travels, trips and plans, EH's 1930 trip to England, EH's proposed 1931 England visit, called off, EH's 1932 summer holidays, the Eliots' Derby Day excursion, related, the Eliots' July 1932 Hindhead visit, the Eliots' August 1932 Eastbourne holiday, described, TSE's 1932–3 year in America, Norton Professorship offered to TSE, and the prospect of reunion with EH, which TSE refuses to see as decisive, which angers EH, who writes and destroys a response, TSE's financial imperatives, TSE's itinerary, and the question of discretion, opportunity for adventurous lecture-tours, TSE speculates on attendant feelings, TSE on the voyage over, TSE reflects on, TSE's return from, the Eliot family's Randolph holiday, TSE's 1933 westward tour to Scripps, proposed to EH, and TSE's need to lecture, possibly via St. Louis, TSE's itinerary, possible stopover in Seattle, a shameful source of happiness, still a happy thought, described by Havens and others, TSE reflects on, TSE's return from, TSE wonders at after-effect on EH, EH urged to reflect honestly on, Ada on, and a conversation about divorce, in EH's recollection, possible EH 1933 summer in England, TSE's 1933 Faber summer holiday, set for mid-August, postponed, rearranged, TSE buys summer outfits for, described, TSE's 1933 tour of Scotland, possible itinerary, Morley's preparations for, described for EH, TSE's 1933 trip to Paris, mooted, described, EH's 1934–5 year in Europe, TSE delighted at the prospect, attempts to coordinate with TSE's 1934 summer plans, the Perkinses due in Chipping Camden, EH's itinerary, TSE's initial weekend at Chipping Campden, TSE books rooms in Lechlade, TSE visits Campden again with family, and again alone, which visit TSE reflects on, TSE's plans to entertain EH en route to Europe, EH's continental itinerary, VHE and propriety inhibit pre-Paris arrangements, L'Escargot lunch, weekend in Sussex for EH's birthday, possible London tea-party, second lunch at L'Escargot, EH and TSE's November excursions, a month which TSE reflects happily on, EH's summer 1935 plans, EH departs England, EH in Florence, arrived in Rome, TSE coordinating with EH's return, TSE recommends Siena, EH returns to Florence, EH sails for Riviera, EH returns from France, L'Escargot lunch on EH's return, EH sails for Guernsey, May 1935, EH's June 1935 London sortie, TSE attends Dr Perkins's birthday, TSE's July 1935 Campden week, TSE offers to fund EH in London, where EH joins Jeanie McPherrin, TSE's Campden birthday weekend, prospect of EH spending month at Blomfield Terrace, Thorp theatre outing, TSE's 6–8 September Campden weekend, EH staying at 19 Rosary Gardens, EH to Campden for 15–17 November, EH sails for Boston, EH and TSE's final farewell, TSE and EH's final weeks in London, their excursion to Finchampstead, TSE reflects on, excursion to Greenwich, EH reflects on the final weeks of, TSE's 1934 Faber summer holiday, described, TSE's dream of Cairo, TSE's invitation to Finland, palmed off on Robert Nichols, TSE's 1935 tour of Scotland, proposed by Blake, attempts to coordinate with EH, TSE's itinerary, TSE's 1935 Faber summer holiday, TSE writes from, described, TSE's 1936 visit to Ireland, TSE's itinerary, recounted, TSE's spring/summer 1936 trip to Paris, first contemplated, date fixed, Morleys invited, TSE's itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1936 Faber summer holiday, TSE writes from, TSE's 1936 American trip, spring arrival dependent on New York Murder, if not spring, then autumn, possible excursions, autumn better for seeing EH, and possible Princeton offer, and possible Smith visit, efforts to coordinate with EH, passage on Alaunia booked, TSE's itinerary, Murder to pay for, coordinating with Eliot Randolph holiday, the moment of parting from EH, TSE's birthday during, TSE reflects on, TSE's 1937 tour of Scotland, itinerary, recounted, the Morley–Eliot 1937 trip to Salzburg, contemplated, itinerary, EH receives postcard from, described, as relayed to OM, EH's 1937 summer in England, and Mrs Seaverns, EH accompanies TSE to Edinburgh, itinerary coordinated with EH, dinner at L'Escargot, TSE's 10–11 July Campden visit, TSE's 17–22 July Campden visit, TSE's 21 August Campden visit, EH travels to Yorkshire, TSE reminisces about, TSE's 1937 Faber summer holiday, TSE reports from, leaves TSE sunburnt, TSE's 1938 trip to Lisbon, outlined to EH, TSE advised on, travel arrangements, the voyage out, described, EH's 1938 summer in England, and whether EH should spend it at Campden, EH's arrival confirmed, TSE's July Campden visit, EH's late-July London stay, TSE's 5–21 August Campden fortnight, TSE's 3–6 September Campden visit, EH's September London stay, TSE reflects on, TSE's 1938 Faber summer holiday, TSE's preparations for, TSE reports from, possible EH England Christmas 1938 visit, possible TSE 1939 visit to America, mooted for spring, complicated by Marion and Dodo's trip, shifted to autumn, threatened by war, made impossible, EH's 1939 England visit, TSE's efforts to coordinate with, threatened by war, complicated by Marion's arrival, EH's itinerary, EH's initial London stay, TSE's 7–20 July Campden visit, TSE's 22–30 August Campden visit, TSE's 2–4 September Campden visit, EH again London, EH and TSE's parting moments, in TSE's memory, memory vitiated by EH's subsequent letter, TSE's 1939 Faber summer holiday, TSE writes from, possible wartime transatlantic crossings, contingencies, in case of EH being ill, TSE's reasons for and against, and TSE's New York proposition, following invasion Denmark and Norway, impossible for TSE unless official, TSE's desire to remain in England, TSE's reasons for and against accepting lectureship, given Ada's impending death, TSE's abortive 1940 Italian mission, possible but confidential, lectures prepared for, and the prospect of seeing EP, might include Paris, itinerary, in jeopardy, final preparations for, cancelled, TSE's 1940 visit to Dublin, approved by Foreign Office, in national interest, itinerary, recounted, involves TSE's first plane-journey, TSE's 1940 Faber summer holiday, TSE reports from, TSE's 1941 Faber summer holiday, Kipling and fishing-rod packed for, TSE reports from, TSE's 1941 Northern tour, proposed by the Christendom group, arranged with Demant, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1942 British Council mission to Sweden, TSE makes cryptic allusion to, as recounted to EH, as recounted to JDH, return leg in London, as war-work, TSE's 1942 New Forest holiday, described, TSE's 1942 week in Scotland, recounted, TSE's abortive 1942 Iceland mission, TSE's 1943 trip to Edinburgh, recounted, TSE's abortive 1943 Iceland mission, TSE's 1943 New Forest holiday, TSE's 1944 trip to Edinburgh, TSE's abortive 1944 North Africa mission, TSE's May 1945 trip to Paris, described, TSE's June 1945 trip to Paris, recounted, possible post-war American visit, and Henry's impending death, ideally ancillary to work, possibly as F&F's representative, waits on TSE's health and Carlyle Mansions, TSE's 1945 September fortnight in Lee, described, TSE's 1945 Christmas in Lee, described, TSE's 1946 summer in America, date for passage fixed, paperwork for, TSE's itinerary, its aftermath, recounted, TSE's 1947 summer in America, dependent on lecture engagements, TSE seeks to bring forward, Henry's condition brings further forward, set for April, itinerary, EH reflects on, TSE's scheduled December 1947 visit to Marseilles and Rome, itinerary, TSE's preparations for, dreaded, Roman leg described by Roger Hinks, EH's hypothetical March 1948 visit to England, TSE's postponed 1948 trip to Aix, itinerary, recounted, home via Paris, TSE's 1948 trip to America, itinerary, TSE's visit to EH in Andover, disrupted by Nobel Prize, TSE's 1948 Nobel Prize visit to Stockholm, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1949 family motor-tour of Scotland, described, TSE's October–November 1949 trip to Germany, possible itinerary, preparations for, final itinerary, TSE's account of, the return via Belgium, TSE's January 1950 voyage to South Africa, all but fixed, itinerary, described by TSE, recounted by Faber, EH's 1950 summer in England, TSE books EH's hotel room for, TSE's efforts to coordinate with EH's movements, EH in Campden, TSE reports to Aunt Edith on, TSE's 1950 visit to America, and TSE's possible Chicago post, the Chicago leg, November itinerary, TSE's spring 1951 trip to Spain, itinerary, recounted, TSE's September 1951 Geneva stay, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1951 British Council mission to Paris, recounted, TSE's second 1951 British Council mission to Paris, recounted, TSE's 1952 visit to Rennes and the Riviera, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1952 visit to America, itinerary, efforts to coordinate with EH's summer, TSE on meeting with EH, TSE's 1952 rest cure in Switzerland, TSE's 1953 visit to St. Louis and America, set for June, to include fortnight in Cambridge, itinerary, EH's 1953 trip to England, EH's Alnwick plans, TSE books hotel for EH, and EH's ticket to Confidential Clerk, TSE's 1953 visit to Geneva, TSE's 1953–4 trip to South Africa, itinerary, described, arrival described to JDH, GCF on, TSE's 1954 Geneva rest cure, Geneva preferred to Paris, TSE's deferred 1955 visit to Hamburg, prospect inspires reluctance in TSE, proposed for spring 1955, dreaded, TSE now returned from, TSE's 1955 visit to America, and contingent speaking engagements, foreshortened, itinerary, Washington described, TSE's return from, TSE's 1955 Geneva rest cure, TSE's 1956 visit to America, passage fixed for April, itinerary, TSE in the midst of, TSE reflects on, TSE's 1956 Geneva rest cure, itinerary, recounted, illness during, EH's 1957 visit to England, TSE and EVE invited to Campden, TSE reciprocates with London invitation, but EH leaves England abruptly, which TSE consults Eleanor Hinkley over, who duly explains, TSE and EVE's 1958 trip to America, as rumoured to EH, EH's 1959 tour of Scandinavia, funded by bequest from cousin, TSE and EVE's 1959 trip to America, TSE and EVE's 1963 trip to America,