[No surviving envelope]
Youtravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4EH sails for Boston;f1 will have finished dinner on the boat, and I wonder how you will occupy yourself between now and 1 o’clock. You will have had my second letter to the hotel, andflowers and floralilies-of-the-valley;c1delivered to EH on the Samaria;a1 I hope my letter and my flowers and my telegram on the boat, and there will be nothing more until you are in Boston; and it is hard for me to think that you will not be reading this letter at breakfast tomorrow. When you read it, you will be back in Boston in Brimmer Street; and I wonder very much how Boston and Brimmer Street will affect you after so long an absence. Your letter arrived for breakfast this morning. O glory. My dear, I cannot write a better letter than this that I have from you; it should make any man proud and happy to get such a letter. That we can expand so fully and fearlessly with each other, that we can want each other so much and express our want so freely, that we are finally so completely at ease in each other’s presence and each other’s thoughts, seems to me so wonderful and holy a thing that I can hardly yet grasp it. In my three letters to Liverpool, I was eager to express my feelings concentrated in the moment of parting, as well as I could, without looking backward or forward. Now that you are further separated physically by being on a boat in the Mersey, though not yet under weigh, I think back and see a little of the past three weeks. I begin to recall, bit by bit, the various lovely moments, not isolated from each other, but all fitting in to their place. The lasttravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4EH and TSE's final farewell;f2 evening that revealed so much more fully our understanding of each other’s feelings, our complete faith in and acceptance of each other, and the last morning. I watched you go down the street, turning and waving, and I waved too, but my handkerchief was blue and I fear you did not see it wave. You disappeared behind the branches of a tree, then crossed diagonally at the corner of Aban Court, and I saw you till you disappeared behind another tree: then I put on my coat and left as quickly as I could so as not to be left behind in the room long after you had left it. I was, and am, so thankful to you for running back again into the room after you had started down stairs.
NowMorley, Frank VigorTSE and EH's elected emergency go-between;e7, I agree that I must have someone here to let you know of any sudden accident to me, preventing me from writing, and I think Morley is the most suitable, being about as trustworthy as anyone, and in a position to know if anything is wrong with me. I have had no opportunity to see him alone to-day, but I will arrange with him on Monday. And you must do the same – with someone who will really know when to wire to me to come to you. If either of us should fall very ill, then we must be together.
YourHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9as consubstantial union;e3 letter made me tremble with ecstasy, in the realisation of spiritual union. YearsHale, EmilyTSE's love for;x2and TSE's desire to be EH's spiritual possession;a4 ago, I told you of my delight in feeling that I belonged to you: but I did not know then how much more re-creative is the feeling of belonging to another person, when that person belongs to one also. It is both the thought that I am responsible to you for all my actions, and the thought that you are in me here and I am in you at the foot of Beacon Hill. A queer feeling of being in two places at once!
O my love, the next time we’re in England together, we shall meet at a dock, whether Liverpool or Southampton, and will journey up to town together holding each other’s hands, at least, whether the compartment is full of tourists or not. I could not bear to see you off at a seaport, but the delight of meeting you there! And when I come to Boston, where shall we meet? Will you come to my boat or train, or had we rather not face each other first in public? Itravels, trips and plansTSE's 1936 American trip;c4;a1 wonder just at what spot we shall meet, next autumn or sooner.
I am so glad of all the days we spent together, each intensified in joy. Eachtravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4TSE and EH's final weeks in London;f3 seemed perfect in itself, yetEnglandWhipsnade, Bedfordshire;j8EH and TSE visit;a1 when I compare that early journey to Whipsnade, with the smoky afternoon in the City, andEnglandLondon;h1Dulwich hallowed in memory;c8 that again with Dulwich, andtravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4their excursion to Finchampstead;f4 thatEnglandFinchampstead, Berkshire;f1visited by TSE and EH;a1 finally with Finchampton, the closest together of all, I see a developing pattern. Sotravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4TSE's July 1935 Campden week;e1 with each evening, beginning on that summer star-evening under the yew-tree, andtravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4TSE's Campden birthday weekend;e4 thenHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE favoured with birthday kiss;e7 my birthday evening when we were very shy and you suggested that I should give you a birthday kiss, and then your birthday, and then the evenings ending in the last evening – how it developed and blossomed.
I am thinking of you now on the boat, and shall each day, imagining the voyage – I am annoyed with myself for not having asked you to send me a very short deferred cable on arrival, so that I might know that you are safe, but shall cable to you: and it is strange to think that you will read this sitting in Brimmer Street. I think of your birthday night, at the moment when I first kissed you on the neck, and you curved your head over me as if you wanted me to kiss you there, and it seemed to me for the moment as if my kiss meant more to you than any of my few kisses had ever meant to you before; and then I think of the later evenings when I knew you liked me to kiss you; and of that delicious moment when I held you in my lap and we both fell asleep for a moment and I waked myself up so as not to lose the enjoyment of our sleeping.
I love the thought of you writing a few lines each day to me, while you are on the boat. Now your head is on my shoulder and I am watching the beautiful closing and unclosing of your eyes (candid eyes). I can’t yet write about common things and everyday events and practical matters. This must end for tonight. I shall have written two or three times more before you are on land. ICheetham, Revd Ericoffers prayers for EH's passage;b6 have asked Cheetham to include you among those for whom on Sunday he asks for prayers, as one ‘travelling by sea’. Good night my own, my own true love, my dear my darling.
O myHale, Emilybirthdays, presents and love-tokens;w2EH gives TSE a signet ring;c4 beautiful ring, how proud I am to have it round my finger, and never to take it off between now and my Emilie.
Your letter is so lovely, I have to read it again and again and I shall not wholly grasp it for days yet.
I shall kiss the elephant; and when you seal your letters, please kiss the seal.
4.RevdCheetham, Revd Eric Eric Cheetham (1892–1957): vicar of St Stephen’s Church, Gloucester Road, London, 1929–56 – ‘a fine ecclesiastical showman’, as E. W. F. Tomlin dubbed him. TSE’s landlord and friend at presbytery-houses in S. Kensington, 1934–9. See Letters 7, 34–8.
4.FrankMorley, Frank Vigor Vigor Morley (1899–1980), American publisher and author; a founding editor of F&F, 1929–39: see Biographical Register.