[Grace Toll Hall, Scripps College, Claremont]
T. S.Eliot
EmilyHale
TS
Faber & Faber Ltd
19 November 1933
Dearest Lady,
Your letter of the 4th November was awaiting me on my return from Paris. I had hoped that I might find one. I will postpone the diary of my travels for another letter; it is too trivial to be included in this. IHale, Emilybirthdays, presents and love-tokens;w2TSE 'cables' EH roses;a9 amflowers and floraroses;c7sent to EH on birthday;a2 glad the roses arrived in time: roses were, as you may have guessed, only my second choice, and I am a little disappointed.
I am very grateful to you for your letter. For a long time now, ever since January, my mind has been tormented by certain doubts and worries. Your letter does not exactly relieve them, but it releases them; it seems to me that the time has come to say something of them.
You may have some clue from a doubt which I expressed or rather hinted at in a recent letter. I feel still more strongly now, that I must have cut a pretty poor figure in your eyes all this time – at best, a timid and irresolute person. IHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE's reasons against marrying;c5 should like you to know, once and for all, that there is nothing in this world that I would not give up without hesitation if I had even the slightest hope that you would accept me as your husband. It gives me a very odd feeling to write that word. IHale, EmilyTSE's love for;x2and the torment of resignation;b6 am thankful that it is only in occasional flashes that I have the slightest real perception of what that state would be like; for the most part, with work and distraction, never having known happiness I can get on pretty well without it. The notion of my needing any urging, to take any step which might possibly lead to that end, seems to me so grotesque that (I say again) I wonder what manner of man I must have seemed to you to be. Words can only serve up to a point, but indeed I have preferred – though I may have let myself go a very little now and then – not to try to make you realise my full feelings – I should not go on living if I realised them continuously myself.
Heretravels, trips and plansTSE's 1933 westward tour to Scripps;a8and a conversation about divorce;b5 is what I tried to say on New Year’s Eve – thoughEliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood)the possibility of divorcing;f2in common and canon law;a5 even up to then I swear I took for granted that you knew it already. TheChristianitydivorce;b5in church law;a3 position of the Church is completely uncompromising about the indissolubility of marriage. FranklyEliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood)the possibility of divorcing;f2against what TSE symbolises;a2, I doubt whether the future of my own single soul would be enough to weigh with me, though theoretically it ought to. IChristianityChristendom;b2TSE on his prominence within;a2 think that my responsibility to society counts more with me. I am – I can say it without the slightest vanity – the most conspicuous layman in the Church to-day, and my defection would be all the more significant because I was not born into it. I should of course be excommunicate, I should no longer take any part in Church affairs, and if I ever raised my voice to speak for the Faith or to attack paganism I should meet only with ridicule and contempt. I should not mind that, I believe, I am used to being attacked or misrepresented; but I could not bear the thought of others being weakened by my example, or of the triumph of the enemies of Christianity; the thought that I not only could do no further good, but that I had perhaps done irreparable harm. IEliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood)marriage to;e6TSE on entering into;a1 admit that my case is a little different from most; and at the time of my ‘marriage’ I was not a Christian and was married in a Registry Office. But such exceptions are not made, and cannot be made.
This is the greatest renunciation to make, that I could make. Neither power, nor fame, nor money not public opinion seems to me of any value.
To be quite frank in my confessions, I must not try to dramatise myself or set up as a hero! How can I be quite sure that even these motives would be strong enough to maintain my purpose, if I did not know that divorce was legally impossible? To put it quite briefly, I have no grounds for divorce; and to be divorced I should have to provide grounds – the only grounds in this country is adultery. Many men provide these either by living openly with the person they are going to marry after the divorce is granted, or by hiring a woman to simulate adultery by spending the night in a hotel. But for them there must be something that I should not have: the consent of the wife to bring a divorce suit. That I should never get. The consent has to be assured, and yet it cannot be legally given; for if it can be shown – and it is the business of the King’s Proctor to show it – that there is an understanding between husband and wife for her to divorce him, before any offence is actually committed, then that is ‘collusion’ and the divorce is not granted.
All these things I thought I made clear to you: but I did not, evidently. And up to this year I assumed – quite unjustifiably – that you knew them already. And this leads me to my second trouble, which is not relieved.
ItHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE fears having misled over;c6 has struck me that it may seem to you that all this time I have been deceiving you, and establishing a relation of ‘friendship’ under false pretences. It has struck me that if you had known what you know now you would have hesitated to correspond with me, or to allow me to come to see you in California. IfHale, EmilyTSE's love for;x2TSE doubts decision to declare;c2 there was such a misunderstanding between us, I would to God that I had never revealed my feelings to you as I did three years ago; if there was such a misunderstanding, it will torment me to my death. At least I can hope to convince you that I would never have done such a thing deliberately: even though that be little help. When I first wrote to you, it was an overwhelming impulse which perhaps I ought to have suppressed. But I had no intention of altering your feelings towards me; I meant only to leave it at that; I hoped, certainly that the tribute of seventeen years anguish and regret might give you some little, merited and legitimate pleasure, even if you were completely indifferent about me. And the whole time – even in delirium of excitement and newness, I thought that I was merely dealing with a fait accompli, (whatever the fait was) – that whether you married someone else or not, my letters would not have made the difference.
So you see I have been very unhappy and uneasy. I should like you to write in reply as frankly as you can: I mean to say to what extent you have condemned me and do condemn me. I am very very grateful to you, Emily dear, for all that you have given me in your letters. No woman in the world could have given me anything comparable; you have never disappointed my conception of you, and I am happy in the knowledge that my conception of you is not an ‘idealisation’. ThereHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9EH again offered manumission from;c7 never has been, and never will be, anyone else. If you judge me unfavourably, I shall be sure that you are right. But in that case, for God’s sake let me disappear from your life. MyHale, Emilycorrespondence with TSE;w3TSE offers to cease;e8 correspondence with you is the last and only thing that I have, to give up: that is for you to say.
Your devoted
Tom
IHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9EH writes to Ada concerning;c8 am glad that you wrote to Ada.1
My ink has run out, and I have no more. If anything is still puzzling or obscure, please tell me.
1.EH’s letter to Ada Sheffield has not been traced. Ada wrote to EH on 22 Oct. 1933, see above.
Christianity, and human isolation, and modern economics, Ada on TSE's personal piety, scheme for 'Pro Fide' bookshop, among the Eliot family, and beauty, its sects like different clubs, Anglo-Catholicism, TSE's conversion to, which he dates to Eccleston Square meeting, Anglican Missal sought for EH, but unfortunately out of print, discussed at Boston Theological School, and the Petrine Claims, apostolic succession, over Roman Catholicism, as refuge from VHE, and the Reformation, asceticism, discipline, rigour, the necessity for, and TSE's daily exhortation, making and breaking habits, mastering emotions and passions, as salubrious, only remedy for a prurient culture, confession and communion, more possible during Harvard year, the case for unattainable ideals, in time of war, gets TSE up before 7 o'clock, hereditary with TSE, belief, and good poetry, faced with Second World War, and conversion, antidote to TSE's skepticism, Christendom, TSE ponders the decline of, TSE on his prominence within, its ruin, the Church Visible and Invisible, and TSE's war work, the Malabar Church, prospect of total reunion within, confession, helps to objectify sin, more dreaded than dentist, harder in the morning, death and afterlife, the struggle to prepare for, consoles TSE in life, and cremation, Requiem Mass, gives meaning to life, and what makes a desirable burial place, the nature of eternal life, divorce, unrecognised by Anglo-Catholic Church, which TSE regrets, in church law, would separate TSE from Church, evil, TSE's belief in, and moral percipience, guilt, and the New England conscience, hell, TSE's 1910 vision of, and damnation, according to TSE, liturgy, TSE's weekly minimum, Mass of the Pre-sanctified, Requiem Mass versus Mass of Good Friday, and whether to serve at Mass, Imposition of Ashes, at Christmas, High Mass over Mattins, aversion to Low Church Mattins, Roman service in Wayland, Tenebrae, in country parish church, as guest at Kelham, remarkable sermon, over Christmas, Tenebrae and Family Reunion, during Holy Week, Mass of Charles King and Martyr, love, loving one's neighbour, marriage, TSE's need for privacy within, mysticism and transcendence, interpenetration of souls, intimations of life's 'pattern', 'doubleness', arrived at through reconciliation, orthodoxy, only remedy for contemporary culture, and pagans, sets TSE at odds with modernity, necessarily trinitarian, 'Christian' defined, iniquities of liberal theology, and creed, authority, Transubstantiation, TSE disclaims 'self-centredness' in maintaining, politics, the Church and social change, how denomination maps onto, need for working-class priests, church leaders against totalitarianism and Nazism, Christianity versus Fascism and Communism, Papal Encyclical against Nazi Germany, the 'Dividend morality', Presbyterianism, TSE quips on the meanness of, Quakerism, resignation, reconciliation, peace, TSE's love allows for, 'peace that passeth all understanding', the struggle to maintain, following separation from VHE, retreat and solitude, EH at Senexet, the need for, a need increasing with age, and TSE's mother, Roman Catholicism, TSE's counter-factual denomination, Rome, sacraments, Holy Communion, marriage, sainthood, TSE's idea of, the paradoxes of, susceptible of different sins, sins, vices, faults, how to invigilate, the sense of sin, the sinner's condition, bound up with the virtues, as a way to virtue, TSE's self-appraisal, when humility shades into, when unselfishness shades into, among saints, proportionate to spiritual progress, daydreaming, despair, lust, pride, perfection-seeking pride, spiritual progress and direction, TSE's crisis of 1910–11, EH's crisis, versus automatism, TSE's sense of, towards self-knowledge, in EH's case, as personal regeneration, temptation, to action/busyness, the Church Year, Advent, Christmas, dreaded, happily over, TSE rebuked for bah-humbugging, church trumps family during, season of irreligion, thoughts of EH during, unsettling, fatiguing, in wartime, Easter preferred to, Ash Wednesday, Lent, season for meditation and reading, prompts thoughts of EH, Lady Day, Holy Week, its intensity, arduous, preserved from public engagements, exhausting but refreshing, excitingly austere, Easter, better observed than Christmas, missed through illness, Unitarianism, the Eliots' as against EH's, the prospect of spiritual revival within, as personified by TSE's grandfather, regards the Bible as literature, as against Catholicism, divides EH from TSE, and whether Jesus believed himself divine, according to Dr Perkins, in England as against America, over-dependent on preachers' personality, TSE's wish that EH convert from, outside TSE's definition of 'Christian', the issue of communion, baptism, impossibly various, virtues heavenly and capital, bound up with the vices, better reached by way of sin, charity, towards others, in Bubu, TSE's intentness on, delusions of, as against tolerance, chastity, celibacy, beneath humility, TSE lacks vocation for, faith, and doubt, hope, a duty, TSE's struggle for, humility, distinguished from humiliation, comes as relief, greatest of the virtues, propinquitous to humour, not an Eliot virtue, opposed to timidity, danger of pride in, is endless, TSE criticised for overdoing, theatre a lesson in, most difficult of the virtues, possessed by EH, possessed by EH to a fault, TSE compares himself to EH in, the paradox of, distinguished from inferiority, self-discovery teaches, possessed by Dr Perkins, patience, recommended to EH, its foundations, possessed by Uncle John, purity, distinguished from purification, temperance, with alcohol, beneath humility,
Eliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood), takes a liking to EH, EH urged not to blame, relations with Charles Buckle, unbearable to holiday with, takes to Margaret Thorp, accompanies TSE to Poetry Bookshop, and 57 Chester Terrace, on TSE's religion, TSE declines invitations excluding, her driving, hosts various writers to tea, considers flat in Gordon Square, arranges large tea-party, as theatregoer, declares desire to make confession, taken to Eastbourne, recalls the Eliots' visit to Rodmell, Alida Monro reports on, in Alida Monro's opinion, falls out with Lucy Thayer, meets TSE for last time at solicitors, seeks TSE's whereabouts, haunts TSE in London, such that he forgoes the theatre, news of, inquires after Man Ray portrait, harries F&F office, on Mosley Albert Hall rally, dies, her funeral, Requiem Mass for, Theresa remembers, marriage to, TSE on entering into, alleged affair with Bertrand Russell, sexual relations, its morbidity, TSE on his own incapacity, its torments providential on reflection, in OM's opinion, its lessons, humiliating, TSE's father's reaction, unrecognised by TSE, to outsiders, TSE reflects on, painful yet stimulating, as an act of self-rupture, drug habits, sleeping draughts, in TSE's absence, 1926 bromidia delusions, mental state, childlike, benefits from active social life, compared to EH's mother's, at the Malmaison sanatorium, and dining in public, TSE's influence on, post-separation, the prospect of institutionalising, prompts institutionalisation crisis-meeting, and TSE's departure for America, against TSE going, adjusting to the prospect, might coordinate with a return to Malmaison, in denial as to, threatens to come, from which TSE tries to dissuade her, aggrieved at being left, possible arrangements in TSE's absence, still in denial as to, TSE dreads scene of departure, possibly beneficial to VHE, TSE describes the moment of departure, separation from, TSE, for and against, out of the question, obstructed by self-deception and responsibility, reasons for not having happened, Dr Miller's opinion on, contemplated, plotted, would necessitate TSE's sequestration, TSE encouraged in his determination, Alida Monro independently suggests, communication with solicitors on, TSE describes going through with, VHE's response before and after meeting at solicitors, impasse over financial settlement, which VHE misrepresents to friends, VHE in denial over, separation deed drawn up, which is yet unsigned, delayed by death of lawyer, general impasse, financial settlement put into force, complicated by VHE renewing lease on flat, efforts to retrieve TSE's property, which is eventually recovered, financial consequences, the possibility of divorcing, TSE's objections to, against what TSE symbolises, likened to Newman's conversion, in common and canon law, in Ada's opinion, how TSE's attitude might seem, would involve permanent division from Church, inimical to future TSE's happiness, her death, and Theresa on TSE remarrying, TSE's shifting response to, formerly wished for, EH reflects on,
see also Eliots, the T. S.
flowers and flora, aconite, at Shamley, imagined in Cambridge, azaleas, summon memories of EH, bamboo, imagined by TSE in California, bluebells, in Shamley Wood, bourgainvillea, imagined by TSE in California, cactus, imagined by TSE in California, carnations, from Chipping Campden, catkins, at Shamley, celandine, spotted at Shamley, chrysanthemums, TSE prefers to roses, cowslips, at Shamley, crocuses, at Shamley, imagined in Cambridge, gladioli, sent to EH in TSE's name, hawthorn ('may'), summons memories of EH, heliotrope, enclosed in letter from Christine Galitzi, hibiscus, imagined by TSE in California, laburnum, summons memories of EH, lilacs, in Russell and Woburn Squares, summon memories of EH, lilies-of-the-valley, delivered to EH on the Samaria, Michaelmas daisies, around Pike's Farm, palms, imagined by TSE in California, primroses, and the English spring, at Shamley, pussy-willow, at Shamley, rhododendrons, summon memories of EH, roses, in autumn, sent to EH on birthday, from Chipping Campden, left by EH in TSE's Grenville rooms, their emotionally disturbing scent, given to TSE as EH's parting gift, for EH's birthday, snowdrops, at Shamley, sweet peas, and EH's performance in Hay Fever, effect of their scent on TSE, no longer painful to TSE, delivered to EH, TSE buys himself at Gloucester Road, cheer TSE up, the essence of summer, sent to Aunt Edith, violets, EH gives TSE as buttonhole, emotionally disturbing, left by departing EH, wisteria, summons memories of EH, Wood anemone, at Shamley, yew, sprig picked for TSE by EH, zinnias, TSE prefers over roses,
Hale, Emily, visits the Eliots for tea, returns to Boston, likened to TSE's mother, TSE identifies with her 'reserve', encouraged to write for periodicals, visits West Rindge, summers in Seattle, presents herself as cossetted, blames herself for an unfulfilled life, returns to Boston, consulted over TSE's Norton Professorship, holidays in Castine, vacations in New Bedford, TSE fears accident befalling, travels to stay in Seattle, Frank Morley on Ada on, arrives in California, brought to tears by music, goes horse-riding, baited over how to boil an egg, TSE passes old school of, takes motoring holiday via San Francisco, summers in Seattle, TSE composes squib for, takes TSE's hand in dream, returned to California, TSE sends Harvard Vocarium record, holidays in West Rindge, returns to Boston before embarking for England, arrives in England, to travel to Paris, returns to London, feels inferior to 'brilliant society', invited to Sweeney Agonistes rehearsal, attends Richard II with TSE, attends Sweeney Agonistes, takes TSE to Gielgud's Hamlet, taken to see Stravinsky conducting, leaves for Italy, takes tea at OM's before leaving, mistaken for TSE's sister, returns to Florence, sails for the Riviera, returns from France, returns to Chipping Campden, to Guernsey with Jeanie McPherrin, taken to Henry IV on return, shares open taxi with TSE through Parks and Whitehall, and TSE attend The Gondoliers, visit to the Russian ballet, invited to Murder in Canterbury, and TSE attend 1066 And All That, taken to Tovaritch, and Morleys set for ballet, which she excuses herself from, criticised for flower-arranging, and TSE walk in the Cotswolds, feels inferior to Margaret Thorp, and TSE theatre-going with Thorps, taken to Timon of Athens, taken to Peer Gynt, visited at Campden for TSE's birthday, takes lodgings in Oxford, lodges at 19 Rosary Gardens, watches TSE read to Student Christian Movement, and TSE visit Kenwood House, dines with the Maritains, describes tea with the Woolfs, returns to America, visits Ada on Boston homecoming, possible career-move into politics, pays winter visit to Rindge, and Eleanor Hinkley attend New York Murder, moves to 154 Riverway with Perkinses, considers volunteering for charity, living at 5 Clement Circle, holidays in Cataumet, returns abruptly to Cambridge, recuperates in New Hampshire, moves to 240 Crescent St., Northampton, Mass., lectures at Concord, returns to Brimmer Street, returns to Boston during vacation, sails for England, in residence at Chipping Campden, travels to Yorkshire, returned to Chipping Campden, returns and moves to 22 Paradise Road, Northampton, Mass., spends Thanksgiving in Boston, stays at Hotel Lincolnshire with the Perkinses, vacations at New Bedford, visits New York, holidays in Charleston, as patron of school, returns to Northampton, sails for England, day at Windsor with TSE, fortnight at Campden with TSE, at Campden with TSE again, returns to America with 'Boerre', ordered to stay in America in case of war, given Family Reunion draft with her comments, encouraged to write drama criticism, vacations in New Bedford, advises TSE against Tewkesbury choruses, holidays with the Havenses, sails for England, at Chipping Campden, stays with the Adam Smiths in Scotland, returns to America with Perkinses, safely returned, sent copy of TSE's daily prayers, sent first CNL, sends TSE selected American plays, holidays in New Bedford, spends Easter in Harwichport, holiday destinations, holidays in Cape Cod, returns to the Perkinses at 90 Commonwealth Avenue, stays with Elsmiths in Woods Hole, holidays on Grand Manan, visits Perkinses in Boston, returns to 90 Commonwealth Avenue, holidays in Madison, Wisc., travels on to Maine, holidays on Grand Manan, holidays in Bangor, Maine, as president of S. P. C. A., spends Christmas holiday in New Bedford, holidays in Woods Hole, loans out her Eliotana, removes from Smith to the Perkinses, spends time in Maine, repairs to New Bedford, spends time in Tryon, N. C., returned to Boston, spends three days in New York, shares details of will, holidays on Grand Manan, leaves TSE portrait in event of predeceasing him, late summer in New Brunswick, vacations in New Bedford, repairs to New Bedford, resident in Millbrook, takes short holiday at 'Bleak House', holidays on Grand Manan, visits Woods Hole, visits New Bedford, holidays in New Bedford, spends holiday at Sylvia Knowles's, holidays in Dorset, Vt., holidays briefly in Farmington, holidaying on Grand Manan, TSE seeks Trojan Women translation for, moves to 9 Lexington Road, gives Christmas readings, congratulates TSE on OM, urges TSE not to despair at honours, spends Easter in Boston, race-relations and the WPA, sings Bach's B Minor Mass, removes from Concord to Andover, on life in Grand Manan, congratulates TSE on Nobel Prize, resident at 35 School Street, Andover, summers between Boston, Woods Hole, New Bedford and Grand Manan, recounts journey to Grand Manan, takes The Cocktail Party personally, then repents of doing so, post-Christmas stay in New Bedford, reports on Cocktail Party's opening, summers between Chocorua and Campobello, tours westward to California during summer holiday, attends British Drama League summer school, holidays in Grand Manan, asks TSE for occasional poem, week in the Virgin Islands, summers between Mount Desert and California, spends holidays in New Bedford, recuperates in New Bedford, returns, briefly to Chipping Campden, Eleanor Hinkley reports on, writes to EVE, sends EVE photograph of TSE, makes tour of Scandinavia, approaches TSE on Smith's behalf, which approach TSE declines, writes to TSE on GCF's death, moves back to Concord, pays visit to Seattle, reacts to TSE's death, writes to EVE, meets EVE, dies, appearance and characteristics, her shapely neck, TSE's memory for certain of her old dresses, particularly four dresses, which TSE then describes, TSE begs EH to describe her clothing, in silk, autumn 1930, costumed in a 'Titian wig', EH encouraged to gain weight, EH encouraged to tan, her Jantzen suit, TSE begs a slip of hair from, her gold-and-green tea gown, her Praxitelean nose, EH congratulated on 'perm', EH refuses TSE lock of hair, her voice, Guardsman dress, as a Botticelli Madonna, her hands, recommended skin-cream, 'new goldy dress', TSE inquires after, in TSE's dreams, 'new and nuder' swimsuit demanded, her black dress/red jacket outfit, dressed in blue, in charming black dress, her sense of humour, her New England conscience, the famous apricot dress, her hair, various dresses, EH's idea of new dresses, EH hair cut in the new style, blue dress worn following masque, as actor, as Olivia in Twelfth Night, in the Cambridge Dramatic club, as Roxane in Cyrano in 1915/16, as Judith Bliss in Hay Fever, EH considers giving up for teaching, in the 'stunt show' with TSE, as Beatrice, TSE hopes, in The Footlight Club, in Berkeley Square, in The Yellow Jacket, EH praised over Ruth Draper, under Ellen van Volkenburg, cast as an octogenarian, in The Old Lady Shows Her Medals, TSE speculates as to her future in, and teaching, as Lady Bracknell, TSE begs to write part for, in The Footlight Club, potentially in summer theatre company, as the Duchess of Devonshire, potentially in The Family Reunion, Cambridge Dramatic club reunion, The Wingless Victory, in masque with TSE, in a Van Druten play, as Lodovico Sforza, in play by Laurence Housman, as Madame Arcati in Blithe Spirit, with Paul Stephenson, in Kind Lady, joins the Dorset Players, as director ('producer'), La Locandiera, Lady Gregory's The Dragon, Dust of the Road, Comus, possibly temporarily at St. Catherine's, Va., chorus work at Smith, Electra, Quality Street, The Merchant of Venice, Dear Brutus, Christmas play, Richard II, Hay Fever, Christmas pantomime, The Dorset Players, a reading of Outward Bound, Molnár's The Swan, Dulcy, The School for Scandal, Fanny and the Servant Problem, Dear Brutus again, Twelfth Night, Prunella, Christmas play, Antigone, The Merry Wives of Windsor, As You Like It, The Admirable Crichton, Holy Night, The Tempest, as teacher, EH lectures on 'Modern British Verse', as a career, at Milwaukee-Downer College, Mich., at Simmons College, Boston, EH considers post at Scripps, which she accepts, arrives at Scripps, establishes drama workshop at Scripps, EH lectures on TSE, EH's advice that TSE lecture less slowly, as described by Scripps student, and being admired by students, TSE sees her teaching as a kind of acting, requests year's leave from Scripps, resigns position at Scripps, declares intention to teach again, possibly, temporarily, at St. Catherine's, Va., possibly at Smith, post at St. Catherine's rejected, appointed to position at Smith, is installed at Smith, reappointed with pay-rise, reappointed again for two years, her work at Smith, unsettled at Smith, in time of war, insecure over job at Smith, from which EH takes 'sabbatical', let go by Smith, takes job at Concord Academy, appointed to post at Bennett Junior College, Millbrook, appointment to permanent Concord position, EH thinks of giving up, lectures on Family Reunion, her work at Concord Academy, resignation from Concord Academy, takes permanent position at Abbot, EH admits to being sheltered by, retirement from Abbot, according to Abbot Academy tribute, birthdays, presents and love-tokens, EH's birthday compared to TSE's, TSE sends Terry–Shaw correspondence for EH's birthday, EH sends TSE pomme purée, present from EH, flowers for EH's birthday arrive too soon, EH wearing TSE's ring, two rings bought for EH, EH bought typewriter, TSE 'cables' EH roses, TSE consults EH over potential present, TSE's second 'sapphire' ring for, EH refits new rings from TSE, TSE receives flowers for Christmas, EH given 'powder box' for Christmas, EH's present to TSE goes amiss, missing present (calendar) explained, EH left cigarettes by TSE, EH gives TSE cigarette case, TSE necklace-hunting for EH, pearls suggested for EH, EH bought sapphire bracelet, EH gives TSE a signet ring, EH bought blue-gray scarf, EH gives TSE silk handkerchiefs, TSE has signet ring engraved, further ring sought for EH, EH with TSE on his birthday, EH gives TSE initialled leather portfolio, TSE given ashtrays and matchbox, furs sought for EH, EH gives TSE stool, roses sent to EH on birthday, TSE given diary and hairbrush box, TSE given rosary and print, EH buys TSE towel rails, TSE receives diary for Christmas, 1810 ring bought for EH, EH buys TSE various ties, war means no flowers, EH's lapis lazuli ring, TSE neglects to cable EH, EH knits socks for TSE, which turn out large, EH sends TSE 'snowflake' socks, EH remembers TSE's birthday with reference to Shakespeare, TSE sent marmalade and liver-paste, EH writes poem for TSE's birthday, EH sends TSE provisions, EH loses sapphire from ring, diamond circlet given to EH in 1939, EH gives TSE socks for Christmas, TSE gives EH 'evening bag', EH unthanked for Christmas present, correspondence with TSE, TSE petitions EH to bestow on the Bodleian, TSE exalts as authoritative, TSE envisions as reading-group, the only writing TSE enjoys, TSE as Cyrano to EH's Roxane, TSE's dependence on, TSE's nights spent planning, TSE rereads with pleasure, the strain of interruption, switches to Air Mail, TSE on his decision to renew, TSE marks first anniversary of, keeps TSE sane, TSE hopes to telephone, TSE wishes to maintain when in America, EH would withhold from the Bodleian bequest, from which TSE tries to dissuade her, TSE violently dependent on, TSE begs EH that it be preserved, less exciting to EH than at first, TSE's horror of sounding sermonic, if such a correspondence were profitable, and TSE's respectful reticence, EH suggests entrusting to Willard Thorp, but subsequently explains she meant Margaret Thorp, EH's to do with as pleases, and the prospect of TSE writing every night, TSE still rereads with pleasure, excites TSE too much to write smoothly, compared with talking, phone call finally arranged, which finally takes place, EH importuned to write more, TSE promises three letters a week, EH refuses more than one, a solitude within a solitude, EH switches to typewriter, which TSE offers to buy, observed weekly by EH's students, flatters TSE most when EH writes undutifully, TSE's dread of EH rationing, TSE's efforts to moderate himself within, TSE imagines the unsealing of, TSE offers to cease, a place to vent one's feelings, TSE rebuked for 'intolerance' within, EH learns to type, hinders TSE from work, TSE on life before, third anniversary marked, thwarted by TSE's self-loathing, TSE doubts having pursued, restraints on TSE's ardour lifted, more constrained by day, TSE worries about burdening EH with, worth TSE getting home early for, by day, by night, TSE specially treasures recent 'love letters', more delightful since EH's reciprocation, and TSE's diminished ardour, switches to transatlantic airmail, constrained by war, opened by censor, and Shamley Green post-office, TSE apologises for, EH free to dispose of, within limits, particularly constrained by EH's letter of 1939, and the experience of delay, TSE equivocates on preserving, varied with airgraph, again, EH's to do with as she pleases, still intended for Bodleian, TSE chastened for short cables, TSE's letters 'undemonstrative and impersonal', post-war frequency, being and not being loving by letter, EH asks TSE to reduce, TSE criticised for following monthly injunction, TSE rebuked for impersonality, EH formally bequeaths to Princeton, TSE unfussed as to repository, TSE reiterates 50-year prohibition, TSE's worries as to future appearances, EH promises Princeton her statement on, promises letters with ten-year seal, attempts to shorten TSE's moratorium, which TSE refuses, which forces EH to relent, TSE encouraged to return EH's letters, EH deposits further material with Princeton, EH makes 'recording' for Princeton, EH renews plea to shorten moratorium, and is again refused, TSE destroys EH's letters, TSE repents of severe letter, which EH never receives, EH suspects TSE of destroying her letters, EH instructs Princeton to discard 'recording', EH ultimately respects TSE's wishes, EH on TSE's destruction of her letters, family, her father, her childhood compared to TSE's, TSE desires family history of, EH encouraged to keep younger company, EH's unity with parents, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH photographed with parents, and EH's obligations to, finances, health, physical and mental, admits to breakdown, TSE compares 'nightmares' with, TSE's desire to nurse, suffers neuritis, then neuralgia, recommended suncream, suffers arthritis, suffers with sinuses, her teeth, experiences insomnia, suffers 'hives', suffers crisis body and soul, feels depressed over Christmas, suffers neuralgia, suffers intestinal flu, has shingles, admitted to hospital, convalesces on Grand Manan, recuperates in Washington, Conn., photographs of, as a child, Edith Sitwellesque photograph, in 18th-century costume, in 18th-century French costume, in broad-brimmed 'picture' hat, TSE buys Kodak, in deck-chair, eating sandwich, in a car, 'the Beautiful one', which TSE has enlarged for his dressing-table, painful, because taken in the 'interim', in bacchanalian pose, 'Semitic', among young people, set 'Elizabeth' giggling, Diana Mannersesque, are mnemonic aids to TSE, kneeling beside can of flowers, TSE's favourite, with ordinarily sized hands, smoking in chair, as child with big ears, taken on TSE's arrival in Claremont, in Jane Austen fashion, in unfamiliar jacket, taken in autumn, with mother and father, as a child, in TSE's note-case throughout Blitz, in Wingless Victory, as child, in gold frame, in familiar jacket, taken with Boerre, surround TSE at Shamley, with baby, in a group, of EH's portrait, in sailor suit, all inadequate, carrying lamp, with Rag Doll, at Campobello, reading, Henry James, Letters from Baron Friedrich von Hügel to a Niece, All Passion Spent, Bubu de Montparnasse, F&F thriller, Eyeless in Gaza, Dante, Hopkins and Roosevelt, Henry Irving: The Actor and His World, relationship with TSE, TSE's first acquaintance with, its abnormality, runs to admiration from EH, and TSE's habitual reserve, its morality under examination, defended by TSE, its susceptibilities envisaged by TSE, EH admits estrangement within, and TSE's desire for intimacies, provokes sorrow and fury in TSE, confided to the Perkinses, Miss Ware and Father Underhill, TSE's chance to be frivolous, and the prospect of TSE's Harvard year, TSE dates first meeting to 1905, whereas EH dates to 1915, TSE's terror of renewing in California, teaches TSE true companionship, runs to a 'kiss', as perpetual progress and revelation, EH offered manumission from, if TSE were not married, seems more real for TSE's American year, TSE's reasons against marrying, TSE fears having misled over, EH again offered manumission from, EH writes to Ada concerning, EH blames TSE for his ardour, then apologises for blaming TSE, leads to unhappiness in EH, possible drain on EH's health, its perceived inequalities, pity and gratitude would corrupt, TSE conditionally promises marriage, TSE sees as an imposition on EH, potentially richer for meeting TSE's friends, EH 'kisses' TSE, EH rests head on TSE's shoulder, EH strokes TSE's face, as consubstantial union, TSE's love finally reciprocated, mutual embraces, EH kissed on the right foot, TSE favoured with birthday kiss, exhausting, should proceed without hope of marriage, TSE again regrets misleading EH, as one of mutual dependence, its unsatisfactions, its seasonal rhythm, but for VHE would be marriage, EH seeks post-war clarity on, and the prospect of VHE's death, following VHE's death, TSE reflects on the deterioration of, TSE reflects generally on, and men and women generally, according to Theresa Eliot, EH reflects on, since TSE discounted marriage, had TSE behaved differently in 1914, its new dispensation, source of mutual anguish, apropos of TSE's second marriage, EH's marriage regret, EH recoils from publicising, TSE re-evaluates, EH writes to EVE about, religious beliefs and practices, claims experience of 'vision', admits suffering spiritual crisis, goes on retreat, and TSE's definition of sainthood, compared to TSE's, professes to resent the Church, makes retreat to Senexet, the issue of communion, the possibility of confirmation, source of worry to EH, confronts TSE on religious differences, TSE on her 'Christian spirit', fears TSE considers her damned, TSE pointedly refrains from criticising, unclear to TSE, TSE's love for, and their conversation in Eccleston Square, declared, in 1915, and TSE's desire to be EH's spiritual possession, source of serenity to TSE, the strangeness of not broadcasting, first felt in 1913, recognised by TSE the night of Tristan und Isolde, TSE's reasons for not declaring in 1913, what TSE said instead of declaring, a pain of sorts, unconfided to friends, not immune to jealousy of EH's male friends, its passion tempered by religion, and the torment of resignation, defiled by possessiveness and anger, and a particular journey back from Pasadena, in light of California stay, increases his desire to quarrel with EH, TSE doubts decision to declare, eternally unconditional, shows TSE true meaning of tenderness, defined by TSE, violent, clarified and strengthened by Chipping Campden reunion, disquiets EH, obstructive to EH loving another, TSE initially relieved to find unrequited, queered by inexperience, TSE repents of over-prizing, startles TSE, like 'a burglar', strengthened and deepened, irrespective of physical beauty, finally reciprocated, ideal when unreciprocated, relieved only by poetry, as against love's travesties, as expressed in Burnt Norton, over time, apparently undimmed but dwarfed by war, and the first time TSE spoke EH's name, thwarted by question of divorce, EH questions, now better adjusted to reality, argument over communion challenges, would run to jealously but not marriage, as expressed in 1914 on Chestnut Hill, TSE's names, nicknames and terms of endearment for, 'Lady', 'Dove', 'My saint', 'Bienaimée', TSE's reason for calling her 'Dove', 'Isolde', 'My Lady', 'Emilie', 'Princess', 'Lady bird', 'Birdie', 'riperaspberrymouth', 'Emily of Fire & Violence', 'Bouche-de-Fraise', 'Bouch-de-Framboise', 'Raspberrymouth', not 'Wendy', 'Nightingale', 'Mocking Bird', 'Love', 'My true love', 'my Self', 'Emilia' and Shelley's Epipsychidion, 'my Own', 'Girl', 'Western Star', 'Darling', 'My Life', 'My Lamb', 'Beloved my Female', 'My own Woman', writings, an article on 'Weimar', letter to The Times about King's jubilee, account of communion at Beaulieu, EH asks to write about TSE, review of La Machine infernale, review of Dangerous Corner, a note for S. P. C. A., an 'epigram', 'Actors at Alnwick', 'An Etching', 'The Giocanda Smile', 'The Personal Equation in Spoken English', 'A Play from Both Sides of the Footlights', 'Summer Sunshine: A Memory of Miss Minna Hall', 'They flash upon the inward eye',
travels, trips and plans, EH's 1930 trip to England, EH's proposed 1931 England visit, called off, EH's 1932 summer holidays, the Eliots' Derby Day excursion, related, the Eliots' July 1932 Hindhead visit, the Eliots' August 1932 Eastbourne holiday, described, TSE's 1932–3 year in America, Norton Professorship offered to TSE, and the prospect of reunion with EH, which TSE refuses to see as decisive, which angers EH, who writes and destroys a response, TSE's financial imperatives, TSE's itinerary, and the question of discretion, opportunity for adventurous lecture-tours, TSE speculates on attendant feelings, TSE on the voyage over, TSE reflects on, TSE's return from, the Eliot family's Randolph holiday, TSE's 1933 westward tour to Scripps, proposed to EH, and TSE's need to lecture, possibly via St. Louis, TSE's itinerary, possible stopover in Seattle, a shameful source of happiness, still a happy thought, described by Havens and others, TSE reflects on, TSE's return from, TSE wonders at after-effect on EH, EH urged to reflect honestly on, Ada on, and a conversation about divorce, in EH's recollection, possible EH 1933 summer in England, TSE's 1933 Faber summer holiday, set for mid-August, postponed, rearranged, TSE buys summer outfits for, described, TSE's 1933 tour of Scotland, possible itinerary, Morley's preparations for, described for EH, TSE's 1933 trip to Paris, mooted, described, EH's 1934–5 year in Europe, TSE delighted at the prospect, attempts to coordinate with TSE's 1934 summer plans, the Perkinses due in Chipping Camden, EH's itinerary, TSE's initial weekend at Chipping Campden, TSE books rooms in Lechlade, TSE visits Campden again with family, and again alone, which visit TSE reflects on, TSE's plans to entertain EH en route to Europe, EH's continental itinerary, VHE and propriety inhibit pre-Paris arrangements, L'Escargot lunch, weekend in Sussex for EH's birthday, possible London tea-party, second lunch at L'Escargot, EH and TSE's November excursions, a month which TSE reflects happily on, EH's summer 1935 plans, EH departs England, EH in Florence, arrived in Rome, TSE coordinating with EH's return, TSE recommends Siena, EH returns to Florence, EH sails for Riviera, EH returns from France, L'Escargot lunch on EH's return, EH sails for Guernsey, May 1935, EH's June 1935 London sortie, TSE attends Dr Perkins's birthday, TSE's July 1935 Campden week, TSE offers to fund EH in London, where EH joins Jeanie McPherrin, TSE's Campden birthday weekend, prospect of EH spending month at Blomfield Terrace, Thorp theatre outing, TSE's 6–8 September Campden weekend, EH staying at 19 Rosary Gardens, EH to Campden for 15–17 November, EH sails for Boston, EH and TSE's final farewell, TSE and EH's final weeks in London, their excursion to Finchampstead, TSE reflects on, excursion to Greenwich, EH reflects on the final weeks of, TSE's 1934 Faber summer holiday, described, TSE's dream of Cairo, TSE's invitation to Finland, palmed off on Robert Nichols, TSE's 1935 tour of Scotland, proposed by Blake, attempts to coordinate with EH, TSE's itinerary, TSE's 1935 Faber summer holiday, TSE writes from, described, TSE's 1936 visit to Ireland, TSE's itinerary, recounted, TSE's spring/summer 1936 trip to Paris, first contemplated, date fixed, Morleys invited, TSE's itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1936 Faber summer holiday, TSE writes from, TSE's 1936 American trip, spring arrival dependent on New York Murder, if not spring, then autumn, possible excursions, autumn better for seeing EH, and possible Princeton offer, and possible Smith visit, efforts to coordinate with EH, passage on Alaunia booked, TSE's itinerary, Murder to pay for, coordinating with Eliot Randolph holiday, the moment of parting from EH, TSE's birthday during, TSE reflects on, TSE's 1937 tour of Scotland, itinerary, recounted, the Morley–Eliot 1937 trip to Salzburg, contemplated, itinerary, EH receives postcard from, described, as relayed to OM, EH's 1937 summer in England, and Mrs Seaverns, EH accompanies TSE to Edinburgh, itinerary coordinated with EH, dinner at L'Escargot, TSE's 10–11 July Campden visit, TSE's 17–22 July Campden visit, TSE's 21 August Campden visit, EH travels to Yorkshire, TSE reminisces about, TSE's 1937 Faber summer holiday, TSE reports from, leaves TSE sunburnt, TSE's 1938 trip to Lisbon, outlined to EH, TSE advised on, travel arrangements, the voyage out, described, EH's 1938 summer in England, and whether EH should spend it at Campden, EH's arrival confirmed, TSE's July Campden visit, EH's late-July London stay, TSE's 5–21 August Campden fortnight, TSE's 3–6 September Campden visit, EH's September London stay, TSE reflects on, TSE's 1938 Faber summer holiday, TSE's preparations for, TSE reports from, possible EH England Christmas 1938 visit, possible TSE 1939 visit to America, mooted for spring, complicated by Marion and Dodo's trip, shifted to autumn, threatened by war, made impossible, EH's 1939 England visit, TSE's efforts to coordinate with, threatened by war, complicated by Marion's arrival, EH's itinerary, EH's initial London stay, TSE's 7–20 July Campden visit, TSE's 22–30 August Campden visit, TSE's 2–4 September Campden visit, EH again London, EH and TSE's parting moments, in TSE's memory, memory vitiated by EH's subsequent letter, TSE's 1939 Faber summer holiday, TSE writes from, possible wartime transatlantic crossings, contingencies, in case of EH being ill, TSE's reasons for and against, and TSE's New York proposition, following invasion Denmark and Norway, impossible for TSE unless official, TSE's desire to remain in England, TSE's reasons for and against accepting lectureship, given Ada's impending death, TSE's abortive 1940 Italian mission, possible but confidential, lectures prepared for, and the prospect of seeing EP, might include Paris, itinerary, in jeopardy, final preparations for, cancelled, TSE's 1940 visit to Dublin, approved by Foreign Office, in national interest, itinerary, recounted, involves TSE's first plane-journey, TSE's 1940 Faber summer holiday, TSE reports from, TSE's 1941 Faber summer holiday, Kipling and fishing-rod packed for, TSE reports from, TSE's 1941 Northern tour, proposed by the Christendom group, arranged with Demant, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1942 British Council mission to Sweden, TSE makes cryptic allusion to, as recounted to EH, as recounted to JDH, return leg in London, as war-work, TSE's 1942 New Forest holiday, described, TSE's 1942 week in Scotland, recounted, TSE's abortive 1942 Iceland mission, TSE's 1943 trip to Edinburgh, recounted, TSE's abortive 1943 Iceland mission, TSE's 1943 New Forest holiday, TSE's 1944 trip to Edinburgh, TSE's abortive 1944 North Africa mission, TSE's May 1945 trip to Paris, described, TSE's June 1945 trip to Paris, recounted, possible post-war American visit, and Henry's impending death, ideally ancillary to work, possibly as F&F's representative, waits on TSE's health and Carlyle Mansions, TSE's 1945 September fortnight in Lee, described, TSE's 1945 Christmas in Lee, described, TSE's 1946 summer in America, date for passage fixed, paperwork for, TSE's itinerary, its aftermath, recounted, TSE's 1947 summer in America, dependent on lecture engagements, TSE seeks to bring forward, Henry's condition brings further forward, set for April, itinerary, EH reflects on, TSE's scheduled December 1947 visit to Marseilles and Rome, itinerary, TSE's preparations for, dreaded, Roman leg described by Roger Hinks, EH's hypothetical March 1948 visit to England, TSE's postponed 1948 trip to Aix, itinerary, recounted, home via Paris, TSE's 1948 trip to America, itinerary, TSE's visit to EH in Andover, disrupted by Nobel Prize, TSE's 1948 Nobel Prize visit to Stockholm, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1949 family motor-tour of Scotland, described, TSE's October–November 1949 trip to Germany, possible itinerary, preparations for, final itinerary, TSE's account of, the return via Belgium, TSE's January 1950 voyage to South Africa, all but fixed, itinerary, described by TSE, recounted by Faber, EH's 1950 summer in England, TSE books EH's hotel room for, TSE's efforts to coordinate with EH's movements, EH in Campden, TSE reports to Aunt Edith on, TSE's 1950 visit to America, and TSE's possible Chicago post, the Chicago leg, November itinerary, TSE's spring 1951 trip to Spain, itinerary, recounted, TSE's September 1951 Geneva stay, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1951 British Council mission to Paris, recounted, TSE's second 1951 British Council mission to Paris, recounted, TSE's 1952 visit to Rennes and the Riviera, itinerary, recounted, TSE's 1952 visit to America, itinerary, efforts to coordinate with EH's summer, TSE on meeting with EH, TSE's 1952 rest cure in Switzerland, TSE's 1953 visit to St. Louis and America, set for June, to include fortnight in Cambridge, itinerary, EH's 1953 trip to England, EH's Alnwick plans, TSE books hotel for EH, and EH's ticket to Confidential Clerk, TSE's 1953 visit to Geneva, TSE's 1953–4 trip to South Africa, itinerary, described, arrival described to JDH, GCF on, TSE's 1954 Geneva rest cure, Geneva preferred to Paris, TSE's deferred 1955 visit to Hamburg, prospect inspires reluctance in TSE, proposed for spring 1955, dreaded, TSE now returned from, TSE's 1955 visit to America, and contingent speaking engagements, foreshortened, itinerary, Washington described, TSE's return from, TSE's 1955 Geneva rest cure, TSE's 1956 visit to America, passage fixed for April, itinerary, TSE in the midst of, TSE reflects on, TSE's 1956 Geneva rest cure, itinerary, recounted, illness during, EH's 1957 visit to England, TSE and EVE invited to Campden, TSE reciprocates with London invitation, but EH leaves England abruptly, which TSE consults Eleanor Hinkley over, who duly explains, TSE and EVE's 1958 trip to America, as rumoured to EH, EH's 1959 tour of Scandinavia, funded by bequest from cousin, TSE and EVE's 1959 trip to America, TSE and EVE's 1963 trip to America,