[No surviving envelope]

JUNE 24. Your letter of the 19th was a very dear one, but I must insist that in some respects you are not a satisfactory correspondent. To begin with a small point, you never indicated where Betty Lou’s book was to be sent, so I had perforce to address it to Scripps, with Please Forward on it. I hope she gets it, if not I will send a copy from London. SecondHale, EmilyTSE fears accident befalling;b5, you have added to my worries by saying airily that you are motoring from Portland to Seattle, which appears to be a journey of two days or so, without saying whether anyone accompanies you. I, and I think Mrs. Perkins, were under the impression that you were going to Seattle all the way by boat; and you know my apprehensions over your taking long journeys by car alone. This comes at a time, unfortunately, at which I have no address to communicate with you, and when I was not expecting to hear from you. I curse myself for not getting from Mrs. Perkins your exact address with the Normans, but I somehow hoped that I should find it in a letter from you. Surely it is not asking too much of you, to want to be kept free at least from practical anxieties about risks etc. I remember the address as Rolling Bay, but do not know whether ‘near Seattle’ is good enough. And by the time I reach land the Perkins’s will have left Boston. So the best I can do is to wait until the 8th and send them a reply-cable to Seattle.

ISmith, Isabel Fothergill;a2 have another cause for worry in your allusion to Dean Smith. Please don’t think I want to intrude on your privacies ever – but if you cannot tell me more about such difficulties why tell me anything? You should know that what you have said is enough to make me anxious, especiallyStephenson, Martha Tucker Mazyck;a2 as you should remember that thereScripps College, Claremontits suspicious characters;d5 were two persons at Scripps of whom I was suspicious: Mrs. Stephenson and Dean Smith. If your reticence in this instance was merely pressure of time – then you can let me know more during the summer – I only want to know whether it was anything weakening your tenure (supposing that you should want and need to continue at Scripps after the second year, which I hope not). Will it be more comfortable for you when President Jaqua returns or not? Do not let passage of time, or the rest of this letter, make you think that these questions need no answer. You see your ‘petty bothers’ as you call them, are giving me more anxiety at the moment than my ‘big issues’. Now I shall be uneasy until the middle of July.

Theretravels, trips and plansTSE's 1932–3 year in America;a7TSE's return from;b5 is no use posting a letter until I get to the other side, so I made no attempt to write from Montreal. I am very comfortable on board, thanks to my friend Mr. Cos, Publicity Manager of the Cunard Lines, who got me a four berth cabin to myself, where I can type, and last night I found a plate of fruit beside my bed. ButUniversity Club of Montrealdinner of poets at;a1 to have his good services I dined in Montreal at the University Club (I wonder how many University and Faculty Clubs I have dined at) with Montreal intelligentsia. AllBowman, Louise Morey;a1 Poets. And Poetesses. Mrs. Bowman is the premier poet of Montreal.1 They sent aboard a library of French Canadian poetry for me to peruse. IAmericaversus Canadian and colonial society;b1 should judge that Colonial society is provincial in a curiously different way from American; nearer to England by birth – mostly first or second generation out, but equally remote in actuality and with no local tradition established. They do not talk so loud as Americans. I must try to fix the differences, but have very little to go upon.

IScotlandthe Scottish;a8dominate life on Laetitia;a1 haveEnglandthe English;c1a relief from the Scottish;b2 not heard a word of English since I came aboard. Only Scots. The vessel is Scottish, the crew is Scottish, the company is Scottish. The best adjective for some of the lasses is certainly Braw.2 A band of kilted pipers came aboard with me, and struck up I’ll be in Scotland afore ye. They have been at it, in the Tourist Third, spasmodically ever since. These Scotch jigs and reels must be very touching when you know them well, but to a Southron they are deadly monotonous. The orchestra (Jewish) plays Scotch airs at meals; I have heard Annie Laurie3 4 times already. If I get off at Liverpool I hope to escape the last dinner, when no doubt they will pipe in the Haggis. The folk at my table tell Scotch jokes the whole time; I cannot shine in such company. What a relief it will be to get among English. However, I had a thrill of satisfaction in seeing the Red Ensign flying once more.

Iappearance (TSE's)'pudding-faced';a1 am very glad you like the new photographs. I think it is less pudding than the previous. ButHale, Emilycorrespondence with TSE;w3TSE rebuked for 'intolerance' within;f1 as for intolerance – I hope you do not judge me primarily on what I say in letters. HaveHale, Emilycorrespondence with TSE;w3a place to vent one's feelings;e9 I cultivated the habit of writing just what comes into my head at the moment, only to be told that I am intolerant? People usually edit their impressions before writing or even speaking them, as so do I mostly, but [I] have tried to do the opposite in writing to you. For instance, in expressing my irritation with Henry and Theresa – they are dear people, and I am most attached to them. BesidesHinkleys, themore intolerant even than TSE;c9, there are other people more intolerant than I – the Hinkleys for instance, and with them it is not conscious or on matters of principal [sic], but simply from ignorance and other limitations. However, if I try to defend myself I dare say I shall only lose my reputation for humility, without gaining anything else.

I may have sounded quietly steady in conversation on the telephone; but I was really feverishly excited, and afraid of breaking down – and so chattered on at random; I have only the faintest idea now what either of us said. Please do not raise the question of this being our ‘last intercourse’; of course it is not; it is merely that we are quite in the dark as to when, or in what circumstances or under what conditions, we shall be in anything more than epistolary communication again. And there are a great many years ahead, you know – unless you do something reckless with a motor car; most of the time I do not like to think how many there are.

Whattravels, trips and plansTSE's 1932–3 year in America;a7TSE reflects on;b4 you say about the portrait makes me reflect upon the significance of this year to me – a significance which will reveal itself more fully, I am sure, as I resume life in London, and can contrast the present there with the past there. I think that the opportunity to be myself, to be perfectly natural with people as I never have been able to be before, will have helped to develop me, to bring me up to the stage of development which I should have reached years ago. I do feel more mature, and more able to cope with circumstances, than ever before. And now, after the period of expansion comes the period of recueillement. I should imagine that this year, and probably the previous year also, had brought you new experience to broaden and deepen your vision. How much, I am not in a position to say. LookingHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9seems more real for TSE's American year;c4 back to a year ago, it seems to me by comparison that I hardly knew you then, except by a kind of blind insight, so to speak. I have learned that understanding is an endless process; and I am still too busy learning to understand that I cannot wholly distinguish what is change and development in You from what is change and development in my understanding of you. But it is very wonderful to find that the transition from what was hardly more than blind though convinced faith to fuller knowledge and understanding, can bring only greater admiration for, and belief in, another person.

Juneappearance (TSE's)of a dissipated movie actor;a6 25. Iappearance (TSE's)of a debauched British statesman;a7 am glad that you did not see the other portraits. Among those I suppressed were one of a dissipated movie actor, one of a debauched British statesman, and one of a perfectly charming schoolboy of fifteen.

The Scots become more so as we get nearer to Glasgow. One of them (from Chicago) has broken out in kilts. He has very thin legs. His wife is short and fat, and wears a skirt of the same tartan. I fear comicality and sentiment at the Concert – there is always a concert. ThisChristianityPresbyterianism;c6TSE quips on the meanness of;a1 morning we had a Presbyterian church service. I don’t want to make a Scotch joke, but my contribution was the largest. Ireading (TSE's)detective stories;c4 havereading (TSE's)Letters of Mrs Gaskell and Charles Eliot Norton;c5 read three detective stories, and written a short review of the Gaskell-Norton letters.4 A sea voyage always has the same effect upon me – one of mental and emotional torpor. It is partly due to the influence of this mass of humanity about one, all of whom, or nearly all, seem to become completely fatuous while temporarily separated from their practical business in life. I suppose I shall begin to feel again acutely when land is sighted. Underneath, I am worrying about that motor ride from Portland to Seattle. TwobirdsHouse Sparrow ('English Sparrow');c2fellow passenger on the Laetitia;a1 accidentalbirdsAmerican Yellow warbler ('Summer Yellowbird');a2fellow passenger on the Laetitia;a1 passengers are an English sparrow and a female Summer Yellowbird. The sparrow will no doubt pick up a living in Glasgow, if he survives, but what will a Yellowbird do in Britain?

JUNE 26. Rien d’interessant à signaler. The kilted sect turns out to be the British vice-consul at Chicago. Was accosted this morning by an elderly lady who says she met me at the Merrimans, of whom she appears to be a friend: her name, Miss Neill. That meant several tours round the deck, andKrowl, Harry C.on the Laetitia;a1 a[n] introduction to a stout American (the only one on board, apparently) whose name I did not catch. He says he contributed to a volume called ‘The New Russia’, and has travelled considerably.5 This led to a cocktail before lunch, which I had to reciprocate before dinner. It is difficult to keep out of these entanglements. I am sleeping well – six or seven hours a night, and another after lunch – which tells what a state of mental and emotional lethargy I have come to. The steward says that at this rate (it has been very calm) we shd. reach Liverpool by four o’clock on Saturday afternoon, but even that does not rouse me. I suppose you are now in Portland, ready to hop off tomorrow. I have examined the Canadian Poetry Yearbook and the Posies of Robert Choquette. The French and the English Canadian poetry is equally bad. It is very much like Australian and New Zealand poetry: complete ignorance of the history of poetry and of what models to use; lackpoetryand the importance of models;b2 of the first poetic quality, which is knowing what models, at a particular time, should be imitated. I wd. gladly give several teeth (such as they are) to know about that journey to Seattle. I intendEnglandChester, Cheshire;d8;a1 to spend Sunday quietly at Chester, unless I receive a wireless from Faber to go to Glasgow or direct to Lingfield. I hope you use tinted spectacles while driving.

JUNE 27. You must not expect a single intelligent remark from me in this letter. They say that there was an iceberg this morning, but I was reading a detective story; and some whales this afternoon, but I was asleep: I sleep from 2 to 4; thengames, diversionsshuffleboard;a2 had tea, then played shuffleboard with the pertinacious elderly American tourist. I know these spells when I am no better than a dormouse: ‘How’, you would say, ‘did I ever entertain the thought that this creature had either any brains or any personality?’ and I know that there is nothing to do but give way to them. I intend to come to life again; to-day have read two detective stories and Histoire de la Litterature Canadienne. I feel sympathy with Alonzon Cinq-Mars. Poète par instinct plus encore que par l’art, il a le ton grave et léger, voluntiers melancolique, et il ècrit avec une simplicité parfois trop dépouillée, des vers qu’il veut avant tous trés denses, qui manquent parfois de grace, mais que remplit une émotion discrete et sincere.6 I imagine that the last days in Cambridge, including the oration at Milton, were extremely exhausting. You are on your way from Portland to Seattle; but where, I wonder restlessly, are you stopping tonight. It seems to me that you take a delight in doing mad things, and telling one just not enough about them when it is too late to do anything about it, or to unfortunate people who can’t do anything about it. I was grieved to hear that the Krauss’ will not be in Seattle this summer. I wonder how you will spend your time – assuming that you get there alive.

JUNEHale, Emilyhealth, physical and mental;w6recommended suncream;a6 28. I believe that these very long drives, in blazing sunlight, must be bad for the complexion. The tinted glasses will help to prevent sun wrinkles, but some lotion is desirable against roughening and toughening of the skin. Cyclax Sunburn & Salusta is what I should recommend, but I doubt whether it will be obtainable. But all I want to be sure of is that you arrive at your friends’ near Seattle.

I have seldom travelled with a less interesting company of people; but it is interesting on any voyage, to observe the gradual differentiation of a hopeless mob of people into individualities, such as they are, so that you come at least to think of them individually, and at the end their sudden disappearance into a past from which they can never be recalled. I record Col. Long and Mr. Monahan the barrister, and the American whom I have identified from the list as Mr. Harry Krowl, and I suppose in a year’s time I shall be wholly unable to remember their faces. There is no one of special interest amongst this company.

I hope that you are now with your friends, as you say, doing nothing at all. You ought to be forced to do nothing at all from time to time; you know as well as I do that you are restless and tend to find occupation when you need not.

The bagpipers turn out to have been members of the ship’s crew in disguise. They performed at the Ship’s Concert this evening. I admit that a reel, a hornpipe, a jig, and a shean-trubh look and sound exactly the same to me.

JUNE 29. Thursday. I hope by Saturday morning to be a human being again, not a mere consumer of detective stories. IMorley, Frank Vigorspirits TSE away to Surrey;b5 have had a wire from Morley telling me to disembark there, and saying that he will meet me at Euston; I dare say he means to motor me to Surrey. ButEnglandChester, Cheshire;d8TSE's plans in;a2 it seems too much to ruin his weekend in the country by bringing him up to town, so I propose to wire tomorrow morning to say that I will ring him up on Saturday night from the Queen Hotel, Chester. In Chester I propose to go to church and take a few photographs of the old town, and I can come up to London either Sunday afternoon or Monday morning as is most convenient for him. IfBird, ErnestTSE's consultations with;a2 all goes well, I shall ring up Ernest Bird from Surrey on Tuesday morning, andChild, Maurice;a1 writeDemant, Revd Vigo Auguste;a3 at once to Maurice Child7 and Victor Demant about the Albert Hall & the Oxford Summer School respectively. This letter will be completed tomorrow night, and posted from the boat. I am quite aware that as a letter it is quite worthless, and I shall write again on Tuesday or Wednesday, as soon as I am settled in at Mrs. Eames’s. Please be charitable, remember that it is a satisfaction to me to write something to you every night; and that I hope my brain will be active by the time I write next. MyKrowl, Harry C.beats TSE at shuffleboard;a2 shuffleboard champion, Mr. Harry P. Krowl, descends at Belfast. He is worried because he has broken his dental plate. There was a fancy dress ball in the tourist 3d tonight, in which I did not participate. Naturally, schottisches, polkas, and reels were the feature of the evening, and several kilts. I am praying that you may have arrived safely at Seattle. It doesn’t seem to me best to disturb Mrs. Perkins with a cable after all; if anything has gone wrong I can do nothing about it; butPike's Farm;a3 I think I shall ask you, tomorrow night, to acknowledge this diary, if only to say that you are Safe: c/o F.V. Morley, Pike’s Farm, Lingfield, Surrey.

JUNE 30. I must finish this letter off early, to catch the mail that leaves by some boat from Belfast. The pipers are at it again. I have played my last shuffleboard match with Mr. Harry K. Prowl, I mean P. Krowl, who is sitting up to get off at Belfast at 3 a.m. and worrying about his dental plate. I hate to finish this letter; it seems the last sentence in the chapter of this past year, which has been such a real and relatively happy one in my life. But we must hasten to begin the next. It will be only Tuesday or Wednesday before I write again, but there seems an abyss between this letter and the next. God give me grace to live the new life8 ahead and make the best of it, drab as it will be. And you, I wonder if you are dreading the next year again at Scripps, and the years ahead – but the future is never certain even in dreariness, and something brighter may happen to you. And I wish you might realise how very much you have brought into one life, to make life endurable for one person; if you did you would pardon and humour perhaps my fretfulness and anxiety about your safety – which may be construed as perfectly egotistical, for what should become of me if anything happened to you? You are and always will be incessantly in my thoughts and images.

I found the enclosed in my pocketbook to-day, looking for a receipt; I remember that I put it there long ago to send to you, because I really think it is the most flattering photograph (aet. 11 years) that I have ever had taken. AndHale, EmilyTSE's names, nicknames and terms of endearment for;x3'Bouch-de-Framboise';b6 now, Dear Bouch-de-Framboise, there is nothing to do but to say Goodnight.