[No surviving envelope]
T. S.Eliot
EmilyHale
TS
Faber & Faber Ltd
20 August 1934 11.1 p.m.
My dear Bird,
ToEliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood)marriage to;e6its morbidity;a4 continue. I wasted myself to such a degree, in barren unproductive years, trying to love someone whom I loathed body and soul, and during that period was of no human good to anybody, that IHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9its perceived inequalities;d4 cannot stand seeing anybody worrying about whether they feel the right way towards anybody. It is a terrible and quite useless strain. Do you think that your uncle and aunt have ever for a moment felt that you were not fond enough of them, or that they were not getting an adequate return for what they gave? One makes ones confession for sins in thought, word and deed,1 not for feeling – one does not confess as a sin the mere being oneself. One must not resent oneself. And how do you know that what you imagine to be, in yourself, a lack of human emotion, is not simply some obstruction of circumstance, or even some bluff that you are putting up to yourself because your feelings are so strong (in themselves, not towards any particular person or persons) that you cannot face them?
AnywayChristianityspiritual progress and direction;d6towards self-knowledge;a5, complete self-knowledge is unattainable. What one can learn is, that when one has stripped away some particular illusion about oneself, this does not mean complete self-understanding.
ForChristianityguilt;b7and the New England conscience;a1 Heaven’sAmericaNew England;f9and the New England conscience;a7 sake be humbly contented, and wholly unashamed, of what you feel and don’t feel towards your relatives, or towards me, or anyone else. And one is just as much, really, what one is to others, as one is what one is to oneself. And for that, one must take the word of others. You are the one person all the time, but my impression or conviction of what you are is at least as likely (and you being what you are, more likely) to be correct than yours. I was once impressed, at a time when I found myself boiling with emotions and anxieties which I could hardly master, by a man’s telling me how much he had been helped by the atmosphere of serenity and peace which I provided!
I don’t delude myself into supposing that I have quite exorcised, for myself, the ghosts of nine generations of ancestors the view of all of whom (including my parents) I disapprove; but I assure you that I find your discontent with your own feelings to be extremely heretical! I wonder if you will remember that once, years ago, when you had a sudden explosion of abhorrence of your own wickedness (God knows for what occasion) I wrote to you in somewhat the same strain, though with less knowledge.
Well, well, I suppose this is long enough for a Sermon, if you choose to call it so, ma’am, and begging your Pardon. As for changes of mood – and any consequent pain and difficulty for others in keeping up with them – don’t worry about them either, it is all part of the same thing. I may be slow and stupid, but I make it my business to get the hang of them! But I do see the point: that they are very trying for you – even though they do not change mine; yet it makes matters only much worse for you to worry about instability of mood – and please never try to disguise them or conquer them, so far as I am concerned, but let me see what they are, however sudden and unexpected. AsHale, Emilycorrespondence with TSE;w3restraints on TSE's ardour lifted;f8 for my writing you a love letter, or ‘as much of a love letter as I feel like’! I wonder and I wonder is that possible – after so much self-control – without getting completely out of my own hand? YouHale, EmilyTSE's love for;x2startles TSE, like 'a burglar';d4 see I have had two moments (you do not know which they are) of being startled by my own feelings as by a burglar in the diningroom, and being really frightened by them.
11.52. One must stop at some time. And what colour of sealingwax do you prefer.
ton
Tom
1.‘Almighty God, our heavenly Father, we have sinned against you and against our fellow men, in thought and word and deed’ (Book of Common Prayer).
America, TSE on not returning in 1915, and TSE as transatlantic cultural conduit, dependence on Europe, TSE's sense of deracination from, and the Great Depression, TSE a self-styled 'Missourian', as depicted in Henry Eliot's Rumble Murders, its national coherence questioned, its religious and educational future, versus Canadian and colonial society, where age is not antiquity, drinks Scotland's whisky, and FDR's example to England, underrates Europe's influence on England, redeemed by experience with G. I.'s, TSE nervous at readjusting to, and post-war cost of living, more alien to TSE post-war, its glories, landscape, cheap shoes, its horrors, Hollywood, climate, lack of tea, overheated trains, over-social clubs, overheating in general, perplexities of dress code, food, especially salad-dressing, New England Gothic, earthquakes, heat, the whistle of its locomotives, 'Easter holidays' not including Easter, the cut of American shirts, television, Andover, Massachusetts, EH moves to, Ann Arbor, Michigan, TSE on visiting, Augusta, Maine, EH stops in, Baltimore, Maryland, and TSE's niece, TSE engaged to lecture in, TSE on visiting, Bangor, Maine, EH visits, Bay of Fundy, EH sailing in, Bedford, Massachusetts, its Stearns connections, Boston, Massachusetts, TSE tries to recollect society there, its influence on TSE, its Museum collection remembered, inspires homesickness, TSE and EH's experience of contrasted, described by Maclagan, suspected of dissipating EH's energies, EH's loneliness in, Scripps as EH's release from, possibly conducive to TSE's spiritual development, restores TSE's health, its society, TSE's relations preponderate, TSE's happiness in, as a substitute for EH's company, TSE's celebrity in, if TSE were there in EH's company, its theatregoing public, The Times on, on Labour Day, Brunswick, Maine, TSE to lecture in, TSE on visiting, California, as imagined by TSE, TSE's wish to visit, EH suggests trip to Yosemite, swimming in the Pacific, horrifies TSE, TSE finds soulless, land of earthquakes, TSE dreads its effect on EH, Wales's resemblance to, as inferno, and Californians, surfeit of oranges and films in, TSE's delight at EH leaving, land of kidnappings, Aldous Huxley seconds TSE's horror, the lesser of two evils, Cannes reminiscent of, TSE masters dislike of, land of monstrous churches, TSE regrets EH leaving, winterless, its southern suburbs like Cape Town, land of fabricated antiquities, Cambridge, Massachusetts, TSE's student days in, socially similar to Bloomsbury, TSE lonely there but for Ada, TSE's happiness in, exhausting, EH's 'group' in, road safety in, Casco Bay, Maine, TSE remembers, Castine, Maine, EH holidays in, Cataumet, Massachusetts, EH holidays in, Chicago, Illinois, EH visits, reportedly bankrupt, TSE on, TSE takes up lectureship in, its climate, land of fabricated antiquities, Chocurua, New Hampshire, EH stays in, Concord, Massachusetts, EH's househunting in, EH moves from, Connecticut, its countryside, and Boerre, TSE's end-of-tour stay in, Dorset, Vermont, EH holidays in, and the Dorset Players, Elizabeth, New Jersey, TSE on visiting, Farmington, Connecticut, place of EH's schooling, which TSE passes by, EH holidays in, Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire, EH recuperates in, Gerrish Island, Maine, TSE revisits, Hollywood, perceived debauchery of its movies, TSE's dream of walk-on part, condemned by TSE to destruction, TSE trusts Murder will be safe from, Iowa City, Iowa, TSE invited to, Jonesport, Maine, remembered, Kittery, Maine, described, Lexington, Massachusetts, and the Stearns family home, Lyndeborough, New Hampshire, visited by EH, Madison, Wisconsin, Aurelia Bolliger hails from, Ralph Hodgson sails for, EH summers in, as conceived by TSE, who eventually visits, Maine, its coast remembered by TSE, TSE recalls swimming off, Minneapolis, on EH's 1952 itinerary, TSE lectures in, New Bedford, Massachusetts, EH's holidays in, TSE's family ties to, New England, and Unitarianism, more real to TSE than England, TSE homesick for, in TSE's holiday plans, architecturally, compared to California, and the New England conscience, TSE and EH's common inheritance, springless, TSE remembers returning from childhood holidays in, its countryside distinguished, and The Dry Salvages, New York (N.Y.C.), TSE's visits to, TSE encouraged to write play for, prospect of visiting appals TSE, as cultural influence, New York theatres, Newburyport, Maine, delights TSE, Northampton, Massachusetts, TSE on, EH settles in, TSE's 1936 visit to, autumn weather in, its spiritual atmosphere, EH moves house within, its elms, the Perkinses descend on, Aunt Irene visits, Boerre's imagined life in, TSE on hypothetical residence in, EH returns to, Peterborough, New Hampshire, visited by EH, TSE's vision of life at, Petersham, Massachusetts, EH holidays in, TSE visits with the Perkinses, EH spends birthday in, Edith Perkins gives lecture at, the Perkinses cease to visit, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, TSE on, and TSE's private Barnes Foundation tour, Independence Hall, Pittsfield, Massachusetts, surrounding countryside, Portsmouth, Maine, delights TSE, Randolph, New Hampshire, 1933 Eliot family holiday in, the Eliot siblings return to, Seattle, Washington State, EH summers in, EH's situation at, TSE prefers to California, EH repairs to post-Christmas, EH visits on 1952 tour, EH returns to, Sebasco, Maine, EH visits, South, the, TSE's first taste of, TSE's prejudices concerning, St. Louis, Missouri, TSE's childhood in, TSE's homesickness for, TSE styling himself a 'Missourian', possible destination for TSE's ashes, resting-place of TSE's parents, TSE on his return to, the Mississippi, compared to TSE's memory, TSE again revisits, TSE takes EVE to, St. Paul, Minnesota, TSE on visiting, the Furness house in, Tryon, North Carolina, EH's interest in, EH staying in, Virginia, scene of David Garnett's escapade, and the Page-Barbour Lectures, TSE on visiting, and the South, Washington, Connecticut, EH recuperates in, West Rindge, New Hampshire, EH holidays at, White Mountains, New Hampshire, possible TSE and EH excursion to, Woods Hole, Falmouth, Massachusetts, TSE and EH arrange holiday at, TSE and EH's holiday in recalled, and The Dry Salvages, TSE invited to, EH and TSE's 1947 stay in, EH learns of TSE's death at,
see also American Presidential Election
Christianity, and human isolation, and modern economics, Ada on TSE's personal piety, scheme for 'Pro Fide' bookshop, among the Eliot family, and beauty, its sects like different clubs, Anglo-Catholicism, TSE's conversion to, which he dates to Eccleston Square meeting, Anglican Missal sought for EH, but unfortunately out of print, discussed at Boston Theological School, and the Petrine Claims, apostolic succession, over Roman Catholicism, as refuge from VHE, and the Reformation, asceticism, discipline, rigour, the necessity for, and TSE's daily exhortation, making and breaking habits, mastering emotions and passions, as salubrious, only remedy for a prurient culture, confession and communion, more possible during Harvard year, the case for unattainable ideals, in time of war, gets TSE up before 7 o'clock, hereditary with TSE, belief, and good poetry, faced with Second World War, and conversion, antidote to TSE's skepticism, Christendom, TSE ponders the decline of, TSE on his prominence within, its ruin, the Church Visible and Invisible, and TSE's war work, the Malabar Church, prospect of total reunion within, confession, helps to objectify sin, more dreaded than dentist, harder in the morning, death and afterlife, the struggle to prepare for, consoles TSE in life, and cremation, Requiem Mass, gives meaning to life, and what makes a desirable burial place, the nature of eternal life, divorce, unrecognised by Anglo-Catholic Church, which TSE regrets, in church law, would separate TSE from Church, evil, TSE's belief in, and moral percipience, guilt, and the New England conscience, hell, TSE's 1910 vision of, and damnation, according to TSE, liturgy, TSE's weekly minimum, Mass of the Pre-sanctified, Requiem Mass versus Mass of Good Friday, and whether to serve at Mass, Imposition of Ashes, at Christmas, High Mass over Mattins, aversion to Low Church Mattins, Roman service in Wayland, Tenebrae, in country parish church, as guest at Kelham, remarkable sermon, over Christmas, Tenebrae and Family Reunion, during Holy Week, Mass of Charles King and Martyr, love, loving one's neighbour, marriage, TSE's need for privacy within, mysticism and transcendence, interpenetration of souls, intimations of life's 'pattern', 'doubleness', arrived at through reconciliation, orthodoxy, only remedy for contemporary culture, and pagans, sets TSE at odds with modernity, necessarily trinitarian, 'Christian' defined, iniquities of liberal theology, and creed, authority, Transubstantiation, TSE disclaims 'self-centredness' in maintaining, politics, the Church and social change, how denomination maps onto, need for working-class priests, church leaders against totalitarianism and Nazism, Christianity versus Fascism and Communism, Papal Encyclical against Nazi Germany, the 'Dividend morality', Presbyterianism, TSE quips on the meanness of, Quakerism, resignation, reconciliation, peace, TSE's love allows for, 'peace that passeth all understanding', the struggle to maintain, following separation from VHE, retreat and solitude, EH at Senexet, the need for, a need increasing with age, and TSE's mother, Roman Catholicism, TSE's counter-factual denomination, Rome, sacraments, Holy Communion, marriage, sainthood, TSE's idea of, the paradoxes of, susceptible of different sins, sins, vices, faults, how to invigilate, the sense of sin, the sinner's condition, bound up with the virtues, as a way to virtue, TSE's self-appraisal, when humility shades into, when unselfishness shades into, among saints, proportionate to spiritual progress, daydreaming, despair, lust, pride, perfection-seeking pride, spiritual progress and direction, TSE's crisis of 1910–11, EH's crisis, versus automatism, TSE's sense of, towards self-knowledge, in EH's case, as personal regeneration, temptation, to action/busyness, the Church Year, Advent, Christmas, dreaded, happily over, TSE rebuked for bah-humbugging, church trumps family during, season of irreligion, thoughts of EH during, unsettling, fatiguing, in wartime, Easter preferred to, Ash Wednesday, Lent, season for meditation and reading, prompts thoughts of EH, Lady Day, Holy Week, its intensity, arduous, preserved from public engagements, exhausting but refreshing, excitingly austere, Easter, better observed than Christmas, missed through illness, Unitarianism, the Eliots' as against EH's, the prospect of spiritual revival within, as personified by TSE's grandfather, regards the Bible as literature, as against Catholicism, divides EH from TSE, and whether Jesus believed himself divine, according to Dr Perkins, in England as against America, over-dependent on preachers' personality, TSE's wish that EH convert from, outside TSE's definition of 'Christian', the issue of communion, baptism, impossibly various, virtues heavenly and capital, bound up with the vices, better reached by way of sin, charity, towards others, in Bubu, TSE's intentness on, delusions of, as against tolerance, chastity, celibacy, beneath humility, TSE lacks vocation for, faith, and doubt, hope, a duty, TSE's struggle for, humility, distinguished from humiliation, comes as relief, greatest of the virtues, propinquitous to humour, not an Eliot virtue, opposed to timidity, danger of pride in, is endless, TSE criticised for overdoing, theatre a lesson in, most difficult of the virtues, possessed by EH, possessed by EH to a fault, TSE compares himself to EH in, the paradox of, distinguished from inferiority, self-discovery teaches, possessed by Dr Perkins, patience, recommended to EH, its foundations, possessed by Uncle John, purity, distinguished from purification, temperance, with alcohol, beneath humility,
Eliot, Vivien (TSE's first wife, née Haigh-Wood), takes a liking to EH, EH urged not to blame, relations with Charles Buckle, unbearable to holiday with, takes to Margaret Thorp, accompanies TSE to Poetry Bookshop, and 57 Chester Terrace, on TSE's religion, TSE declines invitations excluding, her driving, hosts various writers to tea, considers flat in Gordon Square, arranges large tea-party, as theatregoer, declares desire to make confession, taken to Eastbourne, recalls the Eliots' visit to Rodmell, Alida Monro reports on, in Alida Monro's opinion, falls out with Lucy Thayer, meets TSE for last time at solicitors, seeks TSE's whereabouts, haunts TSE in London, such that he forgoes the theatre, news of, inquires after Man Ray portrait, harries F&F office, on Mosley Albert Hall rally, dies, her funeral, Requiem Mass for, Theresa remembers, marriage to, TSE on entering into, alleged affair with Bertrand Russell, sexual relations, its morbidity, TSE on his own incapacity, its torments providential on reflection, in OM's opinion, its lessons, humiliating, TSE's father's reaction, unrecognised by TSE, to outsiders, TSE reflects on, painful yet stimulating, as an act of self-rupture, drug habits, sleeping draughts, in TSE's absence, 1926 bromidia delusions, mental state, childlike, benefits from active social life, compared to EH's mother's, at the Malmaison sanatorium, and dining in public, TSE's influence on, post-separation, the prospect of institutionalising, prompts institutionalisation crisis-meeting, and TSE's departure for America, against TSE going, adjusting to the prospect, might coordinate with a return to Malmaison, in denial as to, threatens to come, from which TSE tries to dissuade her, aggrieved at being left, possible arrangements in TSE's absence, still in denial as to, TSE dreads scene of departure, possibly beneficial to VHE, TSE describes the moment of departure, separation from, TSE, for and against, out of the question, obstructed by self-deception and responsibility, reasons for not having happened, Dr Miller's opinion on, contemplated, plotted, would necessitate TSE's sequestration, TSE encouraged in his determination, Alida Monro independently suggests, communication with solicitors on, TSE describes going through with, VHE's response before and after meeting at solicitors, impasse over financial settlement, which VHE misrepresents to friends, VHE in denial over, separation deed drawn up, which is yet unsigned, delayed by death of lawyer, general impasse, financial settlement put into force, complicated by VHE renewing lease on flat, efforts to retrieve TSE's property, which is eventually recovered, financial consequences, the possibility of divorcing, TSE's objections to, against what TSE symbolises, likened to Newman's conversion, in common and canon law, in Ada's opinion, how TSE's attitude might seem, would involve permanent division from Church, inimical to future TSE's happiness, her death, and Theresa on TSE remarrying, TSE's shifting response to, formerly wished for, EH reflects on,
see also Eliots, the T. S.
Hale, Emily, visits the Eliots for tea, returns to Boston, likened to TSE's mother, TSE identifies with her 'reserve', encouraged to write for periodicals, visits West Rindge, summers in Seattle, presents herself as cossetted, blames herself for an unfulfilled life, returns to Boston, consulted over TSE's Norton Professorship, holidays in Castine, vacations in New Bedford, TSE fears accident befalling, travels to stay in Seattle, Frank Morley on Ada on, arrives in California, brought to tears by music, goes horse-riding, baited over how to boil an egg, TSE passes old school of, takes motoring holiday via San Francisco, summers in Seattle, TSE composes squib for, takes TSE's hand in dream, returned to California, TSE sends Harvard Vocarium record, holidays in West Rindge, returns to Boston before embarking for England, arrives in England, to travel to Paris, returns to London, feels inferior to 'brilliant society', invited to Sweeney Agonistes rehearsal, attends Richard II with TSE, attends Sweeney Agonistes, takes TSE to Gielgud's Hamlet, taken to see Stravinsky conducting, leaves for Italy, takes tea at OM's before leaving, mistaken for TSE's sister, returns to Florence, sails for the Riviera, returns from France, returns to Chipping Campden, to Guernsey with Jeanie McPherrin, taken to Henry IV on return, shares open taxi with TSE through Parks and Whitehall, and TSE attend The Gondoliers, visit to the Russian ballet, invited to Murder in Canterbury, and TSE attend 1066 And All That, taken to Tovaritch, and Morleys set for ballet, which she excuses herself from, criticised for flower-arranging, and TSE walk in the Cotswolds, feels inferior to Margaret Thorp, and TSE theatre-going with Thorps, taken to Timon of Athens, taken to Peer Gynt, visited at Campden for TSE's birthday, takes lodgings in Oxford, lodges at 19 Rosary Gardens, watches TSE read to Student Christian Movement, and TSE visit Kenwood House, dines with the Maritains, describes tea with the Woolfs, returns to America, visits Ada on Boston homecoming, possible career-move into politics, pays winter visit to Rindge, and Eleanor Hinkley attend New York Murder, moves to 154 Riverway with Perkinses, considers volunteering for charity, living at 5 Clement Circle, holidays in Cataumet, returns abruptly to Cambridge, recuperates in New Hampshire, moves to 240 Crescent St., Northampton, Mass., lectures at Concord, returns to Brimmer Street, returns to Boston during vacation, sails for England, in residence at Chipping Campden, travels to Yorkshire, returned to Chipping Campden, returns and moves to 22 Paradise Road, Northampton, Mass., spends Thanksgiving in Boston, stays at Hotel Lincolnshire with the Perkinses, vacations at New Bedford, visits New York, holidays in Charleston, as patron of school, returns to Northampton, sails for England, day at Windsor with TSE, fortnight at Campden with TSE, at Campden with TSE again, returns to America with 'Boerre', ordered to stay in America in case of war, given Family Reunion draft with her comments, encouraged to write drama criticism, vacations in New Bedford, advises TSE against Tewkesbury choruses, holidays with the Havenses, sails for England, at Chipping Campden, stays with the Adam Smiths in Scotland, returns to America with Perkinses, safely returned, sent copy of TSE's daily prayers, sent first CNL, sends TSE selected American plays, holidays in New Bedford, spends Easter in Harwichport, holiday destinations, holidays in Cape Cod, returns to the Perkinses at 90 Commonwealth Avenue, stays with Elsmiths in Woods Hole, holidays on Grand Manan, visits Perkinses in Boston, returns to 90 Commonwealth Avenue, holidays in Madison, Wisc., travels on to Maine, holidays on Grand Manan, holidays in Bangor, Maine, as president of S. P. C. A., spends Christmas holiday in New Bedford, holidays in Woods Hole, loans out her Eliotana, removes from Smith to the Perkinses, spends time in Maine, repairs to New Bedford, spends time in Tryon, N. C., returned to Boston, spends three days in New York, shares details of will, holidays on Grand Manan, leaves TSE portrait in event of predeceasing him, late summer in New Brunswick, vacations in New Bedford, repairs to New Bedford, resident in Millbrook, takes short holiday at 'Bleak House', holidays on Grand Manan, visits Woods Hole, visits New Bedford, holidays in New Bedford, spends holiday at Sylvia Knowles's, holidays in Dorset, Vt., holidays briefly in Farmington, holidaying on Grand Manan, TSE seeks Trojan Women translation for, moves to 9 Lexington Road, gives Christmas readings, congratulates TSE on OM, urges TSE not to despair at honours, spends Easter in Boston, race-relations and the WPA, sings Bach's B Minor Mass, removes from Concord to Andover, on life in Grand Manan, congratulates TSE on Nobel Prize, resident at 35 School Street, Andover, summers between Boston, Woods Hole, New Bedford and Grand Manan, recounts journey to Grand Manan, takes The Cocktail Party personally, then repents of doing so, post-Christmas stay in New Bedford, reports on Cocktail Party's opening, summers between Chocorua and Campobello, tours westward to California during summer holiday, attends British Drama League summer school, holidays in Grand Manan, asks TSE for occasional poem, week in the Virgin Islands, summers between Mount Desert and California, spends holidays in New Bedford, recuperates in New Bedford, returns, briefly to Chipping Campden, Eleanor Hinkley reports on, writes to EVE, sends EVE photograph of TSE, makes tour of Scandinavia, approaches TSE on Smith's behalf, which approach TSE declines, writes to TSE on GCF's death, moves back to Concord, pays visit to Seattle, reacts to TSE's death, writes to EVE, meets EVE, dies, appearance and characteristics, her shapely neck, TSE's memory for certain of her old dresses, particularly four dresses, which TSE then describes, TSE begs EH to describe her clothing, in silk, autumn 1930, costumed in a 'Titian wig', EH encouraged to gain weight, EH encouraged to tan, her Jantzen suit, TSE begs a slip of hair from, her gold-and-green tea gown, her Praxitelean nose, EH congratulated on 'perm', EH refuses TSE lock of hair, her voice, Guardsman dress, as a Botticelli Madonna, her hands, recommended skin-cream, 'new goldy dress', TSE inquires after, in TSE's dreams, 'new and nuder' swimsuit demanded, her black dress/red jacket outfit, dressed in blue, in charming black dress, her sense of humour, her New England conscience, the famous apricot dress, her hair, various dresses, EH's idea of new dresses, EH hair cut in the new style, blue dress worn following masque, as actor, as Olivia in Twelfth Night, in the Cambridge Dramatic club, as Roxane in Cyrano in 1915/16, as Judith Bliss in Hay Fever, EH considers giving up for teaching, in the 'stunt show' with TSE, as Beatrice, TSE hopes, in The Footlight Club, in Berkeley Square, in The Yellow Jacket, EH praised over Ruth Draper, under Ellen van Volkenburg, cast as an octogenarian, in The Old Lady Shows Her Medals, TSE speculates as to her future in, and teaching, as Lady Bracknell, TSE begs to write part for, in The Footlight Club, potentially in summer theatre company, as the Duchess of Devonshire, potentially in The Family Reunion, Cambridge Dramatic club reunion, The Wingless Victory, in masque with TSE, in a Van Druten play, as Lodovico Sforza, in play by Laurence Housman, as Madame Arcati in Blithe Spirit, with Paul Stephenson, in Kind Lady, joins the Dorset Players, as director ('producer'), La Locandiera, Lady Gregory's The Dragon, Dust of the Road, Comus, possibly temporarily at St. Catherine's, Va., chorus work at Smith, Electra, Quality Street, The Merchant of Venice, Dear Brutus, Christmas play, Richard II, Hay Fever, Christmas pantomime, The Dorset Players, a reading of Outward Bound, Molnár's The Swan, Dulcy, The School for Scandal, Fanny and the Servant Problem, Dear Brutus again, Twelfth Night, Prunella, Christmas play, Antigone, The Merry Wives of Windsor, As You Like It, The Admirable Crichton, Holy Night, The Tempest, as teacher, EH lectures on 'Modern British Verse', as a career, at Milwaukee-Downer College, Mich., at Simmons College, Boston, EH considers post at Scripps, which she accepts, arrives at Scripps, establishes drama workshop at Scripps, EH lectures on TSE, EH's advice that TSE lecture less slowly, as described by Scripps student, and being admired by students, TSE sees her teaching as a kind of acting, requests year's leave from Scripps, resigns position at Scripps, declares intention to teach again, possibly, temporarily, at St. Catherine's, Va., possibly at Smith, post at St. Catherine's rejected, appointed to position at Smith, is installed at Smith, reappointed with pay-rise, reappointed again for two years, her work at Smith, unsettled at Smith, in time of war, insecure over job at Smith, from which EH takes 'sabbatical', let go by Smith, takes job at Concord Academy, appointed to post at Bennett Junior College, Millbrook, appointment to permanent Concord position, EH thinks of giving up, lectures on Family Reunion, her work at Concord Academy, resignation from Concord Academy, takes permanent position at Abbot, EH admits to being sheltered by, retirement from Abbot, according to Abbot Academy tribute, birthdays, presents and love-tokens, EH's birthday compared to TSE's, TSE sends Terry–Shaw correspondence for EH's birthday, EH sends TSE pomme purée, present from EH, flowers for EH's birthday arrive too soon, EH wearing TSE's ring, two rings bought for EH, EH bought typewriter, TSE 'cables' EH roses, TSE consults EH over potential present, TSE's second 'sapphire' ring for, EH refits new rings from TSE, TSE receives flowers for Christmas, EH given 'powder box' for Christmas, EH's present to TSE goes amiss, missing present (calendar) explained, EH left cigarettes by TSE, EH gives TSE cigarette case, TSE necklace-hunting for EH, pearls suggested for EH, EH bought sapphire bracelet, EH gives TSE a signet ring, EH bought blue-gray scarf, EH gives TSE silk handkerchiefs, TSE has signet ring engraved, further ring sought for EH, EH with TSE on his birthday, EH gives TSE initialled leather portfolio, TSE given ashtrays and matchbox, furs sought for EH, EH gives TSE stool, roses sent to EH on birthday, TSE given diary and hairbrush box, TSE given rosary and print, EH buys TSE towel rails, TSE receives diary for Christmas, 1810 ring bought for EH, EH buys TSE various ties, war means no flowers, EH's lapis lazuli ring, TSE neglects to cable EH, EH knits socks for TSE, which turn out large, EH sends TSE 'snowflake' socks, EH remembers TSE's birthday with reference to Shakespeare, TSE sent marmalade and liver-paste, EH writes poem for TSE's birthday, EH sends TSE provisions, EH loses sapphire from ring, diamond circlet given to EH in 1939, EH gives TSE socks for Christmas, TSE gives EH 'evening bag', EH unthanked for Christmas present, correspondence with TSE, TSE petitions EH to bestow on the Bodleian, TSE exalts as authoritative, TSE envisions as reading-group, the only writing TSE enjoys, TSE as Cyrano to EH's Roxane, TSE's dependence on, TSE's nights spent planning, TSE rereads with pleasure, the strain of interruption, switches to Air Mail, TSE on his decision to renew, TSE marks first anniversary of, keeps TSE sane, TSE hopes to telephone, TSE wishes to maintain when in America, EH would withhold from the Bodleian bequest, from which TSE tries to dissuade her, TSE violently dependent on, TSE begs EH that it be preserved, less exciting to EH than at first, TSE's horror of sounding sermonic, if such a correspondence were profitable, and TSE's respectful reticence, EH suggests entrusting to Willard Thorp, but subsequently explains she meant Margaret Thorp, EH's to do with as pleases, and the prospect of TSE writing every night, TSE still rereads with pleasure, excites TSE too much to write smoothly, compared with talking, phone call finally arranged, which finally takes place, EH importuned to write more, TSE promises three letters a week, EH refuses more than one, a solitude within a solitude, EH switches to typewriter, which TSE offers to buy, observed weekly by EH's students, flatters TSE most when EH writes undutifully, TSE's dread of EH rationing, TSE's efforts to moderate himself within, TSE imagines the unsealing of, TSE offers to cease, a place to vent one's feelings, TSE rebuked for 'intolerance' within, EH learns to type, hinders TSE from work, TSE on life before, third anniversary marked, thwarted by TSE's self-loathing, TSE doubts having pursued, restraints on TSE's ardour lifted, more constrained by day, TSE worries about burdening EH with, worth TSE getting home early for, by day, by night, TSE specially treasures recent 'love letters', more delightful since EH's reciprocation, and TSE's diminished ardour, switches to transatlantic airmail, constrained by war, opened by censor, and Shamley Green post-office, TSE apologises for, EH free to dispose of, within limits, particularly constrained by EH's letter of 1939, and the experience of delay, TSE equivocates on preserving, varied with airgraph, again, EH's to do with as she pleases, still intended for Bodleian, TSE chastened for short cables, TSE's letters 'undemonstrative and impersonal', post-war frequency, being and not being loving by letter, EH asks TSE to reduce, TSE criticised for following monthly injunction, TSE rebuked for impersonality, EH formally bequeaths to Princeton, TSE unfussed as to repository, TSE reiterates 50-year prohibition, TSE's worries as to future appearances, EH promises Princeton her statement on, promises letters with ten-year seal, attempts to shorten TSE's moratorium, which TSE refuses, which forces EH to relent, TSE encouraged to return EH's letters, EH deposits further material with Princeton, EH makes 'recording' for Princeton, EH renews plea to shorten moratorium, and is again refused, TSE destroys EH's letters, TSE repents of severe letter, which EH never receives, EH suspects TSE of destroying her letters, EH instructs Princeton to discard 'recording', EH ultimately respects TSE's wishes, EH on TSE's destruction of her letters, family, her father, her childhood compared to TSE's, TSE desires family history of, EH encouraged to keep younger company, EH's unity with parents, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH photographed with parents, and EH's obligations to, finances, health, physical and mental, admits to breakdown, TSE compares 'nightmares' with, TSE's desire to nurse, suffers neuritis, then neuralgia, recommended suncream, suffers arthritis, suffers with sinuses, her teeth, experiences insomnia, suffers 'hives', suffers crisis body and soul, feels depressed over Christmas, suffers neuralgia, suffers intestinal flu, has shingles, admitted to hospital, convalesces on Grand Manan, recuperates in Washington, Conn., photographs of, as a child, Edith Sitwellesque photograph, in 18th-century costume, in 18th-century French costume, in broad-brimmed 'picture' hat, TSE buys Kodak, in deck-chair, eating sandwich, in a car, 'the Beautiful one', which TSE has enlarged for his dressing-table, painful, because taken in the 'interim', in bacchanalian pose, 'Semitic', among young people, set 'Elizabeth' giggling, Diana Mannersesque, are mnemonic aids to TSE, kneeling beside can of flowers, TSE's favourite, with ordinarily sized hands, smoking in chair, as child with big ears, taken on TSE's arrival in Claremont, in Jane Austen fashion, in unfamiliar jacket, taken in autumn, with mother and father, as a child, in TSE's note-case throughout Blitz, in Wingless Victory, as child, in gold frame, in familiar jacket, taken with Boerre, surround TSE at Shamley, with baby, in a group, of EH's portrait, in sailor suit, all inadequate, carrying lamp, with Rag Doll, at Campobello, reading, Henry James, Letters from Baron Friedrich von Hügel to a Niece, All Passion Spent, Bubu de Montparnasse, F&F thriller, Eyeless in Gaza, Dante, Hopkins and Roosevelt, Henry Irving: The Actor and His World, relationship with TSE, TSE's first acquaintance with, its abnormality, runs to admiration from EH, and TSE's habitual reserve, its morality under examination, defended by TSE, its susceptibilities envisaged by TSE, EH admits estrangement within, and TSE's desire for intimacies, provokes sorrow and fury in TSE, confided to the Perkinses, Miss Ware and Father Underhill, TSE's chance to be frivolous, and the prospect of TSE's Harvard year, TSE dates first meeting to 1905, whereas EH dates to 1915, TSE's terror of renewing in California, teaches TSE true companionship, runs to a 'kiss', as perpetual progress and revelation, EH offered manumission from, if TSE were not married, seems more real for TSE's American year, TSE's reasons against marrying, TSE fears having misled over, EH again offered manumission from, EH writes to Ada concerning, EH blames TSE for his ardour, then apologises for blaming TSE, leads to unhappiness in EH, possible drain on EH's health, its perceived inequalities, pity and gratitude would corrupt, TSE conditionally promises marriage, TSE sees as an imposition on EH, potentially richer for meeting TSE's friends, EH 'kisses' TSE, EH rests head on TSE's shoulder, EH strokes TSE's face, as consubstantial union, TSE's love finally reciprocated, mutual embraces, EH kissed on the right foot, TSE favoured with birthday kiss, exhausting, should proceed without hope of marriage, TSE again regrets misleading EH, as one of mutual dependence, its unsatisfactions, its seasonal rhythm, but for VHE would be marriage, EH seeks post-war clarity on, and the prospect of VHE's death, following VHE's death, TSE reflects on the deterioration of, TSE reflects generally on, and men and women generally, according to Theresa Eliot, EH reflects on, since TSE discounted marriage, had TSE behaved differently in 1914, its new dispensation, source of mutual anguish, apropos of TSE's second marriage, EH's marriage regret, EH recoils from publicising, TSE re-evaluates, EH writes to EVE about, religious beliefs and practices, claims experience of 'vision', admits suffering spiritual crisis, goes on retreat, and TSE's definition of sainthood, compared to TSE's, professes to resent the Church, makes retreat to Senexet, the issue of communion, the possibility of confirmation, source of worry to EH, confronts TSE on religious differences, TSE on her 'Christian spirit', fears TSE considers her damned, TSE pointedly refrains from criticising, unclear to TSE, TSE's love for, and their conversation in Eccleston Square, declared, in 1915, and TSE's desire to be EH's spiritual possession, source of serenity to TSE, the strangeness of not broadcasting, first felt in 1913, recognised by TSE the night of Tristan und Isolde, TSE's reasons for not declaring in 1913, what TSE said instead of declaring, a pain of sorts, unconfided to friends, not immune to jealousy of EH's male friends, its passion tempered by religion, and the torment of resignation, defiled by possessiveness and anger, and a particular journey back from Pasadena, in light of California stay, increases his desire to quarrel with EH, TSE doubts decision to declare, eternally unconditional, shows TSE true meaning of tenderness, defined by TSE, violent, clarified and strengthened by Chipping Campden reunion, disquiets EH, obstructive to EH loving another, TSE initially relieved to find unrequited, queered by inexperience, TSE repents of over-prizing, startles TSE, like 'a burglar', strengthened and deepened, irrespective of physical beauty, finally reciprocated, ideal when unreciprocated, relieved only by poetry, as against love's travesties, as expressed in Burnt Norton, over time, apparently undimmed but dwarfed by war, and the first time TSE spoke EH's name, thwarted by question of divorce, EH questions, now better adjusted to reality, argument over communion challenges, would run to jealously but not marriage, as expressed in 1914 on Chestnut Hill, TSE's names, nicknames and terms of endearment for, 'Lady', 'Dove', 'My saint', 'Bienaimée', TSE's reason for calling her 'Dove', 'Isolde', 'My Lady', 'Emilie', 'Princess', 'Lady bird', 'Birdie', 'riperaspberrymouth', 'Emily of Fire & Violence', 'Bouche-de-Fraise', 'Bouch-de-Framboise', 'Raspberrymouth', not 'Wendy', 'Nightingale', 'Mocking Bird', 'Love', 'My true love', 'my Self', 'Emilia' and Shelley's Epipsychidion, 'my Own', 'Girl', 'Western Star', 'Darling', 'My Life', 'My Lamb', 'Beloved my Female', 'My own Woman', writings, an article on 'Weimar', letter to The Times about King's jubilee, account of communion at Beaulieu, EH asks to write about TSE, review of La Machine infernale, review of Dangerous Corner, a note for S. P. C. A., an 'epigram', 'Actors at Alnwick', 'An Etching', 'The Giocanda Smile', 'The Personal Equation in Spoken English', 'A Play from Both Sides of the Footlights', 'Summer Sunshine: A Memory of Miss Minna Hall', 'They flash upon the inward eye',