[No surviving envelope]
I was very happy when you gave me your address this morning, because I thought you would not unless I asked you again, and I knew I should not have another opportunity. Perhaps you realised that I should want to write at the first opportunity, to relieve my feelings. ItHale, EmilyTSE's love for;x2strengthened and deepened;d5 is easy to tell you that I felt and thought all the same things that I thought and felt before – not so easy to express all the modifications of these thoughts and feelings. I do not mean primarily the modifications introduced by our correspondence in the meantime, but something which will be a continuous process in me recognised every time we meet – something which, apart from whatever happens in between – will mark every meeting as for me more important than the last – a perpetual strengthening and deepening, and a spreading of the roots of it more and more through my whole being. For instance, just as four years ago I looked back on my early feelings towards you, so I now look back on my feelings of four years ago; and in rejoicing at their increased strength and significance, look forward now with joy and terror to their continual affirmation in the future. It is now not so much my own feelings that I depend upon, but my realisation of what you are. And to rise to a level nearer the surface, please believe that I observe gratefully all your kindness and tact and forbearance. HowHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE sees as an imposition on EH;d7 I have imposed upon you, howtravels, trips and plansTSE's 1933 westward tour to Scripps;a8TSE reflects on;a9 selfishly I came out to California – if I have come to Campden as selfishly, it is at least with fuller appreciation.1 How patient you are. If I could feel now that I was giving anything, as well as receiving, it would no longer please my vanity, but only give me a little peace. WhenMcPherrin, Jeanettementions 'shriners';a3 Miss MacPherrin spoke of ‘shriners’!2 I felt suddenly that I was only one among them.
Aftertravels, trips and plansEH's 1934–5 year in Europe;b4which visit TSE reflects on;b1 the first nervousness – partly due to what had occurred in the meantime, partly due to the presence of a new and possibly keenly observant person – partly simple recrudescence – I felt more at ease and more at peace than the last time, so that I could live more easily on two very different planes at once: more controlled, because less preoccupied with my own feelings and more with you objectively, getting at moments a perfectly unadulterated delight just in being in your company, in being permitted to contemplate you – in knowing that my feelings had penetrated to such a depth that I need not concern myself with them – in so full a surrender, at moments, that I was at peace. You have caused me to grow up (I am still growing) and it is not vanity which makes me believe that it will be a stature beyond that of most men I know. And I wish that somebody might some day give you all that you give to others, and myself the chief recipient, so that you might know something of the feeling that I am describing. It is very lonely, standing in a shrine.
And what sort of a letter is this, I wonder?
IOld Vic, The;a3 enclose the winter programme of the Old Vic, so that you may see that whenever you arrive, there will be something for you to see. Do I venture to ask you to come with me one evening? AndFaber and Faber (F&F);c3 – I should like you all to come to tea and see my office, at your convenience – and9 Grenville Place, Londontea-party for Perkinses at;a7 I should like to give a teaparty, my first, at Grenville Place, and invite one or two people whom the Perkins’s might like to meet – and another teaparty for you at the Ritz – and perhaps a small dinner at the Escargot Bienvenu and another at the club, and theatre; andMorleys, the;c8 if you have long enough in London would you still feel inclined to visit the Morleys? All this is what I SHOULD LIKE, mind you, only; so don’t be appalled by it. Perhaps you will be in London for your birthday – and I wonder whether there is some other piece you would prefer to a ring – and your other rings looked so much nicer than mine, I should like to do better; also you need a small cigarette box (boxes, holding only about eight cigarettes, looking rather like snuffboxes, are much smarter for ladies than ordinary cases).
I really think I had better stop. OnFabers, the1934 summer holiday with;c1 Fridaytravels, trips and plansTSE's 1934 Faber summer holiday;b5;a3 or Saturday (it is not yet certain which) IFaber, Geoffrey;c7 go to: Ty Glyn Aeron, Ciliau Aeron, near Lampeter, Cardiganshire, Wales – Geoffrey will motor me – I return by train on the 15th, to spend the weekend at Rochester, and am here permanently on the 17th.
Iflowers and floracarnations;a7from Chipping Campden;a1 nowflowers and floraroses;c7from Chipping Campden;a3 have quite a nice little collection of flowers: 1 rose, 3 carnations, 1 berries, and two miscellaneous.
IMcPherrin, JeanetteTSE approves of;a4 did like Miss MacPherrin [sc. McPherrin]. She is not only well read, but her taste is good; I think she is really kind & generous, and devoted to you. And that makes me like her, instead of being jealous –
1.See Graham Pearson, ‘T. S. Eliot and Chipping Campden’, Signpost: The Journal of Chipping Campden History Society, no. 7 (Autumn 2017), 3–6.
2.Shriner: a member of the Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, a charitable society founded in the USA in 1872.
11.GeoffreyFaber, Geoffrey Faber (1889–1961), publisher and poet: see Biographical Register.
2.JeanetteMcPherrin, Jeanette McPherrin (1911–92), postgraduate student at Scripps College; friend of EH: see Biographical Register.