[No surviving envelope]
Since your letter of the 26th April, which I merely acknowledged last week, I have your letter by ordinary mail of the 14th. In the letter, I am interested to think that you have been living in a very old house and I in a new one: forShamley Wood, Surreythe house and its situation;b6 Shamley Wood is a sort of contractor’s Tudor of which the best that one can say is that it is inoffensive, but rather badly built. I have never sent any snapshots, simply because for the last five years nobody has had any photographic film; and all good cameras, like all good field glasses, were contributed to the war effort. I have seen a few American soldiers with cameras slung over their shoulders. What I should have liked to send you, besides snapshots of the house and its population, would have been a good panorama of the view from the garden, across a small valley to a small hill, and in the distance the South Downs. That is really the best feature of the place. You will have heard from me that the spring was very forward here also; and I think it was the first time that I have ever seen lilac, laburnum, wisteria and other shrubs in full bloom several weeks ahead of time, with snow resting on them. The week in Paris was almost insufferably hot, especially as I was unable to take enough clothes to suit such changes in temperature; but since my return we have mostly been shivering, and still hoping for a hot summer in order to prepare for a coalless winter with shorter rations. AsMrs Millington (the blind masseuse)attributes condition to teeth;b1 for news of myself, I am being got back into shape by Mrs. Millington the masseuse, who for the present treats me once a week, and finds my physical condition rather set back by the poisoning from the teeth I had out – also I have lost some pounds, either through that or from the heat in Paris. AsMurder in the Cathedral1945 Théâtre du Vieux Colombier production;g2;a2 for Paris, I have no news yet of whether I shall have to go back for a few days: on the one hand I should much like to be present at the first night of ‘Meurtre’, and on the other hand I am only anxious to get settled in London.
ForRoosevelt, Franklin D.TSE's views on;a4 Roosevelt, itSecond World Warand post-war Anglo-American relations;f7 is almost impossible for anyone who has not been living in America to form any opinion of his domestic policy, and I am sure it must be very difficult for anyone in America to form an unbiassed opinion of it; and if an outsider is to take opinions of people in America, he must know a great deal about the people who express the opinions. Here, we must account it still providential for us that Roosevelt was president; and I think too that it was probably of greater importance than can be estimated, that the president during these years should have been a gentleman by origin.1 ITruman, Harry S.TSE sympathises with;a1 am very sorry for Mr. Truman, one’s first impressions of whom are pleasant, to have to take office in this way at this time: for the difficulties of the next few years, in the diplomatic field, are likely to be much greater than they have been in the past five.2 I have in mind, of course, not Anglo-American relations in themselves, but in relation to common difficulties, and in particular and foremost to the policy of Russia. And I am not happy to think that the civilisation of Japan, such as it is, should be totally obliterated. WeBritish General Election1945its political terrain;a1 are here in all the sordid turmoil of a general election3 which I consider not desirable at this time. ForeignLabour Party, themistrusted on foreign policy;a2 affairs are at this juncture infinitely more significant than domestic reforms; and the Labour Party, which has always been very inept in foreign affairs, is going to make its issues domestic ones which might better be postponed.
… WhenChristianityvirtues heavenly and capital;e1TSE's struggle for;b5 I spoke of not having written about, or rather not having expressed the implications of, the Resurrection in my verse, I had in mind a criticism, which I took seriously, by a friend who is an Anglican monk, and whom I consider rather gifted for the spiritual life. So when you say that it was ‘unkind’ of me to refer to that, I can only suppose that I must have left room for misinterpretation, for I certainly did not intend any personal thrust, which would be singularly improper in such a context anyway. IChristianityasceticism, discipline, rigour;a9hereditary with TSE;b3 can only express in poetry the stage I have actually reached, and I am quite aware that I have a long way to go. I am aware that I am naturally Calvinist and therefore qua Catholic have Jansenist tendencies4 (I shan’t stop to explain these terms now!) and that the Christian virtue of Hope is one for which I have to make a rather painful struggle. I am aware, to employ the terms of ‘ascetic theology’, that I have only proceeded a certain distance along the ‘purgative’ way, and am yet a stranger to the ‘illuminative way’: myWilliams, Charlesdies;a8 friend Charles Williams, who died two weeks ago,5 knew much more about this. And I am aware that a firm hold of Christian hope would produce a serenity and radiance in all one’s life, that benefits everyone who comes into contact with it. I would only draw the distinction between a naturally ‘sunny temperament’ and the operation of grace. Even the former is to be admired, for it is a help to others, so far as it does not maintain its sunniness simply by ignoring such unpleasantness as comes within its horizon. I know that it is possible to be cheerful, kind and loving in private life, and at the same time aware of the appalling state of the world at present, and even with the feeling which I have very strongly that we are descending into a very dark age indeed.
Where I am in the dark is here: that I feel that what you say on this matter has some bearing on the rest of your letter, and I am not sure quite what. I mean, whether the implication is, that if I believed ‘in finding the beautiful, the divine in this life’, that I should do something about it, and, if so, what I should do?
ItHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9and the prospect of VHE's death;f7 seems to me that you add an unspoken complication to your question, which makes more difficult the precise form of the answer. IfHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE's reasons against marrying;c5 you are wondering whether my attitude towards divorce has changed, or whether it might not change, I can only say that I can see nothing that would change it except a complete loss of the Christian faith; and I cannot believe that if such a thing happened, I should then be likely to be a sort of person who could be acceptable to you. There is no possibility in this world except a death; which is not likely, and the thought of which I have considered sinful and to be put away from me with constant effort. The question then seems to be, one of a choice for you: and whatever my answer is to your expressed question, it seems to me a choice for you to make without taking my answer into account. If I have misinterpreted, forgive me; but, if not, then you must come to see that this is not a matter on which I ought to say anything that might possibly influence your decision, or on which you ought to take my feelings into account. I don’t think it would be fair to ask me; it wouldn’t even be fair to be afraid of hurting me. Nothing could give me more, or more enduring pain, than the thought that you should deliberately sacrifice a genuine chance of happiness in this world, out of loyalty, or fear of giving pain, or for the shadow which is all I am in a position to give as a substitute for substance. The pain of that thought would come between us more effectually than any decision you could make.
So how much can I say? It is true that after six years without seeing each other, we have no doubt both been changed by the abnormal events and circumstances among which we have lived. It is true that in the way of mental material, we have had to live on common stock, and probably we have both become more confirmed in mental attitudes without the opportunity for reciprocal influence. I trust that neither of us has become merely a creature of environment. I am not aware of any fundamental change in my feelings, except the change which takes place in everybody according to their time of life. IHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9if TSE were not married;c3 do not repudiate the past, and that [sc. the] fact that it was not a relationship such as the world understands, or indeed such as the world believes possible, preserves it uncontaminated – though I must add that I should have preferred and should still prefer the reality – so that it could be both lawful and permanent.
If I laid, as you say, a ‘responsibility’ upon you, I do not want to feel that you regard it as an obligation. In plain words, I should never want to marry anyone else: that would be for me as impossible a change of personality as abandoning my Christian beliefs and principles. But there is nothing more to look forward to or hope for than what has been: I don’t want to offer fairy gold that turns to dead leaves; and I should be far happier believing you to be happy – you should know that the fear that I have interfered in your life far more than I was aware of or had any right to do, has always haunted me.
I shall of course destroy your letter now, though I should have preferred to keep it until you answer this, so that I might be able to see more clearly if I have misunderstood it in any way. I shall send this by air mail. As I have to go to Cambridge this weekend, I may not have the opportunity to write again for a fortnight anyway.
1.The Roosevelt family had been prominent in New York society, politics and business since Claes Maartenszen van Rosenvelt settled there in the mid-17th century and acquired 50 acres of farmland in what is now mid-Manhattan. While F. D. Roosevelt and Theodore Roosevelt were quite distantly related, F.D.’s wife was Theodore Roosevelt’s niece Eleanor Roosevelt.
2.HarryTruman, Harry S. S. Truman (1884–1972) – 34th Vice President of the USA since 20 Jan. 1945 – succeeded as 33rd President on the death of Franklin D. Roosevelt on 12 Apr. 1945. He was to authorise the first use of nuclear weapons against Japan in Aug. 1945. He went on to implement the Marshall Plan to re-establish the postwar economy of Western Europe; and he set up both the Truman Doctrine and NATO (to contain the threat of Communist expansion).
3.The British General Election was to be held on 5 July 1945.
4.Jansenism, a heretical movement derived from the writings of the 17th-century Dutch theologian Cornelius Jansen, emphasises the primacy of sin, human depravity, divine grace and predestination.
5.Charles Williams died on 15 May. TSE compiled an obituary for The Times, 17 May 1945: CProse 6, 623–4. See too TSE’s broadcast on 5 Oct. 1946: ‘The Significance of Charles Williams’: CProse 6, 722–6.
6.The phrase ‘and grateful’ seems to have been added as a second thought to the sign-off.
2.HarryTruman, Harry S. S. Truman (1884–1972) – 34th Vice President of the USA since 20 Jan. 1945 – succeeded as 33rd President on the death of Franklin D. Roosevelt on 12 Apr. 1945. He was to authorise the first use of nuclear weapons against Japan in Aug. 1945. He went on to implement the Marshall Plan to re-establish the postwar economy of Western Europe; and he set up both the Truman Doctrine and NATO (to contain the threat of Communist expansion).
5.CharlesWilliams, Charles Williams (1886–1945), novelist, poet, playwright, writer on religion and theology; biographer; member of the Inklings: see Biographical Register.