[1418 East 63d St., Seattle]

T. S.Eliot
EmilyHale
TS
Faber & Faber Ltd
13 August 1931
My dear Saint,

Of course, my dear cherub, that is by no means all there is to say – from my point of view; but I wanted first to take your point of view, and try to show you that even if you are right about yourself you are not particularly right – for anyone with enough sensibility might feel the same way – and that even if you are right, you are wrong in your way of taking it. And again, your sense of failure is not unique. ToHale, Emilypresents herself as cossetted;a8 others, certainly to me, it seems that your picture of yourself as a person who has always been protected and coddled, is grotesque. It seems to me that you have had a very difficult and lonely life, that everything has gone against you, and that you have made the very best of what was possible. Oh, I know that some relatives and friends have been very kind to you, no doubt; but that merely mitigates the hardness of circumstances against you.

FRIDAY 14 August. It is a great relief to me to get your letter of the 3d this morning; a wonderful week for me – to have two letters within five days! … Yes, it seems to me that you have been making the most of your opportunities, and that you have kept on with a solitary pride which I very much admire; and what is more, you have not just got to one point and staid [sic] there, like most people, who cease very early to try to be anything more. AsHale, Emilyblames herself for an unfulfilled life;a9 for the promise of youth as shown in photographs, not being fulfilled, it is not your fault, my poor child; but who knows what kind of fulfilment of personality you may yet have? You are going on growing, and that is the main thing; and it is very rare. I should love to have more early photographs of you, however sad they would be to me. When I look over my own, of which I have a good many, I feel the same way, up to a point; but with me, there is a long period of delayed adolescence the photographs of which I loathe – here is one, a passport taken about 1921 – doesn’t it look a weak, silly, undeveloped youth – and yet I was of quite mature years, and had been through all sorts of hell, there is nothing in the portrait to show it. You cannot imagine how dissatisfied with myself I still am: I hope I may have arrived somewhere by the age of 60!

YouChristianitysins, vices, faults;d5the sense of sin;a2 see, I didn’t, of all things, want to give you the impression that I wished to ‘jolly’ you into thinking that a sense of sin (for you, anyway) is all nonsense.1 On the contrary, I believe it to be most valuable and important, when properly handled, and I rejoice that you have it. I have been attacked – or rather sneered at – in print, sometimes for being a ‘Puritan’ and sometimes for being a ‘Catholic’, but both sides have assumed that the two were antithetical. But I have found that the more Catholic I become the more ‘Puritanical’ I am also; only I have, I hope, learned a little humility, which is the foundation of all morals. IndeedChristianityvirtues heavenly and capital;e1propinquitous to humour;b9, there is nothing nearer to Humility than the Sense of Humour – for surely the person with a real sense of humour is the person who can laugh at himself – and that is a form of humility. So you see, the wish expressed at the end of my last letter was not so flippant as it may have sounded.

But don’t say that you ‘will not let such a flood of intensity break over me again’; because I do not want you to decide beforehand how you are going to be, with me; I want you just to let yourself go as you feel at the moment. Will you please promise that again? For this last letter but one has meant, I think, one more stage in mutual understanding; and that is the most exciting adventure of my life: to explore and to get to know you as I never have and never shall know anyone else.

But I shall have much more to say in reply to your letters. Meanwhile, my dear Dove, I hope that having had two letters this week I may still hope for one next week – and I am waiting for your answer to my answer to a question of yours which troubled me – and thank you for your news, to which I shall reply on Monday.

à toujours
Tom.

1.Cf. The Cocktail Party:

——REILLY

You suffer from a sense of sin, Miss Coplestone?

This is most unusual.

——CELIA

—————————It seemed to me abnormal.

——REILLY

We have yet to find what would be normal————540

For you, before we use the term ‘abnormal’.

Tell me what you mean by a sense of sin.

——CELIA

It’s much easier to tell you what I don’t mean:

I don’t mean sin in the ordinary sense.

——REILLY

And what, in your opinion, is the ordinary sense?

——CELIA

Well … I suppose it’s being immoral –

And I don’t feel as if I was immoral:

In fact, aren’t the people one thinks of as immoral

Just the people who we say have no moral sense?

I’ve never noticed that immorality———————550

Was accompanied by a sense of sin:

At least, I have never come across it.

Christianity, and human isolation, and modern economics, Ada on TSE's personal piety, scheme for 'Pro Fide' bookshop, among the Eliot family, and beauty, its sects like different clubs, Anglo-Catholicism, TSE's conversion to, which he dates to Eccleston Square meeting, Anglican Missal sought for EH, but unfortunately out of print, discussed at Boston Theological School, and the Petrine Claims, apostolic succession, over Roman Catholicism, as refuge from VHE, and the Reformation, asceticism, discipline, rigour, the necessity for, and TSE's daily exhortation, making and breaking habits, mastering emotions and passions, as salubrious, only remedy for a prurient culture, confession and communion, more possible during Harvard year, the case for unattainable ideals, in time of war, gets TSE up before 7 o'clock, hereditary with TSE, belief, and good poetry, faced with Second World War, and conversion, antidote to TSE's skepticism, Christendom, TSE ponders the decline of, TSE on his prominence within, its ruin, the Church Visible and Invisible, and TSE's war work, the Malabar Church, prospect of total reunion within, confession, helps to objectify sin, more dreaded than dentist, harder in the morning, death and afterlife, the struggle to prepare for, consoles TSE in life, and cremation, Requiem Mass, gives meaning to life, and what makes a desirable burial place, the nature of eternal life, divorce, unrecognised by Anglo-Catholic Church, which TSE regrets, in church law, would separate TSE from Church, evil, TSE's belief in, and moral percipience, guilt, and the New England conscience, hell, TSE's 1910 vision of, and damnation, according to TSE, liturgy, TSE's weekly minimum, Mass of the Pre-sanctified, Requiem Mass versus Mass of Good Friday, and whether to serve at Mass, Imposition of Ashes, at Christmas, High Mass over Mattins, aversion to Low Church Mattins, Roman service in Wayland, Tenebrae, in country parish church, as guest at Kelham, remarkable sermon, over Christmas, Tenebrae and Family Reunion, during Holy Week, Mass of Charles King and Martyr, love, loving one's neighbour, marriage, TSE's need for privacy within, mysticism and transcendence, interpenetration of souls, intimations of life's 'pattern', 'doubleness', arrived at through reconciliation, orthodoxy, only remedy for contemporary culture, and pagans, sets TSE at odds with modernity, necessarily trinitarian, 'Christian' defined, iniquities of liberal theology, and creed, authority, Transubstantiation, TSE disclaims 'self-centredness' in maintaining, politics, the Church and social change, how denomination maps onto, need for working-class priests, church leaders against totalitarianism and Nazism, Christianity versus Fascism and Communism, Papal Encyclical against Nazi Germany, the 'Dividend morality', Presbyterianism, TSE quips on the meanness of, Quakerism, resignation, reconciliation, peace, TSE's love allows for, 'peace that passeth all understanding', the struggle to maintain, following separation from VHE, retreat and solitude, EH at Senexet, the need for, a need increasing with age, and TSE's mother, Roman Catholicism, TSE's counter-factual denomination, Rome, sacraments, Holy Communion, marriage, sainthood, TSE's idea of, the paradoxes of, susceptible of different sins, sins, vices, faults, how to invigilate, the sense of sin, the sinner's condition, bound up with the virtues, as a way to virtue, TSE's self-appraisal, when humility shades into, when unselfishness shades into, among saints, proportionate to spiritual progress, daydreaming, despair, lust, pride, perfection-seeking pride, spiritual progress and direction, TSE's crisis of 1910–11, EH's crisis, versus automatism, TSE's sense of, towards self-knowledge, in EH's case, as personal regeneration, temptation, to action/busyness, the Church Year, Advent, Christmas, dreaded, happily over, TSE rebuked for bah-humbugging, church trumps family during, season of irreligion, thoughts of EH during, unsettling, fatiguing, in wartime, Easter preferred to, Ash Wednesday, Lent, season for meditation and reading, prompts thoughts of EH, Lady Day, Holy Week, its intensity, arduous, preserved from public engagements, exhausting but refreshing, excitingly austere, Easter, better observed than Christmas, missed through illness, Unitarianism, the Eliots' as against EH's, the prospect of spiritual revival within, as personified by TSE's grandfather, regards the Bible as literature, as against Catholicism, divides EH from TSE, and whether Jesus believed himself divine, according to Dr Perkins, in England as against America, over-dependent on preachers' personality, TSE's wish that EH convert from, outside TSE's definition of 'Christian', the issue of communion, baptism, impossibly various, virtues heavenly and capital, bound up with the vices, better reached by way of sin, charity, towards others, in Bubu, TSE's intentness on, delusions of, as against tolerance, chastity, celibacy, beneath humility, TSE lacks vocation for, faith, and doubt, hope, a duty, TSE's struggle for, humility, distinguished from humiliation, comes as relief, greatest of the virtues, propinquitous to humour, not an Eliot virtue, opposed to timidity, danger of pride in, is endless, TSE criticised for overdoing, theatre a lesson in, most difficult of the virtues, possessed by EH, possessed by EH to a fault, TSE compares himself to EH in, the paradox of, distinguished from inferiority, self-discovery teaches, possessed by Dr Perkins, patience, recommended to EH, its foundations, possessed by Uncle John, purity, distinguished from purification, temperance, with alcohol, beneath humility,
Hale, Emily, visits the Eliots for tea, returns to Boston, likened to TSE's mother, TSE identifies with her 'reserve', encouraged to write for periodicals, visits West Rindge, summers in Seattle, presents herself as cossetted, blames herself for an unfulfilled life, returns to Boston, consulted over TSE's Norton Professorship, holidays in Castine, vacations in New Bedford, TSE fears accident befalling, travels to stay in Seattle, Frank Morley on Ada on, arrives in California, brought to tears by music, goes horse-riding, baited over how to boil an egg, TSE passes old school of, takes motoring holiday via San Francisco, summers in Seattle, TSE composes squib for, takes TSE's hand in dream, returned to California, TSE sends Harvard Vocarium record, holidays in West Rindge, returns to Boston before embarking for England, arrives in England, to travel to Paris, returns to London, feels inferior to 'brilliant society', invited to Sweeney Agonistes rehearsal, attends Richard II with TSE, attends Sweeney Agonistes, takes TSE to Gielgud's Hamlet, taken to see Stravinsky conducting, leaves for Italy, takes tea at OM's before leaving, mistaken for TSE's sister, returns to Florence, sails for the Riviera, returns from France, returns to Chipping Campden, to Guernsey with Jeanie McPherrin, taken to Henry IV on return, shares open taxi with TSE through Parks and Whitehall, and TSE attend The Gondoliers, visit to the Russian ballet, invited to Murder in Canterbury, and TSE attend 1066 And All That, taken to Tovaritch, and Morleys set for ballet, which she excuses herself from, criticised for flower-arranging, and TSE walk in the Cotswolds, feels inferior to Margaret Thorp, and TSE theatre-going with Thorps, taken to Timon of Athens, taken to Peer Gynt, visited at Campden for TSE's birthday, takes lodgings in Oxford, lodges at 19 Rosary Gardens, watches TSE read to Student Christian Movement, and TSE visit Kenwood House, dines with the Maritains, describes tea with the Woolfs, returns to America, visits Ada on Boston homecoming, possible career-move into politics, pays winter visit to Rindge, and Eleanor Hinkley attend New York Murder, moves to 154 Riverway with Perkinses, considers volunteering for charity, living at 5 Clement Circle, holidays in Cataumet, returns abruptly to Cambridge, recuperates in New Hampshire, moves to 240 Crescent St., Northampton, Mass., lectures at Concord, returns to Brimmer Street, returns to Boston during vacation, sails for England, in residence at Chipping Campden, travels to Yorkshire, returned to Chipping Campden, returns and moves to 22 Paradise Road, Northampton, Mass., spends Thanksgiving in Boston, stays at Hotel Lincolnshire with the Perkinses, vacations at New Bedford, visits New York, holidays in Charleston, as patron of school, returns to Northampton, sails for England, day at Windsor with TSE, fortnight at Campden with TSE, at Campden with TSE again, returns to America with 'Boerre', ordered to stay in America in case of war, given Family Reunion draft with her comments, encouraged to write drama criticism, vacations in New Bedford, advises TSE against Tewkesbury choruses, holidays with the Havenses, sails for England, at Chipping Campden, stays with the Adam Smiths in Scotland, returns to America with Perkinses, safely returned, sent copy of TSE's daily prayers, sent first CNL, sends TSE selected American plays, holidays in New Bedford, spends Easter in Harwichport, holiday destinations, holidays in Cape Cod, returns to the Perkinses at 90 Commonwealth Avenue, stays with Elsmiths in Woods Hole, holidays on Grand Manan, visits Perkinses in Boston, returns to 90 Commonwealth Avenue, holidays in Madison, Wisc., travels on to Maine, holidays on Grand Manan, holidays in Bangor, Maine, as president of S. P. C. A., spends Christmas holiday in New Bedford, holidays in Woods Hole, loans out her Eliotana, removes from Smith to the Perkinses, spends time in Maine, repairs to New Bedford, spends time in Tryon, N. C., returned to Boston, spends three days in New York, shares details of will, holidays on Grand Manan, leaves TSE portrait in event of predeceasing him, late summer in New Brunswick, vacations in New Bedford, repairs to New Bedford, resident in Millbrook, takes short holiday at 'Bleak House', holidays on Grand Manan, visits Woods Hole, visits New Bedford, holidays in New Bedford, spends holiday at Sylvia Knowles's, holidays in Dorset, Vt., holidays briefly in Farmington, holidaying on Grand Manan, TSE seeks Trojan Women translation for, moves to 9 Lexington Road, gives Christmas readings, congratulates TSE on OM, urges TSE not to despair at honours, spends Easter in Boston, race-relations and the WPA, sings Bach's B Minor Mass, removes from Concord to Andover, on life in Grand Manan, congratulates TSE on Nobel Prize, resident at 35 School Street, Andover, summers between Boston, Woods Hole, New Bedford and Grand Manan, recounts journey to Grand Manan, takes The Cocktail Party personally, then repents of doing so, post-Christmas stay in New Bedford, reports on Cocktail Party's opening, summers between Chocorua and Campobello, tours westward to California during summer holiday, attends British Drama League summer school, holidays in Grand Manan, asks TSE for occasional poem, week in the Virgin Islands, summers between Mount Desert and California, spends holidays in New Bedford, recuperates in New Bedford, returns, briefly to Chipping Campden, Eleanor Hinkley reports on, writes to EVE, sends EVE photograph of TSE, makes tour of Scandinavia, approaches TSE on Smith's behalf, which approach TSE declines, writes to TSE on GCF's death, moves back to Concord, pays visit to Seattle, reacts to TSE's death, writes to EVE, meets EVE, dies, appearance and characteristics, her shapely neck, TSE's memory for certain of her old dresses, particularly four dresses, which TSE then describes, TSE begs EH to describe her clothing, in silk, autumn 1930, costumed in a 'Titian wig', EH encouraged to gain weight, EH encouraged to tan, her Jantzen suit, TSE begs a slip of hair from, her gold-and-green tea gown, her Praxitelean nose, EH congratulated on 'perm', EH refuses TSE lock of hair, her voice, Guardsman dress, as a Botticelli Madonna, her hands, recommended skin-cream, 'new goldy dress', TSE inquires after, in TSE's dreams, 'new and nuder' swimsuit demanded, her black dress/red jacket outfit, dressed in blue, in charming black dress, her sense of humour, her New England conscience, the famous apricot dress, her hair, various dresses, EH's idea of new dresses, EH hair cut in the new style, blue dress worn following masque, as actor, as Olivia in Twelfth Night, in the Cambridge Dramatic club, as Roxane in Cyrano in 1915/16, as Judith Bliss in Hay Fever, EH considers giving up for teaching, in the 'stunt show' with TSE, as Beatrice, TSE hopes, in The Footlight Club, in Berkeley Square, in The Yellow Jacket, EH praised over Ruth Draper, under Ellen van Volkenburg, cast as an octogenarian, in The Old Lady Shows Her Medals, TSE speculates as to her future in, and teaching, as Lady Bracknell, TSE begs to write part for, in The Footlight Club, potentially in summer theatre company, as the Duchess of Devonshire, potentially in The Family Reunion, Cambridge Dramatic club reunion, The Wingless Victory, in masque with TSE, in a Van Druten play, as Lodovico Sforza, in play by Laurence Housman, as Madame Arcati in Blithe Spirit, with Paul Stephenson, in Kind Lady, joins the Dorset Players, as director ('producer'), La Locandiera, Lady Gregory's The Dragon, Dust of the Road, Comus, possibly temporarily at St. Catherine's, Va., chorus work at Smith, Electra, Quality Street, The Merchant of Venice, Dear Brutus, Christmas play, Richard II, Hay Fever, Christmas pantomime, The Dorset Players, a reading of Outward Bound, Molnár's The Swan, Dulcy, The School for Scandal, Fanny and the Servant Problem, Dear Brutus again, Twelfth Night, Prunella, Christmas play, Antigone, The Merry Wives of Windsor, As You Like It, The Admirable Crichton, Holy Night, The Tempest, as teacher, EH lectures on 'Modern British Verse', as a career, at Milwaukee-Downer College, Mich., at Simmons College, Boston, EH considers post at Scripps, which she accepts, arrives at Scripps, establishes drama workshop at Scripps, EH lectures on TSE, EH's advice that TSE lecture less slowly, as described by Scripps student, and being admired by students, TSE sees her teaching as a kind of acting, requests year's leave from Scripps, resigns position at Scripps, declares intention to teach again, possibly, temporarily, at St. Catherine's, Va., possibly at Smith, post at St. Catherine's rejected, appointed to position at Smith, is installed at Smith, reappointed with pay-rise, reappointed again for two years, her work at Smith, unsettled at Smith, in time of war, insecure over job at Smith, from which EH takes 'sabbatical', let go by Smith, takes job at Concord Academy, appointed to post at Bennett Junior College, Millbrook, appointment to permanent Concord position, EH thinks of giving up, lectures on Family Reunion, her work at Concord Academy, resignation from Concord Academy, takes permanent position at Abbot, EH admits to being sheltered by, retirement from Abbot, according to Abbot Academy tribute, birthdays, presents and love-tokens, EH's birthday compared to TSE's, TSE sends Terry–Shaw correspondence for EH's birthday, EH sends TSE pomme purée, present from EH, flowers for EH's birthday arrive too soon, EH wearing TSE's ring, two rings bought for EH, EH bought typewriter, TSE 'cables' EH roses, TSE consults EH over potential present, TSE's second 'sapphire' ring for, EH refits new rings from TSE, TSE receives flowers for Christmas, EH given 'powder box' for Christmas, EH's present to TSE goes amiss, missing present (calendar) explained, EH left cigarettes by TSE, EH gives TSE cigarette case, TSE necklace-hunting for EH, pearls suggested for EH, EH bought sapphire bracelet, EH gives TSE a signet ring, EH bought blue-gray scarf, EH gives TSE silk handkerchiefs, TSE has signet ring engraved, further ring sought for EH, EH with TSE on his birthday, EH gives TSE initialled leather portfolio, TSE given ashtrays and matchbox, furs sought for EH, EH gives TSE stool, roses sent to EH on birthday, TSE given diary and hairbrush box, TSE given rosary and print, EH buys TSE towel rails, TSE receives diary for Christmas, 1810 ring bought for EH, EH buys TSE various ties, war means no flowers, EH's lapis lazuli ring, TSE neglects to cable EH, EH knits socks for TSE, which turn out large, EH sends TSE 'snowflake' socks, EH remembers TSE's birthday with reference to Shakespeare, TSE sent marmalade and liver-paste, EH writes poem for TSE's birthday, EH sends TSE provisions, EH loses sapphire from ring, diamond circlet given to EH in 1939, EH gives TSE socks for Christmas, TSE gives EH 'evening bag', EH unthanked for Christmas present, correspondence with TSE, TSE petitions EH to bestow on the Bodleian, TSE exalts as authoritative, TSE envisions as reading-group, the only writing TSE enjoys, TSE as Cyrano to EH's Roxane, TSE's dependence on, TSE's nights spent planning, TSE rereads with pleasure, the strain of interruption, switches to Air Mail, TSE on his decision to renew, TSE marks first anniversary of, keeps TSE sane, TSE hopes to telephone, TSE wishes to maintain when in America, EH would withhold from the Bodleian bequest, from which TSE tries to dissuade her, TSE violently dependent on, TSE begs EH that it be preserved, less exciting to EH than at first, TSE's horror of sounding sermonic, if such a correspondence were profitable, and TSE's respectful reticence, EH suggests entrusting to Willard Thorp, but subsequently explains she meant Margaret Thorp, EH's to do with as pleases, and the prospect of TSE writing every night, TSE still rereads with pleasure, excites TSE too much to write smoothly, compared with talking, phone call finally arranged, which finally takes place, EH importuned to write more, TSE promises three letters a week, EH refuses more than one, a solitude within a solitude, EH switches to typewriter, which TSE offers to buy, observed weekly by EH's students, flatters TSE most when EH writes undutifully, TSE's dread of EH rationing, TSE's efforts to moderate himself within, TSE imagines the unsealing of, TSE offers to cease, a place to vent one's feelings, TSE rebuked for 'intolerance' within, EH learns to type, hinders TSE from work, TSE on life before, third anniversary marked, thwarted by TSE's self-loathing, TSE doubts having pursued, restraints on TSE's ardour lifted, more constrained by day, TSE worries about burdening EH with, worth TSE getting home early for, by day, by night, TSE specially treasures recent 'love letters', more delightful since EH's reciprocation, and TSE's diminished ardour, switches to transatlantic airmail, constrained by war, opened by censor, and Shamley Green post-office, TSE apologises for, EH free to dispose of, within limits, particularly constrained by EH's letter of 1939, and the experience of delay, TSE equivocates on preserving, varied with airgraph, again, EH's to do with as she pleases, still intended for Bodleian, TSE chastened for short cables, TSE's letters 'undemonstrative and impersonal', post-war frequency, being and not being loving by letter, EH asks TSE to reduce, TSE criticised for following monthly injunction, TSE rebuked for impersonality, EH formally bequeaths to Princeton, TSE unfussed as to repository, TSE reiterates 50-year prohibition, TSE's worries as to future appearances, EH promises Princeton her statement on, promises letters with ten-year seal, attempts to shorten TSE's moratorium, which TSE refuses, which forces EH to relent, TSE encouraged to return EH's letters, EH deposits further material with Princeton, EH makes 'recording' for Princeton, EH renews plea to shorten moratorium, and is again refused, TSE destroys EH's letters, TSE repents of severe letter, which EH never receives, EH suspects TSE of destroying her letters, EH instructs Princeton to discard 'recording', EH ultimately respects TSE's wishes, EH on TSE's destruction of her letters, family, her father, her childhood compared to TSE's, TSE desires family history of, EH encouraged to keep younger company, EH's unity with parents, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH's relations with aunt and uncle, EH photographed with parents, and EH's obligations to, finances, health, physical and mental, admits to breakdown, TSE compares 'nightmares' with, TSE's desire to nurse, suffers neuritis, then neuralgia, recommended suncream, suffers arthritis, suffers with sinuses, her teeth, experiences insomnia, suffers 'hives', suffers crisis body and soul, feels depressed over Christmas, suffers neuralgia, suffers intestinal flu, has shingles, admitted to hospital, convalesces on Grand Manan, recuperates in Washington, Conn., photographs of, as a child, Edith Sitwellesque photograph, in 18th-century costume, in 18th-century French costume, in broad-brimmed 'picture' hat, TSE buys Kodak, in deck-chair, eating sandwich, in a car, 'the Beautiful one', which TSE has enlarged for his dressing-table, painful, because taken in the 'interim', in bacchanalian pose, 'Semitic', among young people, set 'Elizabeth' giggling, Diana Mannersesque, are mnemonic aids to TSE, kneeling beside can of flowers, TSE's favourite, with ordinarily sized hands, smoking in chair, as child with big ears, taken on TSE's arrival in Claremont, in Jane Austen fashion, in unfamiliar jacket, taken in autumn, with mother and father, as a child, in TSE's note-case throughout Blitz, in Wingless Victory, as child, in gold frame, in familiar jacket, taken with Boerre, surround TSE at Shamley, with baby, in a group, of EH's portrait, in sailor suit, all inadequate, carrying lamp, with Rag Doll, at Campobello, reading, Henry James, Letters from Baron Friedrich von Hügel to a Niece, All Passion Spent, Bubu de Montparnasse, F&F thriller, Eyeless in Gaza, Dante, Hopkins and Roosevelt, Henry Irving: The Actor and His World, relationship with TSE, TSE's first acquaintance with, its abnormality, runs to admiration from EH, and TSE's habitual reserve, its morality under examination, defended by TSE, its susceptibilities envisaged by TSE, EH admits estrangement within, and TSE's desire for intimacies, provokes sorrow and fury in TSE, confided to the Perkinses, Miss Ware and Father Underhill, TSE's chance to be frivolous, and the prospect of TSE's Harvard year, TSE dates first meeting to 1905, whereas EH dates to 1915, TSE's terror of renewing in California, teaches TSE true companionship, runs to a 'kiss', as perpetual progress and revelation, EH offered manumission from, if TSE were not married, seems more real for TSE's American year, TSE's reasons against marrying, TSE fears having misled over, EH again offered manumission from, EH writes to Ada concerning, EH blames TSE for his ardour, then apologises for blaming TSE, leads to unhappiness in EH, possible drain on EH's health, its perceived inequalities, pity and gratitude would corrupt, TSE conditionally promises marriage, TSE sees as an imposition on EH, potentially richer for meeting TSE's friends, EH 'kisses' TSE, EH rests head on TSE's shoulder, EH strokes TSE's face, as consubstantial union, TSE's love finally reciprocated, mutual embraces, EH kissed on the right foot, TSE favoured with birthday kiss, exhausting, should proceed without hope of marriage, TSE again regrets misleading EH, as one of mutual dependence, its unsatisfactions, its seasonal rhythm, but for VHE would be marriage, EH seeks post-war clarity on, and the prospect of VHE's death, following VHE's death, TSE reflects on the deterioration of, TSE reflects generally on, and men and women generally, according to Theresa Eliot, EH reflects on, since TSE discounted marriage, had TSE behaved differently in 1914, its new dispensation, source of mutual anguish, apropos of TSE's second marriage, EH's marriage regret, EH recoils from publicising, TSE re-evaluates, EH writes to EVE about, religious beliefs and practices, claims experience of 'vision', admits suffering spiritual crisis, goes on retreat, and TSE's definition of sainthood, compared to TSE's, professes to resent the Church, makes retreat to Senexet, the issue of communion, the possibility of confirmation, source of worry to EH, confronts TSE on religious differences, TSE on her 'Christian spirit', fears TSE considers her damned, TSE pointedly refrains from criticising, unclear to TSE, TSE's love for, and their conversation in Eccleston Square, declared, in 1915, and TSE's desire to be EH's spiritual possession, source of serenity to TSE, the strangeness of not broadcasting, first felt in 1913, recognised by TSE the night of Tristan und Isolde, TSE's reasons for not declaring in 1913, what TSE said instead of declaring, a pain of sorts, unconfided to friends, not immune to jealousy of EH's male friends, its passion tempered by religion, and the torment of resignation, defiled by possessiveness and anger, and a particular journey back from Pasadena, in light of California stay, increases his desire to quarrel with EH, TSE doubts decision to declare, eternally unconditional, shows TSE true meaning of tenderness, defined by TSE, violent, clarified and strengthened by Chipping Campden reunion, disquiets EH, obstructive to EH loving another, TSE initially relieved to find unrequited, queered by inexperience, TSE repents of over-prizing, startles TSE, like 'a burglar', strengthened and deepened, irrespective of physical beauty, finally reciprocated, ideal when unreciprocated, relieved only by poetry, as against love's travesties, as expressed in Burnt Norton, over time, apparently undimmed but dwarfed by war, and the first time TSE spoke EH's name, thwarted by question of divorce, EH questions, now better adjusted to reality, argument over communion challenges, would run to jealously but not marriage, as expressed in 1914 on Chestnut Hill, TSE's names, nicknames and terms of endearment for, 'Lady', 'Dove', 'My saint', 'Bienaimée', TSE's reason for calling her 'Dove', 'Isolde', 'My Lady', 'Emilie', 'Princess', 'Lady bird', 'Birdie', 'riperaspberrymouth', 'Emily of Fire & Violence', 'Bouche-de-Fraise', 'Bouch-de-Framboise', 'Raspberrymouth', not 'Wendy', 'Nightingale', 'Mocking Bird', 'Love', 'My true love', 'my Self', 'Emilia' and Shelley's Epipsychidion, 'my Own', 'Girl', 'Western Star', 'Darling', 'My Life', 'My Lamb', 'Beloved my Female', 'My own Woman', writings, an article on 'Weimar', letter to The Times about King's jubilee, account of communion at Beaulieu, EH asks to write about TSE, review of La Machine infernale, review of Dangerous Corner, a note for S. P. C. A., an 'epigram', 'Actors at Alnwick', 'An Etching', 'The Giocanda Smile', 'The Personal Equation in Spoken English', 'A Play from Both Sides of the Footlights', 'Summer Sunshine: A Memory of Miss Minna Hall', 'They flash upon the inward eye',