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I have had a tiring day, rather: aPierce, Ross E.'somewhat psychopathic';a3 somewhat psychopathic American poet from Buffalo at 12.30 and a psychopathic English poet from Sydenham at 5, andBell, Clivehosts lunch-party;b1 inGrant, Duncanat Clive Bell's lunch-party;a3 betweenHartley, Leslie Poles ('L. P.')at Clive Bell's lunch-party;a1 aTennant, Pamela Winefred, Lady Glenconnerat Clive Bell's lunch-party;a1 pleasant lunch party at Clive Bell’s (Duncan Grant, Leslie Hartley1 and Lady Glenconner2) which lasted on and was late in starting (lunch parties are usually more tiring than dinner parties). Tomorrow, Saturday, I have to take charge of the office in the morning (‘Take charge’ sounds perhaps too important, I mean that it is my turn as director to be there in case of anything important turning up), thenBelgion, Montgomerytakes TSE and Saurat to the Ivy;a9 lunchSaurat, Denis;a1 with Montgomery Belgion and Denis Saurat,3 andKennerleys, thewatch Modern Times with TSE;a2 dine with the Kennerleys and go on to see the new Chaplin film.
IKrausses, the;a2 cannotHale, Emilyas teacher;w1possibly, temporarily, at St. Catherine's, Va.;b8 helpSt. Catherine's School, Richmond, Va.then reconsiders;a3 hoping that you may still make some satisfactory arrangement with Virginia, though I appreciate the Krauss’s objections. If it is simply occupying two or three months when you would otherwise be idle in Boston, andHale, Emilyas director ('producer');v9possibly temporarily at St. Catherine's, Va.;a5 keeping your hand in as well in producing plays, I am in favour of it. If it is in the least likely to stand in the way of your chances of getting something better and more permanent, then of course I am against it. But you know, more or less, what I think about Boston, and that the less time you have to spend there the better for you. I am assuming that the school would at least rise to your terms: a hundred dollars, board and lodging and washing, and your fare both ways. IAmericaCalifornia;d3TSE regrets EH leaving;c2 think that California was doing something for you, that you had never had the chance of before, and that this development and expansion was to a large extent arrested while you were in Europe – because in Europe you were still more or less in Boston.
IHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE conditionally promises marriage;d6 have been thinking a great deal, of late, about our relations present and future. WeHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9TSE's reasons against marrying;c5 may and do hope that we may be ultimately united. But we know that there is very little on which to build such a hope. I cannot see that there will be any change in church law, combined with a change in common law, that would make it possible for my marriage to be dissolved – however far from ‘marriage’ it has been in a spiritual or in any but a legal sense. I do not say that such a thing could not happen: just as I might be freed by death. ButHale, Emilyrelationship with TSE;w9should proceed without hope of marriage;e9 I do feel this: that it would be a bad thing for us to live on a remotely possible future, to have it in our minds all the time; and I think we ought to learn to live – it is easier to begin now while we are apart – as if things would always be as they are. It is only real love if we face such a possibility. But what I am thinking of is our well-being, your well-being, in the present. To live always in the thought of what might be is a fearful exasperation for our nerves. Of course, if you had been staying longer in London, so that we should have been continuing to see each other all the time, we should have had to arrange some modus vivendi, because the strain would have been too much for us. It was right to be as frank about our feelings as we were, it was right to be as much in each other’s company as we were. I think we ought to behave as if we should never be united. That won’t prevent it happening; and if it ever does, we can only be the more thankful to God and the more appreciative of what we get, because of not having counted upon it.
Darling, I do hope that you understand me. You know that if any lawful opportunity of freedom comes, I should grasp it. You know that I love you and have never loved anyone but you and that I am incapable of loving anyone but you, that you are the only woman in the world upon whom I can lavish my devotion and tenderness. I won’t at this moment talk about all that you are in my eyes, or praise your beauty and goodness and refinement and sensitiveness; I only want to repeat my devotion and adoration now and until death and forever.
Also, I want to remind you of how much what you do give me, even as things are, means to me. I cannot, I dare not imagine, what would happen to my universe without that support.
But we must for the present concentrate upon the things of the spirit, and turn our thoughts away from the things of this world, hard as that is to do – it is both right, and healthier for us. And you know that your health is every day a matter of the utmost concern to me. And I recognise my duty to you to preserve my own health (and to make a steady effort towards calmness of mind, though content is impossible, and though I live in constant anxiety of molestation).
I don’t think I will write any more now, and I shall not refer to this subject again for the present, and I am always
1.L. P. HartleyHartley, Leslie Poles ('L. P.') (1895–1972), novelist, short-story writer and book reviewer, enjoyed a modest success with a collection of stories Night Fears (1924) and a novella, Simonetta Perkins (1925), but was to become celebrated for his Eustace and Hilda trilogy (1944–7); The Go-Between (1953; filmed by Joseph Losey, 1971), and The Hireling (1957). CBE, 1956.
2.PamelaTennant, Pamela Winefred, Lady Glenconner Winefred Paget, Lady Glenconner (1903–89), wife of Christopher Tennant, Baron Glenconner.
3.DenisSaurat, Denis Saurat (1890–1958), Anglo-French scholar, writer, broadcaster; Professor of French Language and Literature, King’s College London, 1926–50; Director of the Institut français du Royaume Uni, 1924–45; author of La Pensée de Milton (1920: Milton: Man and Thinker, 1925).
4.MontgomeryBelgion, Montgomery (‘Monty’) Belgion (1892–1973), author and journalist: see Biographical Register.
12.CliveBell, Clive Bell (1881–1964), author and critic of art: see Biographical Register.
1.DuncanGrant, Duncan Grant (1885–1978), artist and designer; lover of Vanessa Bell and David Garnett.
1.L. P. HartleyHartley, Leslie Poles ('L. P.') (1895–1972), novelist, short-story writer and book reviewer, enjoyed a modest success with a collection of stories Night Fears (1924) and a novella, Simonetta Perkins (1925), but was to become celebrated for his Eustace and Hilda trilogy (1944–7); The Go-Between (1953; filmed by Joseph Losey, 1971), and The Hireling (1957). CBE, 1956.
3.DenisSaurat, Denis Saurat (1890–1958), Anglo-French scholar, writer, broadcaster; Professor of French Language and Literature, King’s College London, 1926–50; Director of the Institut français du Royaume Uni, 1924–45; author of La Pensée de Milton (1920: Milton: Man and Thinker, 1925).