[No surviving envelope]
Letter 12, I think:
I lost count one week
I hope that you received my cable in good time, because, after a month in town, I am taking a week at the re-opened Shamley Wood, to rest from my wanderings and to get some jobs done. I wanted to be sure that if you had any news to cable, it would come to me direct. It seems possible, of course, that it may be some days before your doctors have anything to report, or you any reassurance to convey: meanwhile, you are of course unable to write letters, and I must hope that Mrs. Perkins would have sent me a cable were there any news to give. I wait very restlessly, controlling my fears by occupation as best I can. If I were near enough at hand to get full up-to-date reports continually, I should find it easier to write: but my own news seems too trivial, my thoughts impertinent, and I have not the heart to write simply to attempt to amuse or divert. I had a very busy week with meetings and conferences, ending with a weekend conference at Jordan’s, which left me very tired and with a violent but purely local cold in the nose: but after a day in bed on my return I feel perfectly well again. And to have recovered from a cold so quickly gives me more confidence for what must be the coldest, darkest and most uncomfortable winter of the war. ILittle Giddingin which JDH proved indispensable;b8 have also, I think, finishedHayward, Johnhelps TSE finish Little Gidding;k9 ‘Little Gidding’, largely with the assistance of John Hayward, who is an invaluable critic for calling attention to minor but still important flaws. IfMurder in the CathedralHoellering film;g1TSE adapting for screen;a3 so, I shall be able to turn again, with less unwillingness, to the extra dialogue for the film: an interesting task, perhaps, when there is nothing that one wants to write more urgently, but an intolerable one when it appears as an interference with something else. ButRaynes Park County Schoolinvites TSE to give talk;a2 first I have to go next Tuesday to talk to a small selection of upper boys at Raynes Park County School – the headmaster is a former young man of mine in Criterion days.
TheFabers, themove to Minsted;f2 Fabers hope to move to Sussex next week: nothing more can be done to put the flat in running order until that move is over; andde la Mares, thegive TSE wartime refuge;a6 as I do not feel inclined to camp out in it, and go out to Southampton Row for breakfast, I shall put in my London nights, for the next fortnight or so, at the De la Mares. IfSecond World WarOperation Barbarossa;c8 the coming of winter means less anxiety on some fronts, it may mean more on others: but as Russia appears to be the most important area at present, we are only anxious to see October well in.1 And I have bought some long winter underwear, such as I have not worn for a good many years.
Every time the telephone rings I listen to hear whether it is a cable for me. I wonder constantly whether, in the uncertainty in which you have been living, you have not felt very very lonely. I am sure that I should. At such a time nearly everyone, however loving, seems a long way off, and their lives immensely separate and distinct from one’s own; and I know that at such times words, though one would not be without them, are almost a barrier – certainly no substitute for a presence. I should want you to be near me; and what you said or did not say would not matter.
1.By the late summer of 1942, the German forces on the Eastern Front had made big advances in the Caucasus and were seemingly closing in on Stalingrad. TSE was right to be less concerned about North Africa. Rommel’s drive into Egypt had been stopped for good in battles at the end of Aug.
11.JohnHayward, John Davy Hayward (1905–65), editor and critic: see Biographical Register.