[1418 East 63d St., Seattle]
MyAmericaWest Rindge, New Hampshire;h9EH holidays at;a1 wait of nearly a fortnight has been more than rewarded by your letter of the 26th from West Rindge. I hope, my dear, you will not think me very guilty of querulousness or distrustfulness. Your explanation of the ‘remote’ mood is, in fact, what I wanted to give myself at the time; – but, you will understand, I think, one withholds from oneself just the explanation that one would like to make. At any rate, I do understand at once. And please, I don’t want you to try to be ‘at your best’ when you write to me – I had rather think of myself as one to whom you do not in the least mind writing when you are at your worst! and especially as your ‘best’ to me is not a matter of moods or moments but is what you are always and permanently. I shall continue to write, myself, whatever is in my head at the moment – IHale, Emilycorrespondence with TSE;w3TSE's nights spent planning;a7 sometimes plan out a letter during the night before, so as to be sure to say everything I want to say, and say it in the right way – but I always abandon any plans when the moment comes. Besides, if we could talk things out day by day, there would be no preparation, would there! I don’t even bother about grammar, as you may have noticed. And, if the communication was as I would wish it to be, and there was no need ever to write, I dare say we might now and then be a little peevish with each other, possibly? Not that I felt peevish, exactly, when I wrote – sometimes I may seem so when I am merely discontented and doubtful of myself, and I have fits of believing that I cannot really be anything to anybody, except a person who can sometimes give a little help to younger people who want to write.
This is not a news-letter, only a hurried note of acknowledgement and very very deep gratitude and devotion from the Lady’s humble servant. I wonder from where I shall hear from you next. I shall write on Thursday, and speak firmly about the photograph: cynical? I don’t know – old, No; ordinary? Impossible.