A Refutation

To the Lethargic Doctor and the Ingenious Master Freyburg¹

Consisting of an Epistle from the Low Countries and a Homily thereon.

There is a pleasure in the pathless waves

There is a rapture on the deep-sea floor²

In vacant inter-continental caves³

Whales know, but Coots and Elephants deplore;

And to emerge upon a foreign shore⁴

To view the foreign ways of foreign nations

Ought not to be regarded as a bore

By one who publishes Mass-Observations⁵

Without which nobody can understand Migrations.

This is well said by Horace and by Hafiz⁶

But Coots and Elephants love Nature less.

They hesitate to drink in German cafés;

The reason is, if they would but confess

That both of them are pedants to excess:

In youth (long past) they were almighty zealous

To study German, not to make a mess

Of German verbs: yet they can’t speak as well as

Whales can in active life—which of course makes them jealous[.]

So to mere manuscripts and the routine

Of reading German (at which they are good)

Leave Coots and Elephants; while those more keen

To travel for the Firm⁷ through storm or flood

Those of high-spirited Adventurous blood

May to the nose be true and Follow Noses.

There is some hope in Coots, whose instincts should

Praise Whale’s, instead of Elephant’s, psychosis—

Elephant’s only agile part is his proboscis.

Anent the charge that Whales behave like Fishes,

Admitted. That harpoon sinks in profound.

Now once upon a time, at Coot’s own wishes

Whale left the Sea to look at hallowed Ground

Obedient, as in proper duty bound

To any lead from Elephant or Coot.

Whale watches any Creatures so renowned,

Patient in being shot at, slow to shoot:

Observance of his Elders is Whale’s longest suit.