Fable XIV

The Whale, The Elephant, The Coot,1 and The Spider 2

INVOCATION

Conversing with you sprightly Boys

Was once the best of nightly joys.3

LARGO

The Elephant of darkish air

Of Solemn voice, of brow austere

Who bore his wisdom in his face

And testified to pride of race—

Within the vestry, vest remov’d

Chairmen and lesser men reprov’d

And various in rhyme and metre

To the feat gibe return’d a feater

So, like the ancient sage, reveal’d

The follies publick life conceal’d.4

PRESTO

Coot was nimble,5 Coot was quick

Coot jumped over the candlestick

Coot, so Coot said, had a mind

Liberal views of a Cootish kind

Dinner at Eight or not much later

And a Coot-a-Coot6 with the Wine Waiter

And ever the Policy of the Good Neighbour–7

Let that rest:

that was Coot, not Faber.

TRANSFORMATION SCENE

Duet by Elephant and Whale

Air: Did you ever hear of a Gallant Sailor? 8

Whale:

The Chairman always in Temptation

Must do what Nature bids him do:

Our Hearts feel equal Palpitation

For we’ve unguarded minutes too—

Elephant:

By Nature speedy

In Apres-midi

We don’t so much your risk repine

But late at Night-time

Is the Red-light time

Duet:

Can’t you persuade him not to dine?9

NIGGER MINSTRELS

Elephant and Spider.

Who dat Man?10

Our Faber

Who dat Man?

In Clarges Street

Who dat Man?

At the Café Royal

Who dat Man?

Jest watch his feet

See them roll and see them go

See

Them

Ro-holl

And see

Them

GO.

ENSEMBLE WITH FULL CHORUS

O Berry Berry11 let the grave close o’er

The Nights that were, that never will be more12

&c., as Madrigal, with Reel.

[F. V. Morley]

Notes
  1. 1.

    JDH note: ‘Mr F, famous for his baldness.’

  2. 2.

    JDH note: ‘Mr. H[ayward].’

    See ‘Fable XIV: ‘The owl, the swan, the cock, the spider, the ass, and the farmer’, in John Gay, Poetry and Prose II, ed. Vinton A. Dearing (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1974), 427.

  3. 3.

    John Gay, ‘Fable XIV’, ll. 1–2:

    Conversing with your sprightly boys,

    Your eyes have spoke the mother’s joys.

  4. 4.

    Gay, ‘Fable XIV’, ll. 81–90:

    An Owl, of magisterial air,

    Of solemn voice, of brow austere,

    Assum’d the pride of human race,

    And bore his wisdom in his face.

    Not to depreciate learned eyes,

    I’ve seen a pedant look as wise.

    Within a barn, from noise retir’d,

    He scorn’d the world, himself admir’d,

    And like an ancient sage, conceal’d

    The follies public life reveal’d.

  5. 5.

    The traditional nursery rhyme, first recorded in 1815, runs:

    Jack be nimble,

    Jack be quick,

    Jack jump over the candlestick.

  6. 6.

    By analogy with tête-à-tête: a private conversation between two individuals.

  7. 7.

    The Roosevelt Administration in the USA officially adopted the ‘Good Neighbour Policy’ towards Nicaragua in the early 1930s.

  8. 8.

    Gay, The Beggar’s Opera, Air LXIV: ‘Did you ever hear of a gallant Sailor?’

  9. 9.

    Achilles: An Opera (1733), by the late John Gay (1685–1732):

    AIR III. Did you ever hear of a galant Sailor.

    Ach.

    The Woman always in Temptation,

    Must do what Nature bids her do;

    Our Hearts feel equal Palpitation,

    For we’ve unguarded Minutes too.

    By Nature greedy,

    When lank and needy,

    Within your Fold the Wolf confine;

    Then bid the Glutton

    Not think of Mutton;

    Can you persuade him not to dine?

  10. 10.

    Harpo Marx, in A Day at the Races (1937), plays a lively tin whistle in a cakewalk number entitled ‘Gabriel (Who Dat Man)’.

  11. 11.

    JDH note: ‘A wine-merchant at St James’s, frequented by the author.’

  12. 12.

    Gilbert and Sullivan, The Gondoliers, Act 1, No. 5 (Duet: Casilda and Luiz):

    Oh, bury, bury – let the grave close o’er

    The days that were – that never will be more!

    Oh, bury, bury love that all condemn,

    And let the whirlwind mourn its requiem!