{"id":1012,"date":"2026-09-28T19:59:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-28T18:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/?p=1012"},"modified":"2026-11-08T18:36:37","modified_gmt":"2026-11-08T18:36:37","slug":"a-fig-for-a-foolish-one","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/a-fig-for-a-foolish-one\/","title":{"rendered":"A Fig for a Foolish One or Faber in a Firkin"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n
\n
\n

A Fig for a Foolish One1<\/a><\/sup> or Faber in a Firkin2<\/a><\/sup><\/h1>\n

by the author of<\/em><\/p>\n<\/header>\n

\n
\n

\u201cCameron\u2019s Fall\u201d3<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

and<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cHave with you to Oakhill Park\u201d4<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

to the tune of<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cHey Boys! Up go We\u201d5<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The Elephant remembers,<\/p>\n

The Whale cannot forget,<\/p>\n

The fifteen wild Decembers,6<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

And both of them regret<\/p>\n

That fish and fowl and faber7<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

And other foolish things<\/p>\n

Have wasted so much labour<\/p>\n

Performing on the tabor<\/p>\n

And dancing Highland Flings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The Elephant can not sit down,<\/p>\n

The Whale (alas!) can\u2019t fly,<\/p>\n

But there\u2019s a tavern in the town<\/p>\n

Where both drink old Tokay,8<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

Standing together in the dark,<\/p>\n

Unbloody and unbowed,<\/p>\n

Planning a new autumnal lark<\/p>\n

To tease the laird of Oakhill Park9<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

Something both long and loud.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

A chair designed for chairmen10<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

Who construe Greek in church,11<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

A rubber Worcester Pearmain.12<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

A nickel-plated birch,<\/p>\n

A pineapple that whistles,<\/p>\n

Bananas, too, that squeak,<\/p>\n

Brooms with explosive bristles.<\/p>\n

A match that merely sizzles,<\/p>\n

And coffee cups that leak:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

These things the Elephant and Whale<\/p>\n

Have ready up their sleeve;<\/p>\n

\u201cThis time\u201d, they say, \u201cwe shall not fail<\/p>\n

(With or without your leave)<\/p>\n

To hoist on high with his petard13<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

The versifying squire,<\/p>\n

And make life infinitely more hard<\/p>\n

For the poor struggling14<\/a><\/sup> booby bard15<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

And his pretentious lyre.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

[John Hayward]<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\nNotes<\/summary>\n
    \n
  1. 1.<\/a>\n

    \u2018So if you long for your son or your friend at a time when they aren\u2019t given to you, you\u2019re longing for a fig in winter, believe me\u2019 (Epictetus, Discourses<\/em> III. 24. 87).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  2. 2.<\/a>\n

    A firkin, a container for cask ale, holds 72 pints.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  3. 3.<\/a>\n

    JDH note: \u2018One Alan Cameron, a stout man, who fell in a drunken stupor outside Mr. F\u2019s residence in Oakhill Park, Frognal.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  4. 4.<\/a>\n

    Thomas Nashe\u2019s Have with You to Saffron Walden<\/em> (1596) is an extremely long (165pp.), withering attack on Dr Gabriel Harvey, who had viciously denounced Nashe to the London authorities for his earlier publication Christ\u2019s Tears<\/em> (Oct., 1593), with the consequence that Nashe had been sentenced to prison. The acrimonious Nashe, a friend of Shakespeare, felt Harvey had \u2018welneare betrayed me to infamie eternall\u2019.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  5. 5.<\/a>\n

    First penned by Francis Quarles (1592\u20131644) and published in his posthumous collection Shepheards\u2019 Oracles<\/em> (1646), this Cavalier ballad \u2018Hey, Then, Up Go We\u2019 was modified by the writer and playwright Thomas Durfey, or d\u2019Urfey (c<\/em>. 1653\u20131723), for his Pills to Purge Melancholy <\/em>(1719), which featured the refrain in the form \u2018And Hey, boys, up go we\u2019.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  6. 6.<\/a>\n

    Emily Bronte, \u2018Cold in the earth, and the deep snow piled above thee!\u2019 (ll. 9\u201312):<\/p>\n

    Cold in the earth, and fifteen wild Decembers<\/p>

    From those brown hills have melted into spring \u2013<\/p>

    Faithful indeed is the spirit that remembers<\/p>

    After such years of change and suffering!<\/p><\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  7. 7.<\/a>\n

    Genesis<\/em> 1: 26: \u2018And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  8. 8.<\/a>\n

    Tokay is a naturally sweet wine from the region around Tokaj, Hungary.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  9. 9.<\/a>\n

    JDH note: \u2018Mr. F.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  10. 10.<\/a>\n

    JDH note: \u2018This verse recalls many practical jokes made at Mr. F.\u2019s expense by his colleagues.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  11. 11.<\/a>\n

    JDH note: \u2018During his Welsh vacations Mr. F., chairman of F. & F., would read Homer in church of a Sunday.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  12. 12.<\/a>\n

    Worcester Pearmain is an early-season English apple, originating (as the name suggests) from Worcester in the 1870s, with a notable strawberry flavour.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  13. 13.<\/a>\n

    Shakespeare, Hamlet<\/em>, III. iv. 205\u20137:<\/p>\n

    \u2026 let it work,<\/p>

    For \u2019tis the sport to have the enginer<\/p>

    Hoist with his own petar[d]<\/p><\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  14. 14.<\/a>\n

    John Keats, Endymion: A Poetic Romance<\/em> (1818), Bk III, ll. 658\u20139:<\/p>\n

    \u2026 I beheld the wreck;<\/p>

    The final gulphing; the poor struggling souls.<\/p><\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  15. 15.<\/a>\n

    The booby bird derives its name from the Spanish word \u2018bobo<\/em>\u2019, meaning foolish or simple.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/details>\n<\/section>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A Fig for a Foolish One1 or Faber in a Firkin2 by the author of \u201cCameron\u2019s Fall\u201d3 and \u201cHave with you to Oakhill Park\u201d4 to the tune of \u201cHey Boys! Up go We\u201d5 The Elephant remembers, The Whale cannot forget, The fifteen wild Decembers,6 And both of them regret That fish and fowl and faber7 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":12,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1012","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1012"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1106,"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1012\/revisions\/1106"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tseliot.com\/noctes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}